LONDON – Just two days before his singing debut at the infamous Blue Note jazz club in Greenwich Village, Mitch Winehouse was told his daughter Amy had died from a drug overdose. After a heated discussion with his new managers, agents and publicists, Mitch begrudgingly cancelled his shows and returned to London for the funeral. Although his dream of singing at the Blue Note will be delayed, Mitch is determined to get back on the road before the fickle window of opportunity slams shut on him forever. And with Amy dead, Mitch knows that he doesn’t have any time to waste.
After squandering away decades behind the wheel of a taxi cab, Mitch finally found a semblance of fame after his daughter became a rich and famous singer on her own. With a cool and unique style, Amy floored even the most grizzled music veterans with her eclectic vocal style and song writing skills. After Amy became a household name, Mitch repeatedly acknowledged that it was his influence that led to his daughter’s singing talents and eventual worldwide fame.
“Mitch is a damn good singer himself,” remarked Derby Chatsdale, a fellow taxi driver and close friend of Mitch Winehouse. “Mitch sacrificed his talent to support Amy and her brother. If it wasn’t for the money Mitch brought home from driving his taxi, Amy probably would not have had enough food to eat. And without enough food to eat, there’s no way she would have had the strength to sing.” Derby shook his head. “And then she wouldn’t have become rich and famous. Thanks to her dad’s sacrifice Amy Winehouse got to live her dreams.”
Mitchel Winehouse told reporters that he’s calling his new world tour the “My Daughter Amy Winehouse is Dead” tour.
At sixty years old Mitchell knows if he wants to realize his dreams of being a teenage idol he has to act fast. Chances are the doors opened by his daughter will begin closing within a few months of her death. With that in mind Mitchell is diving head first into his career by playing over 450 shows around the world in the next year.
“We’ve got him booked sometimes twice a day,” his newly hired publicist told the Daily Rash. “We gotta go while the goin’ is good. We gotta milk this mother load before it dries up and we find ourselves playing Walmart parking lots and nursing homes. So we’re going everywhere and anywhere around the globe. We’re even filming it for a heartfelt Tribute to Amy documentary that we will release as soon as possible.”
Joe Jackson, father of pop superstar Michael Jackson, is promoting the Mitchell Winehouse My Daughter Amy Winehouse is Dead tour. Jackson’s production company Five Kids and a Paddle is breaking new ground by adopting gifted children so Joe can mercilessly work his magic on them. An inside source said the entire Jackson family, including Michael’s kids, really want to speak at the Amy Winehouse funeral. Thus far there has been no word if that will actually happen.
It has been confirmed that Mitch Winehouse will be performing select songs from his act at Amy’s funeral. A family insider said the Amazing Kreskin is being considered as an opening act. And Keith Olbermann is reporting that Freddie Fender has offered to perform his smash hit, Wasted Days and Wasted Nights.
Fox news announced that veteran reporter Geraldo Rivera will have an all-night news special where he plans to take the same drugs that Amy took on her last night alive so he can report what she may have experienced before she died. He claims he could very well die on live TV.
The Mitch Winehouse My Daughter Amy Winehouse is Dead tour begins Friday in Fier, Albania.