LOS ANGELES – Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck looked at each other and smiled as screams drowned out their attempts to speak at Tuesday’s Bold Fresh tour de force in Tampa. Bras and underpants sailed through the air, landing sporadically on stage as the... »

SNOW CAMP, N.C. – Staffers for Senator-elect Scott Brown confirmed today that former Senator John Edwards has been attempting to contact Mr. Brown’s oldest daughter Ayla. Sources inside the Senator’s inner circle say that Senator Brown has been very patient with John Edwards even... »

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In his State of the Union speech last night, President Barack Obama scolded the American public for “not hoping hard enough.” Flanked by Vice President Joseph Biden and Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi, President Obama pulled no punches with his... »

WASHINGTON, DC – Senior White House officials confirmed today that the administration wants to appoint former Iraqi Information Minister, Mohammed Said al-Sahhaf, as temporary Press Secretary. Better known throughout the world as Baghdad Bob, Mr. Al-Sahhaf has not officially accepted the temporary position. A... »

NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA – Brett Favre hobbled off the field grimacing and moaning, clutching various parts of his body and screaming his mother’s name. He shuffled off the field of the Louisiana Superdome having lost the NFC Championship to the New Orleans Saints. As... »

WASHINGTON, DC – Whispers in the Capital building are echoing through the halls of congress today. After Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi told reporters that she doesn’t have the votes to pass a health care bill, Harry Reid’s phones began ringing off the... »

PORT AU PRINCE, HAITI – Chelsea Clinton plans to do her part to raise money for Haitian relief efforts by hosting a special Spin-class in Port Au Prince. Chelsea arrived in Haiti on Tuesday with former President William Jefferson Clinton. She asked to join her... »

Virginia Beach, Virginia – Pat Robertson went on the 700 Club earlier today and apologized for his comments about Haiti after the country was destroyed by an earthquake Tuesday. He told a television camera that earlier in the day he’d received a copy of... »

LONG ISLAND, NEW YORK – MSNBC news commentator Keith Olbermann was evicted from his Mother’s basement by Suffolk County Police yesterday. Olbermann, who is about to turn fifty one years old, has lived in the basement for over thirty- two years. According to neighbors,... »

WHITTIER, CA – In what appears to be a freak accident, a man inadvertently decapitated his own son while swinging at a pitch during a neighborhood softball game. Nine year old Carl Carson Jr. was taken to Whittier Memorial Hospital by family members who... »

LAS VEGAS – As the flame begins to flicker on his fifteen minute candle, Levi Johnston held a press conference at Palace Station Hotel and Casino to announce the opening of his new company, Frontier Diaper Service. At least twenty two people, mostly elderly... »

GRETNA, LA – From the bowels of the Jefferson Parish Correctional Facility a faint thump could be heard through the stone walls. Some inmates strained to hear what might be playing from beneath the stone floors as other inmates engaged in verbal assaults and... »

NEW YORK – CBS anchor Katie Couric announced today that in February she will have a pap smear “live” on the CBS Evening News. She has asked the FCC for permission to show explicit graphics of the medical procedure so that people can see... »

RENO, NV – During his divorce hearing today, Randall Lewinski told a judge that he was a heterosexual man who participated in homosexual activities, but only when he was impersonating Elvis Presley. He informed the court that it was only when he was Elvis... »

Washington, DC – The White House announced today that another Obama speechwriter has died from exhaustion. Anderson Bartholomew Andersen Jr. was found lying on the floor of his Washington, DC office. District of Columbia M.E. spokesperson, David Ogden Russell, read a statement to reporters: “Anderson... »

JUNIPER ISLAND, FL – Over the weekend, Vice President Al Gore postponed a lucrative trip to Copenhagen so he might convince golf impresario Tiger Woods to confess to him. Gore told reporters that at this point in his life, a confession from Tiger Woods... »

NEW YORK – Singer Rihanna came very close to singing on key this past weekend when she performed on NBC’s Saturday Night Live. Several industry insiders said that they were on the edge of their seats when Rihanna was about to hit the notes... »

LOS ANGELES – Los Angeles Police Chief Charlie Beck, told reporters today that his detectives are diligently pursuing the graffiti taggers who held Rap Artist Lil Wayne down, covering him in unattractive graffiti “tags.” Lil Wayne’s publicist told The Daily Rash that Lil Wayne is... »

WASHINGTON, DC – The White House announced today that President Barack Obama will step down as the President of the United States of America so that he can focus on winning the 2012 Democratic Presidential Nomination. White House Press Secretary, Robert Gibbs, said that the... »

MALIBU, CALIFORNIA  – For the rest of his life, actor, musician and activist, Gary Busey, wants to discipline children. Last year the Associated Press reported that for several months, Busey experienced an uneasy feeling growing inside him. As the feeling intensified, he became aware... »

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Yesterday Gore Vidal snapped out of his psychotic stupor, looked around him and asked for a glass of water. His aide brought him a glass of water and Vidal drank it. He then gave the glass back to his aide and... »

NRA President, Ron Schmeits, announced today that Mitchell Maddow (Brother of MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow) will replace him as the new President of the National Rifle Association. Schmeits told reporters that Maddow was “just more qualified for the job than I am” during a Washington... »