New C-Murder Prison Christmas CD
GRETNA, LA – From the bowels of the Jefferson Parish Correctional Facility a faint thump could be heard through the stone walls. Some inmates strained to hear
what might be playing from beneath the stone floors as other inmates engaged in verbal assaults and gang rape. As prison guard boot-heels echoed down the long rows of cell blocks, Rapper C-Murder worked diligently in the prison basement, laying down tracks for his new Gangsta Christmas album -
“MERRY F#!KING CHRISTMAS BITCH!”
“It’s not easy writing songs about Christmas you know?” C-Murder said during a phone conversation with The Daily Rash. “But when I asked the warden if I could record some music, he told me yes, but only if it’s a Christmas CD. So I got to writin’ some rhymes and now I got the first gangsta rap Christmas CD!”
The Daily Rash spoke with C-Murder about the songs on the CD.
1) I’ll Be in the Hole for Christmas - “One of my cousins liked the song “Home for Christmas” before he was gunned down. And one of my dead Uncles used to like it too. So I wrote my own version.”
2) Silencer Night – Another track based on a traditional holiday song. It’s utterly eerie in its depiction of a snowy Christmas evening shattered by the hiss of a deadly bullet. After conferring with his lawyer, C-Murder refused to comment on this song.
3) White Man’s Christmas – C-Murder’s tongue in cheek tale of dreaming of a Christmas with white people bound and gagged, while he and his peeps steal their presents and car-jack their relatives when they arrive for Christmas dinner
4) Whose Mother F$@king Child is This? – A heartfelt Christmas carol that C-Murder sings with unabashed emotion: “There was this one Christmas when some B$itch showed up at my Moms holding a screaming baby and sayin’ it was mine! I wrote this song after I told the B$itch that she better get the $#&@ out of my face!”
5) All I want for Christmas is your Big Fat Ass – A fun-filled, quirky take on a childhood song that C-Murder remembered from juvenile detention: “It was probably the second or third time I was in juvie when I learnt that song. I was only five or six years old then. I changed the title around to more replicate what I’m all about now, ya know? Ain’t no child no more if you see what I’m sayin’!” C-Murder grabbed his crotch and snickered.
6) The Twelve Deaths of Christmas – An emotional roller coaster ride of love, betrayal and a robbery gone wrong: “Wasn’t but a few holidays ago that I experienced some heavy sh$t and landed in prison, Dog! I wrote this song after I be kickin’ it with some peeps in the boiler room after curfew, Yo. I started rememberin’ bad times, so to keep from rememberin’ I punked some skinny Mother F$@ker while my peeps kep a lookout.”
7) I Saw Mama F$@king Santa Claus - This song tells the story of a young juvenile delinquent who breaks into his neighbor’s house to steal Christmas presents, only to find his own Mother in the throes of passion with the neighbor on the kitchen table. C-Murder’s production on this one is unparalleled in gangsta music. The loud gunfire at the end, juxtaposed with the delicate sobs of small children tugs at the heart.
8 ) Hark! The Herald Angels Sing – This song inadvertently details life inside a correctional facility. What was supposed to be a community effort by C-Murder and fifty other inmates concluded with a prison riot that resulted in the death of six inmates, leaving thirteen more in the infirmary. The song itself only lasts twenty-two seconds before a fight breaks out. C-Murder and his production team decided to allow the recording of what became a massacre to remain on the CD.
“I thought it would be a great idea to have lots of inmates singing on the Christmas album. I don’t know what started the fight, but when the punches started flying I wasn’t going to just stand there and sing about Harold’s Angels.”
The CD ends with yelling and cursing, shrieks and cries of anguish. The mayhem abates with sounds of gunfire and men choking on tear gas.
The CD is on sale this holiday season at a fine store near you.
