Daily Rash


Macy’s Fires Another Santa for Drinking on the Job

NEW YORK – Macy’s department store has fired yet another Santa Claus employee for being drunk at their Herald Square location in Manhattan, their fifth Santa termination since November 25th. A spokesperson for Macy’s said two other Santas have been suspended without pay for three days and another was issued a verbal warning, all...
Read Story »

Biden: ‘Obama Doesn’t Lie. He’s an Articulate & Clean African American’

WASHINGTON – What was supposed to have been a friendly town hall meeting for Vice President Biden with senior citizens this morning escalated into a raucous shouting match over problems with the newly implemented Affordable Care Act. Biden’s appearance was initially slated to promote his passion for shotgun ownership by explaining the dangers of...
Read Story »

Al Sharpton’s New Book Sells Over a Dozen Copies in Less Than a Month

NEW YORK – Reverend Al Sharpton’s new book, “The Rejected Stone: Al Sharpton and the Path to American Leadership” appears to be on an unshakable trajectory to success, according to its author. Since its release less than 30 days ago the revered civil rights leader’s long awaited memoir has already sold 18 copies. A...
Read Story »

Obama and Biden Caught Making Fun of Health Care Law on Hot Mic

WASHINGTON – To the dismay of democrats and republicans alike, a CNN cameraman with a live mic recorded President Obama and Vice President Biden cracking jokes about the new health care law as they sat together outside the White House yesterday. Following is a transcript of their conversation. BIDEN: (nudges Obama with his elbow)...
Read Story »

Joe Biden Denies Asking Vladimir Putin to be Running Mate in 2016

WASHINGTON – During his interview with Chris Matthews on MSNBC’s Hardball, Vice President Biden was asked about rumors circulating Washington that he asked Russian President Putin to be his running mate in the 2016 presidential race. Following is a transcript of that conversation. CHRIS MATTHEWS:  My guest tonight is the vice president of the...
Read Story »

Alec Baldwin Shocks Dinner Guests, Calls New Baby ‘Dirty Little Whore’

NEW YORK – An intimate dinner party held at Alec Baldwin’s Manhattan home last night ended prematurely after Baldwin’s newborn baby daughter threw-up on his shirt. According to guests who attended the dinner, Baldwin’s alarming reaction towards his baby made them so uncomfortable they were forced to make a hasty departure before dinner was...
Read Story »

Obama Asks Putin for Help Passing Immigration Reform Through Congress

WASHINGTON – The White House confirmed today that President Obama has reached out to Russian President Vladimir Putin in his effort to get immigration reform passed in Congress this year. During an appearance on CBS This Morning, National Security Adviser Susan Rice said the administration has the utmost confidence the Russian president can muster...
Read Story »

New York City Parents Elated About Morning-After Pill For 11-Year-Olds

“It’s just a wonderful feeling knowing my government cares enough about our children to provide them with the emergency birth control I didn’t have access to when I was in 6th grade.”     —  Linda “Sunny” Rothchild, NYC NEW YORK – New York City mayoral candidate, Christine Quinn, says she’s open to allowing middle-school girls...
Read Story »

Obama Furious After Vladimir Putin Unfriends Him on Facebook

WASHINGTON – The turmoil that was generated between Russia and the United States after President Vladimir Putin granted asylum to Edward Snowden last month escalated even further when President Obama cancelled his private meeting with the Russian president before September’s G-20 conference of world economic leaders in St. Petersburg. But the delicate fragments of...
Read Story »

Al Sharpton Asks George Zimmerman, ‘Do You Want to Shoot Me?’

In a bewildering turn of events that has rocked the world of cable news, George Zimmerman agreed to an interview with Reverend Al Sharpton on MSNBC. The following transcript of the no-holds-barred interview which airs tonight on Sharpton’s show, PoliticsNation, was leaked by an anonymous source inside MSNBC. AL SHARPTON:  George Zimmerman, you are my exclusive...
Read Story »