Man Tells Judge “Elvis is Gay, Not Me”
RENO, NV – At his divorce hearing today, Randall Lewinski told a judge that he was a heterosexual man who participated in homosexual activities, but only when he was impersonating Elvis Presley. He informed the court that it was only when he was Elvis that he was attracted to other men.
Flora Lewinski filed for divorce and custody of their five children in June. She said that Randall was having a homosexual relationship behind her back and that their children were traumatized. She now lives with her Mother in Tarzana, California.
Randall Lewinski was an Elvis Presley impersonator. He paid his dues on the B-list hotel circuit for eight years before he caught a break in 2007 when he was hired by Celebrities-R-Us. It was during a two week stint at the Lucky Seven Casino in Walthill, Nebraska, that Lewinski met another Elvis impersonator, Darnell Lipton. Lipton was a thrice divorced man without children.
The Daily Rash spoke with the two impersonators at a truck stop outside Reno.
“It was the first time I’d worked with another Elvis,” said Randall Lewinski. “I was a little uncomfortable at first. But after a couple of days I started seeing how talented Darnell was and our friendship began to blossom. We laugh now about how I thought he swung his hips too wide when I first watched him perform.”
“I was like Oh … My… God!” Darnell Lipton added.
Both men laughed loudly.
“Of course once I got used to it, I started swinging my hips wide too!”
“And I’m like …Oh no you didn’t!” Darnell shot back as the two shared a high-five. 
“We started sharing inside tips with each other. You know, like when to stretch your hand out, when to hold it back. When to do that whole down on one knee thing that Elvis did towards the end of his career. Some nights I would be the young Elvis, other nights Randy would. We learned to mix and match and basically….we became Elvis.” Darnell playfully brushed back Randall’s hair.
Flora Lewinski filed for divorce after she caught her husband in a midnight tryst with Darnell Lipton behind an ice machine at the Monte Carlo Motel in Reno. Mrs. Lewinski was on her way to their midnight show across the street at Circus Circus. She said that both her husband and Darnell Lipton were dressed as Elvis Presley.
Randall Lewinski said that it was while impersonating Elvis that he and Darnell began to change.
“I began to get nervous around Darnell when he was Elvis.”
“We began flirting like two school kids!” added Darnell.
“One night, as I watched Darnell sing Suspicious Minds, something stirred in me.”
“Then Randall sang Impossible Dream without taking his eyes off me.” Darnell wiped his brow.
“When Elvis can look deep into the eyes of himself, reach out and hold himself, what do you think is going to happen?”
There was an awkward moment before Darnell broke the silence.
“Hell, neither of us is gay!” he barked. “That’s what’s so stupid about all of this. When we’re not Elvis, we won’t even dress in front of each other!”
“When I’m not Elvis, I find men repulsive!” Randall cried.
“It’s even worse for me.” Darnell leaned in. “When I’m not Elvis, I actually want to hurt other men!”
They decided to sever the extracurricular relationship and focus on entertaining.
“Darnell and I tried to make it work, but it was horrible. It was like trying to stop drinking… while earning a living drinking!
Randy Lewinski realized he had to change. He took vacation time and researched other celebrities.
“I tried them all! Liberace, Little Richard, Peter Allen. Then one day I’m in the car and I’m singing After the Lovin’. I slammed on the brakes and started sobbing!”
“I get this call from Randy and he’s all crying and I’m like what’s wrong and he’s all like blowing his nose and I’m like, you need to calm down! And then he screams out….Englebert! Englebert Humperdinck! And then of course I start sobbing!”
Darnell began to study Tom Jones while Randall studied Englebert. Three months later they began touring as a double bill.
“Let’s put it this way….there wasn’t anybody more heterosexual than Tom Jones and Englebert Humperdinck!” Darnell smiled. “Now we’re back to normal. Just two heteros out there flirtin’ with the ladies!”
“Gettin’ down with da get down!”
Both men laughed and shared high fives.
The judge gave Randall Lewinski limited visitation rights and ordered him to get counseling. In January “Tom and Englebert” open a nine week run at the Best Western Hickock House in Deadwood, South Dakota.
