Daily Rash


Joe Biden Admits Taking Viagra Before Attending State of the Union Address

WASHINGTON – During Tuesday night’s State of the Union address Vice President Biden admitted to Speaker of the House John Boehner that he’d accidentally taken Viagra pills before arriving for the event. This morning, after giving a talk on shotgun ownership to seniors at a Bethesda nursing home, the vice president came clean when...
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Chris Christie’s Staff Blames Bridge Closing on Anti-Islam Video

TRENTON – This afternoon staff members loyal to New Jersey Governor Chris Christie alleged that the September closing of traffic lanes leading to the George Washington bridge was the result of a spontaneous reaction to an anti-Islam YouTube video. Although Gov. Christie has apologized for “unwittingly” misleading the public, calling the bridge closing “embarrassing...
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Obama Appoints Reverend Al Sharpton Global Warming Czar

WASHINGTON – During this morning’s White House briefing Jay Carney confirmed President Obama will appoint Al Sharpton to be the administration’s new Global Warming Czar. Carney said the president was astonished at the scientific brilliance Sharpton displayed when he explained man-made climate change earlier this week on MSNBC. “The president happened to tune into...
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Al Sharpton Slams Michelle Obama: ‘You Cock-Blocked the President!’

KAILUA, Hawaii – The White House was so impressed with Michelle Obama’s guest spot on Al Sharpton’s afternoon radio show a few weeks ago that the first lady agreed to appear on Sharpton’s MSNBC cable news show tonight. The interview was taped this morning in Hawaii where the Obama’s are vacationing for the holidays....
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John Kerry Enters Rehab After White House Stages Botox Intervention

WASHINGTON – This morning the White House acknowledged that President Obama invited John Kerry to Thanksgiving dinner last week in order to stage an intervention. Earlier in the week Obama met with several members of his administration to discuss Secretary Kerry’s Botox usage. After a lengthy discussion, the decision to stage an intervention was...
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Biden: ‘Obama Doesn’t Lie. He’s an Articulate & Clean African American’

WASHINGTON – What was supposed to have been a friendly town hall meeting for Vice President Biden with senior citizens this morning escalated into a raucous shouting match over problems with the newly implemented Affordable Care Act. Biden’s appearance was initially slated to promote his passion for shotgun ownership by explaining the dangers of...
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Al Sharpton’s New Book Sells Over a Dozen Copies in Less Than a Month

NEW YORK – Reverend Al Sharpton’s new book, “The Rejected Stone: Al Sharpton and the Path to American Leadership” appears to be on an unshakable trajectory to success, according to its author. Since its release less than 30 days ago the revered civil rights leader’s long awaited memoir has already sold 18 copies. A...
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Obama and Biden Caught Making Fun of Health Care Law on Hot Mic

WASHINGTON – To the dismay of democrats and republicans alike, a CNN cameraman with a live mic recorded President Obama and Vice President Biden cracking jokes about the new health care law as they sat together outside the White House yesterday. Following is a transcript of their conversation. BIDEN: (nudges Obama with his elbow)...
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Joe Biden Denies Asking Vladimir Putin to be Running Mate in 2016

WASHINGTON – During his interview with Chris Matthews on MSNBC’s Hardball, Vice President Biden was asked about rumors circulating Washington that he asked Russian President Putin to be his running mate in the 2016 presidential race. Following is a transcript of that conversation. CHRIS MATTHEWS:  My guest tonight is the vice president of the...
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Obama Asks Putin for Help Passing Immigration Reform Through Congress

WASHINGTON – The White House confirmed today that President Obama has reached out to Russian President Vladimir Putin in his effort to get immigration reform passed in Congress this year. During an appearance on CBS This Morning, National Security Adviser Susan Rice said the administration has the utmost confidence the Russian president can muster...
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