Daily Rash


Nancy Pelosi Urges Redskins Owner to Change Name to Washington Potatoes

WASHINGTON – Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi met with senior citizens today at the End of the Rainbow nursing home where she spoke out against white privilege and the war on women. She also spoke passionately about gender neutral bathrooms in grade schools. At the conclusion of her speech Pelosi abruptly switched gears when she called...
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Hillary Clinton Says Chelsea Erased Servers During Postpartum Depression

This afternoon Democratic presidential frontrunner, Hillary Clinton, appeared on MSNBC’s Hardball with host Chris Matthews to discuss the missing emails from her time as Secretary of State. Following is a transcript of that interview which airs at 6 pm tonight on MSNBC. CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Thank you for joining us today Madam Secretary. I also...
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Al Sharpton Asks Joe Biden About a Hillary Clinton Menstruation

WASHINGTON  – After speaking to a group of seniors about shotgun ownership and voting rights at the Last Train to Clarksville nursing home in Bethesda this afternoon, Vice President Joe Biden appeared on MSNBC’s PoliticsNation with host, Al Sharpton. Sharpton asked the vice president pointed questions about Hillary Clinton, Biden’s own presidential aspirations and...
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Al Qaeda Jihad Magazine Publishes First Swimsuit Issue

Thedailyrash.com

YEMEN – In an apparent attempt to escalate worldwide interest in the holy war against infidels, Inspire, al Qaeda’s Internet propaganda magazine, published its first swimsuit issue this week. In a teleconference call from an unknown location in Yemen, a spokesperson for the magazine, someone who called himself Larry, told reporters that Inspire’s swimsuit...
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David Caruso Explains Sideways Stance: “I Always Face Mecca”

Thedailyrash.com

LOS ANGELES – Last week when David Caruso appeared on The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra asked him at the end of their short interview, “David, how come you keep facing away from me?” Caruso stood up, put on his sunglasses and said, “Because, Tyra….I always face Mecca.” Caruso then walked off stage and the...
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Michelle Obama Proposes Slaughtering Obese Children

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LAS VEGAS – This weekend First Lady Michelle Obama spoke at a gathering of physicians and nutritionists at a Childhood Obesity forum at the Bellagio hotel. Sporting a sleeveless garment that allowed her toned arms to mesmerize awestruck attendees, the first lady regaled her admirers as physically fit waitstaff served healthy hors d’oeuvres and...
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Sting Admits to Decades Long Love Affair with Himself

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LOS ANGELES – International rock star and celebrity Gordon Sumner, better known around the world as Sting, admitted on the Tyra Banks Show last week that for the past twenty-five years he’s been having an affair with himself. Audience members gasped, some even running from the studio holding their stomachs. One woman said that...
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Eric Holder Vows to Shave Mustache if Ferguson Cop Isn’t Indicted

Thedailyrash.com

FERGUSON, MISSOURI – Attorney General Eric Holder made a surprise appearance Friday at a parking lot protest rally in downtown Ferguson. Arriving by limo, Holder jumped up on the flatbed truck that served as a makeshift stage and waved to the hundred or so protesters before embracing Al Sharpton. When the attorney general lifted...
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Hillary Clinton Says Nazi Salute at Book Signing Was Just a Silly Joke

TheDailyRash.com

MARTHA’S VINEYARD – At a crowded book signing yesterday former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was photographed doing a Nazi salute as she and several women around her laugh. When Mrs. Clinton was asked about the photograph after it went viral she laughed and said her Nazi salute was “just a silly joke.” This...
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MSNBC Anchor Compares President Obama to Jesus

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MSNBC anchor Chris Matthews began his show Hardball last night celebrating the birthday of President Obama. Following is a transcript of that portion of the broadcast. CHRIS MATTHEWS: Tonight we pay tribute to our President, Barack Obama, on his 53rd birthday. Over the years I’ve been laughed at for my allegiance to my president....
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