Brett Favre Grimaces and Hobbles as Wife Winces in the Stands
NEW ORLEANS, LOUISIANA – Brett Favre hobbled off the field grimacing and moaning, clutching various parts of his body and screaming his mother’s name. He shuffled off the field of the Louisiana Superdome having lost the NFC Championship to the New Orleans Saints. As he entered the locker room his wife Deanna met him crying tears of relief and tears of concern. She also cried tears of exhaustion and tears for the cameras. Brett Favre attempted to hug his wife but was forced to bend over in agony and scream curse words. His wife then whispered something in his ear as she closed a door that sheltered them from the press.
Favre performed brilliantly this past year as the aging “give it one more try” quarterback for the Minnesota Vikings. As the season progressed and the Vikings won game after game, there were times when Brett Favre jumped up and down like he did in high school games. There were several times when Brett Favre jumped up and exchanged chest bumps with fellow players. There is a rumor that one time Brett Favre even swatted a teammate with a towel in the showers after a victory.
But Sunday’s NFC Championship saw a different Brett Favre. Although at the end of the game the Vikings were tied with the Saints, this game was more about Brett Favre than it was the Minnesota Vikings. It was more about a legacy who, although beaten and ragged, bruised and broken… was not going to give up.
“Sure, we wanted to win the NFC Championship,” commented a Vikings offensive lineman. “But more than that, we wanted Brett to get the accolades he deserves for constantly coming out of retirement and grimacing in pain to extend his legacy and become really important.”
The season for the Minnesota Vikings morphed into the season of Brett Favre. With every touchdown pass, with every yardage gain, Favre reacted with a humbled reverence that was shared by commentators and sports journalists. 
“Every time Brett Favre gains a yard on the field is a moment savored by Brett Favre and many other people” explained a Sports Illustrated journalist. “Brett knows that every time he completes a pass, people who have no reason to live are feeling better about themselves. Maybe even reconsidering their decision to commit suicide.”
“You can see in Brett’s eyes that he understands how important his legacy is in the world of sports. Every completed pass, every hand-off with yardage gained is symbolic of his urge to compete, his desire to win and his insatiable thirst for attention.” Remarked Bert Parker, a high school coach of Favre’s who’s been an unemployed alcoholic most of his life.
Brett’s wife Deanna was in the stands at the NFC Championship. Throughout the game television cameras showed her with her hands cupped over her face. Wincing every time Brett was sacked and wincing when he grimaced and hobbled.
“Brett is aware that the cameras are on him.” Favre’s Uncle, Barry Stanton told The Daily Rash. “He knows he’s a super star! He knows that people want to watch him and see his pain and feel his struggles. Brett knows that someday there will be a movie about him. Sure he wants to win the Super Bowl! But Brett is bigger than the Super Bowl. Brett is bigger than the NFL! Brett Favre may one day be bigger than Barack Obama!”
In 2008 Brett Favre retired from professional football. In a rambling speech before reporters, Brett wept openly about his retirement. He spoke at length about his career and how much he loves the game. He wept without wiping his eyes, letting the tears flow unencumbered down his cheeks as he sighed and gasped and worked hard to evoke more tears and extend his farewell speech.
“Every time Brett unsnaps his chin strap, only to have to snap it back on thirty seconds later, he knows that the cameras are on him.” Said Donnie Parker, a long time Brett Favre fan in Green Bay. “There’s a reason Brett looks so awestruck when he completes a pass or smirks when he’s calling signals. There is a reason Brett always has his gray five o’clock shadow on game day. A reason why Brett winces, grimaces and cries out in pain….”
Donnie leaned back and smiled.
“Brett knows the cameras are on!”
