NEW YORK – DreamWorks Studios announced today that they are in the final stages of salary negotiations with former Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank for their new Looney Tunes Bugs Bunny movie. Frank is slated to play Elmer Fudd in the two-hundred million dollar, three hour movie. The congressman expressed interest in the role when he heard that Bugs Bunny was going to be played by an actor who has expressed conservative political views in the past. Reporters spoke with Congressman Frank over brunch in the West Village where he was visiting a friend.
“It was wight before our summer wecess,” he recalled, “and Hawwy Weid took me aside and infowmed me that the character of Bugs Bunny was going to be pwayed by a wacially insensitive wight wing wepublican.”
Repeated attempts to contact Steven Spielberg at Dream Works through emails and phone calls have yet to yield a response. People affiliated with the project remain mum on the identity of the “politically conservative actor.”
“It’s a bit pwemature at this point to say that I have the woll wapped up,” the congressman said, as he voraciously gnawed at a double-decker roast beef sandwich with a side of ham, bacon and sausage fritters and a stack of blueberry pancakes. “Although, I have been in negotiations for qwuite some time.”
The congressman slurped his chocolate malted.
“It is a woll I feel I am weady to begin wehearsing for,” he said, pausing to choke down an over zealous bite of syrup and butter soaked pancakes, “but the contwact has not yet been signed,” he added.
Congressman Frank put aside his acting ambitions after failing to nail a role in Ain’t Misbehavin‘ several years ago. It was while watching videos of Tea Party demonstrations that he became convinced that it was time for him to once again pursue acting.
“I was sitting at home listening to a Linda Wonstadt CD and watching Watchel Maddow with the sound down. As I watched those so called Tea Pawties, where the wacists are vewy vocal about their lack of wespect for our pwesident, Senator John Kewwy happened to call me and suggest that I offer my sewvices to Hollywood.”
He threw his hands up in the air, “If I were a weligous man, I would say it was a sign!”
The congressman paused to wipe his brow.
“I’m not just a public wepwesentative you know. I’m also a wegulaw pewson who is vewy anxious to see justice wetuwned to our movie scweens.”
When the congressman was asked how he felt about Bugs Bunny, he leaned back and thought for a moment and then sighed.
“If it’s twue that Bugs is now a wacist, wight wing wepublican wabbitt…if that is twue, then I will be happy to either put him in pwison or woast him alive!”
The congressman laughed a big booming belly laugh as he checked out a muscular construction worker walking by.