Al Sharpton Talks with Hillary Clinton about Benghazi, Blood Clots and Bill’s Penis

NEW YORK – In her first interview since stepping down as Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton appeared on MSNBC’s Politics Nation with host Al Sharpton. Following is a transcript of their conversation.

AL SHARPTON:  I want to extend my welcome mat to the gracious Madam of the Secretaries, Hillary Ramrod Clinton.

HILLARY:  Thank you, Mr. Sharpton.

AL SHARPTON:  You may call me Reverend.

HILLARY:  Of course, Reverend.

AL SHARPTON:  I’ve been told you have a knot in your head.

HILLARY:  Well, a few months ago I had a blood clot.

AL SHARPTON:  Inside your head?


AL SHARPTON:  Ow! That can’t be good.

HILLARY:  Nope it wasn’t. But everything appears to be OK now.

AL SHARPTON:  Allow me to suppress a safe passage to healthy on behalf of MSNBC and African Americans of color.

HILLARY:  Thank you.

AL SHARPTON:  Some Republicans made a record saying you used the knot in your head as an excuse to avoid answering questions about Bygolly. What have you to say, Secretary of Madams?

HILLARY:  I haven’t been listening to what Republicans have been saying since I left the State Department.

AL SHARPTON:  Were you aware that President Obama cried when he spoke to his staff after he won the election?

HILLARY:  Our compassionate president has openly wept several times of late.

AL SHARPTON:  One of the perks of being the Commander of Chiefs is he can be late anytime he wants.

HILLARY:  (Looks confused)

AL SHARPTON:  You chose not to be the Madam after Obama’s second coming.

HILLARY:  Yes, after much deliberation I felt it was time to step down as Secretary of State and turn it over to someone else.

AL SHARPTON:  Many say that you intention to be the next president after Obama. How do you respond?

HILLARY:  (laughing loudly) Believe me, the furthest thing from my mind is running for president.

AL SHARPTON:  You are married to the first black president. What’s it been like living in an inner racial relationship?

HILLARY:  (laughing loudly) Well, Bill may have been called the first black president, but I assure you, my husband is very white.

AL SHARPTON:  (laughing) I admit I had my doubts when Monica Lohansky said President Clinton’s you know what was the size of a thumb.

HILLARY:  (looks dumbfounded)

AL SHARPTON:  Secretary of Madams, before President Obama, had you ever had an African American boss before?

HILLARY:  Throughout the years I’ve worked alongside so many wonderful and capable African Americans, but President Obama is my first African American boss.

AL SHARPTON:  Is there any discrempancy in your mind, by that I do not mean your blood knot, but are you confident that an African American man of color is capable of handling the tough jobs?

HILLARY:  Of course! African Americans are just as capable as anyone else.

AL SHARPTON:  Would you say African Americans are more capable than Jews?

HILLARY:  Along with capable and hard working African Americans, I’ve been privileged to associate with lots of remarkable Jewish Americans. The United States is fortunate to have so many different cultures sharing their lives with each other.

AL SHARPTON:  Let me get to the hearth of the matter in which we shall dialogue about. Since I am the news anchor of my own news show on MSNBC, I am expectant to ask the tough questions.

HILLARY:  I understand.

AL SHARPTON:  Thank you, Secretary Madam. Now, have you or do you not expect to be responsible for the lives taken by the hands of infilterators at the American covenant in ByGolly?

HILLARY:  I’m sorry?

AL SHARPTON:  Do you now or will you at some point in the past be the buck where the facts about ByGolly stop? In other words, will you be anywhere near the buck if it stops?

HILLARY:  What happened in Benghazi was tragic and I, along with the administration, plan to pursue the culprits who killed four brave Americans until they are captured and prosecuted.

AL SHARPTON:  You just said you do not want to run for president….

HILLARY:  (laughing loudly) It’s the last thing on my mind, I assure you!

AL SHARPTON:  But if you would inbulge me for the sake of my audience, if you do become the next president, what is the former President Clinton going to do at the White House all day?

HILLARY:  Oh I’m sure he’d find lots to do.

AL SHARPTON:  I guess the question wouldn’t so much be what he’s doing, but who he’s doing it to.

HILLARY:  (Stares blankly)

AL SHARPTON:  We’re out of time today with our special guest, Madam Hillary Ramrod Clinton. Thank you for joining me on my own news show where I host.

HILLARY:  (bewildered) Thank you.


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