NEW YORK – In her first interview since returning to work after experiencing health problems, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton appeared on MSNBC’s Politics Nation with host Al Sharpton. Following is a transcript of their conversation.
AL SHARPTON: I want to extend my welcome mat to the gracious Madam of the Secretaries, Hillary Ramrod Clinton.
HILLARY: Thank you, Mr. Sharpton.
AL SHARPTON: You may call me Reverend.
HILLARY: Of course, Reverend.
AL SHARPTON: I’ve been told you have a knot in your head.
HILLARY: Well, I had a blood clot.
AL SHARPTON: Inside your head?
AL SHARPTON: Ow! That can’t be good.
HILLARY: Nope it wasn’t. But everything appears to be OK now.
AL SHARPTON: Allow me to suppress a safe passage to healthy on behalf of MSNBC and African Americans of color.
HILLARY: Thank you.
HILLARY: I haven’t been listening to what Republicans have been saying since I was sick.
AL SHARPTON: Were you aware that President Obama cried when he spoke to his staff after the election?
HILLARY: Our compassionate president has openly wept several times of late.
AL SHARPTON: One of the perks of being the Commander of Chiefs is he can be late anytime he wants.
HILLARY: (Looks confused)
AL SHARPTON: You have announced that you will not be the Madam after Obama’s second coming.
HILLARY: After much deliberation I felt it was time to step down as Secretary of State and turn it over to someone else.
AL SHARPTON: Many say that you intention to be the next president after Obama. How do you respond?
HILLARY: (laughing loudly) Believe me, the furthest thing from my mind is running for president.
AL SHARPTON: You are married to the first black president. What’s it been like living in an inner racial relationship?
HILLARY: (laughing loudly) Well, Bill may have been called the first black president, but I assure you, my husband is very white.
AL SHARPTON: (laughing) I admit I had my doubts after Monica Lohansky said President Clinton’s you know what was the size of a thumb.
HILLARY: (looks dumbfounded)
HILLARY: Throughout the years I’ve worked alongside so many wonderful and capable African Americans, but President Obama is my first African American boss.
AL SHARPTON: Is there any discrempancy in your mind, by that I do not mean your blood knot, but are you confident that an African American man of color is capable of handling the tough jobs?
HILLARY: Of course! African Americans are just as capable as anyone else.
AL SHARPTON: Would you say African Americans are more capable than Jews?
HILLARY: Along with capable and hard working African Americans, I’ve been privileged to associate with lots of remarkable Jewish Americans. The United States is fortunate to have so many different cultures sharing their lives with each other.
AL SHARPTON: Let me get to the hearth of the matter in which we shall dialogue about. Since I am the news anchor of my own news show on MSNBC, I am expectant to ask the tough questions.
HILLARY: I understand.
AL SHARPTON: Thank you, Secretary Madam. Now, have you or do you not expect to be responsible for the lives taken by the hands of infilterators at the American covenant in ByGolly?
HILLARY: I’m sorry?
AL SHARPTON: Do you now or will you at some point in the past be the buck where the facts about ByGolly stop? In other words, will you be anywhere near the buck if it stops?
HILLARY: What happened in Benghazi was tragic and I, along with the administration, plan to pursue the culprits who killed four brave Americans until they are captured and prosecuted.
AL SHARPTON: You just said you do not want to run for president….
HILLARY: (laughing loudly) It’s the last thing on my mind, I assure you!
HILLARY: Oh I’m sure he’d find lots to do.
AL SHARPTON: I guess the question wouldn’t so much be what he’s doing, but who he’s doing it to.
HILLARY: (Stares blankly)
AL SHARPTON: We’re out of time today with our special guest, Madam Hillary Ramrod Clinton. Thank you for joining me on my own news show where I host.
HILLARY: (bewildered) Thank you.