BEAVERTON, OREGON – Rod Sterling has been the assistant manager of Beaverton’s Chuck E. Cheese restaurant for eleven years. He’s had to deal with surly children, spilled drinks and crying toddlers. He’s helped burp babies, break up fights and calm impatient mothers. But for all his experiences in his eleven years as assistant manager...
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MIAMI, FLORIDA – Former NFL coach Jimmy Johnson is a man with a mission. His obsession with completing that mission is so consuming that it overshadows the glory and grandeur of his former college and professional football coaching days. His desire is so strong and powerful that he only sleeps three hours a night...
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WASHINGTON D.C. – President Obama chided a reporter this afternoon in the Rose Garden after being asked how much worse things are expected to get. The reporter was referring to unemployment and the number of jobs lost in July. The president sighed and then admonished the reporter. “Do you know how bad things could...
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ATLANTIC CITY – According to friends and relatives, Frank Sinatra Jr. is getting his house in order. Neighbors peer nervously through drawn curtains as gawking motorists slow to a crawl- hoping to catch a peek of Frank Sinatra’s only son. According to his gardener, ever since doctors told him that he was going to...
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LAS VEGAS – A confidential source inside the FBI says that they are investigating Chastity Bono, daughter of entertainers Sonny and Cher, for alleged connections to organized crime syndicates. The source said that Chastity Bono may hold a high position of power in the chain of command that comprises the families that rule organized...
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“I’d been hit several times by low flying birds. They seemed focused on me, not the other band members. So when I looked up and saw the largest pigeon hovering over me, I knew I was being targeted! The big bird hovered for a moment and then he turned his head and dipped into...
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MADISON, WISCONSIN - Secret Service agents forcibly removed Vice President Joe Biden from a Democratic fund raiser in Madison yesterday after he brutally assaulted an elderly woman. When Margaret Millhouse told the Vice President that she thought his administration was spending too much money, Biden leaned into the woman, prodded her with his finger...
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WASHINGTON – After firing Stanley McChrystal and announcing at a White House press conference that he would be replacing him with General David Petraeus, President Obama retracted his statements an hour later on the Nancy Grace Show, saying he was instead going to nominate Gary Busey to replace Petraeus, who’d just replaced McChrystal. President...
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LOS ANGELES – As the bodies pile up at the city morgue and inner city alleyways, the residents of Los Angeles continue to celebrate their Lakers’ victory in the NBA championship against the Boston Celtics. Several cars continued to smolder as the sun rose following a night of raucous partying by a city that...
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NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE – Tipper Gore broke her silence this week and admitted that she and husband Al have indeed separated. In an interview with Vibe magazine, Tipper disclosed startling details of Al Gore’s predilection for kinky sex. According to the article, husband Al’s metamorphosis from political superstar to super-freak began fairly recently. “Al began...
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