WASHINGTON D.C. – President Obama chided a reporter this afternoon in the Rose Garden after being asked how much worse things are expected to get. The reporter was referring to unemployment and the number of jobs lost in July. The president sighed and then admonished the reporter. “Do you know how bad things could...
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MADISON, WISCONSIN - Secret Service agents forcibly removed Vice President Joe Biden from a Democratic fund raiser in Madison yesterday after he brutally assaulted an elderly woman. When Margaret Millhouse told the Vice President that she thought his administration was spending too much money, Biden leaned into the woman, prodded her with his finger...
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WASHINGTON – After firing Stanley McChrystal and announcing at a White House press conference that he would be replacing him with General David Petraeus, President Obama retracted his statements an hour later on the Nancy Grace Show, saying he was instead going to nominate Gary Busey to replace Petraeus, who’d just replaced McChrystal. President...
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NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE – Tipper Gore broke her silence this week and admitted that she and husband Al have indeed separated. In an interview with Vibe magazine, Tipper disclosed startling details of Al Gore’s predilection for kinky sex. According to the article, husband Al’s metamorphosis from political superstar to super-freak began fairly recently. “Al began...
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WASHINGTON, DC – Speaking last night on the Joy Behar Show, President Obama said that he is tired of taking the blame for everything and that it was time that his second in command started taking some of the heat. Obama reiterated what he’d said just hours earlier on The Maury Povich show: “It’s...
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WASHINGTON, DC – In a shocking revelation, veteran White House correspondent Helen Thomas appeared on 60 Minutes last night and told Tyra Banks that she once “made out” with Adolf Hitler. Recently hired by 60 Minutes to handle foreign and domestic political coverage, Tyra Banks sat speechless in her first interview as the cameras...
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WASHINGTON, DC – The White House announced this morning that President Obama has changed his mind and decided against Elena Kagan as his choice to replace John Paul Stevens as Supreme Court Justice. Although it was announced yesterday that the president had chosen Kagan, administration insiders say that the president did a complete about-face...
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WASHINGTON, DC – Vice President Joe Biden issued a press statement today from his bedroom at the Vice Presidential residence in Washington: “I want to apologize for my words and actions yesterday at the annual White House Family Picnic. I had a few too many… and from what I’ve been told, may have made...
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WASHINGTON, DC – Senior White House officials have confirmed that President Obama’s invitation to Ohio Congressman, Dennis Kucinich, to ride with him on Air Force One was indeed intended to sway Mr. Kucinich’s vote on national health care. Until last week, Dennis Kucinich was a NO vote on the health care bill. Kucinich, a...
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GUANTANAMO BAY, CUBA – As Nancy Lilt washed the hair of detainee Momar Khalic Osimian Gargoylamainia Husein, she spoke with The Daily Rash about her gripe with the Obama administration, particularly Attorney General Eric Holder. “We fly down here to Guantanamo Bay to fix these guys up, and they take their time paying us?...
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