Daily Rash


Obama Welcomes America’s First Transgender Baby to White House

WASHINGTON – This afternoon top administration officials and celebrities joined President and Mrs. Obama in welcoming America’s first transgender baby to the White House. Eleven-month-old Hillary Rodham Carter is the youngest transgender to meet officially with a U.S. president. The president hosted a gender-neutral luncheon for the adorable transgender tot and its parents with...
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President Obama Awards Himself the Presidential Medal of Freedom

WASHINGTON – On Wednesday President Obama presented awards to seventeen honorees of the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The medal is the nation’s highest civilian honor, awarded for meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors. After introducing...
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President Obama and North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Un in Twitter Feud

WASHINGTON – Early this morning North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un took to his Twitter account and began a rash of disparaging taunts directed at President Barack Obama. After a year of clownish bravado from the young dictator that included nuclear threats, few were surprised that he would attempt to provoke the president with denigrating...
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Megyn Kelly Assaults Michelle Fields on Fox News

Michelle Fields, the woman who accused Donald Trump’s campaign manager of assaulting her, appeared on the Fox News channel today with host Megyn Kelly where she revealed for the first time the gruesome severity of her injuries. Following is a transcript of that interview which airs tonight on The Kelly File at 10:00 pm...
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Hillary Clinton Says Chelsea Erased Servers During Postpartum Depression

This afternoon Democratic presidential frontrunner, Hillary Clinton, appeared on MSNBC’s Hardball with host Chris Matthews to discuss the missing emails from her time as Secretary of State. Following is a transcript of that interview which airs at 6 pm tonight on MSNBC. CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Thank you for joining us today Madam Secretary. I also...
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Joe Biden Talks About the Pain of Birth in Confusing Labor Day Speech

PITTSBURGH — Joe Biden may not have announced his decision to run for president in his Labor Day speech to union workers on Monday, but the raucous applause and enthusiasm he received is more commonly reserved for presidential candidates, not second term vice presidents. As Biden stood on the stage soaking in the adoration...
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Nancy Pelosi Urges Redskins Owner to Change Name to Washington Potatoes

WASHINGTON – Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi met with senior citizens today at the End of the Rainbow nursing home where she spoke out against white privilege and the war on women. She also spoke passionately about gender neutral bathrooms in grade schools. At the conclusion of her speech Pelosi abruptly switched gears when she called...
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Joe Biden Calls Hillary Clinton the Yoko Ono of Politics

WASHINGTON  – After speaking to a group of seniors about shotgun ownership and voting rights at the Last Train to Clarksville nursing home in Bethesda this afternoon, Vice President Joe Biden appeared on MSNBC’s PoliticsNation with host, Al Sharpton. Sharpton asked the vice president pointed questions about Hillary Clinton, Biden’s own presidential aspirations and...
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Michelle Obama Proposes Slaughtering Obese Children

LAS VEGAS – This weekend First Lady Michelle Obama spoke at a gathering of physicians and nutritionists at a Childhood Obesity forum at the Bellagio hotel. Sporting a sleeveless garment that allowed her toned arms to mesmerize awestruck attendees, the first lady regaled her admirers as physically fit waitstaff served healthy hors d’oeuvres and...
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Sting Admits to Decades Long Love Affair with Himself

LOS ANGELES – International rock star and celebrity Gordon Sumner, better known around the world as Sting, admitted on the Tyra Banks Show last week that for the past twenty-five years he’s been having an affair with himself. Audience members gasped, some even running from the studio holding their stomachs. One woman said that...
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