Celebrities

Man Tells Judge “Elvis is Gay, Not Me”

RENO – At a divorce hearing today at the Washoe County Courthouse, Randall Lewinski told a judge that he was a heterosexual man who participated in homosexual activities, but only when he was impersonating Elvis Presley. He informed the court that it was only when he was Elvis that he was attracted to other...
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Gary Busey Wants to Discipline Your Children

MALIBU, CALIFORNIA  – For the rest of his life actor Gary Busey says he wants to discipline children. Last year the Associated Press reported that for several months Busey experienced an uneasy feeling growing inside him. The actor told a reporter he became aware of dramatic changes in himself as the uneasy feeling intensified....
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John Travolta Urinates Outside at Disney World

ORLANDO, FLORIDA – A Disney World spokesperson announced this afternoon that actor John Travolta was asked to leave the amusement park Monday after he jumped into the water of a theme ride and proceeded to urinate. When the incident occurred Disney World revelers ran towards security team members as parents shielded the eyes of...
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David Caruso Explains Sideways Stance: “I Always Face Mecca”

LOS ANGELES – Last week when David Caruso appeared on The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra asked him at the end of their short interview, “David, how come you keep facing away from me?” Caruso stood up, put on his sunglasses and said, “Because, Tyra….I always face Mecca.” Caruso then walked off stage and the...
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Alec Baldwin Shocks Dinner Guests, Calls New Baby ‘Dirty Little Whore’

NEW YORK – An intimate dinner party held at Alec Baldwin’s Manhattan home last night ended prematurely after Baldwin’s newborn baby daughter threw-up on his shirt. According to guests who attended the dinner, Baldwin’s alarming reaction towards his baby made them so uncomfortable they were forced to make a hasty departure before dinner was...
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Sting Admits to Decades Long Love Affair with Himself

LOS ANGELES – International rock star and celebrity Gordon Sumner, better known around the world as Sting, admitted on the Tyra Banks Show last week that for the past twenty-five years he’s been having an affair with himself. Audience members gasped, some even running from the studio holding their stomachs. One woman said that...
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White House Announces Beyonce to Perform at State of the Union Address

WASHINGTON – The White House announced this morning that pop star Beyonce accepted an invitation to perform at the State of the Union address on Tuesday. According to a post on President Obama’s Facebook page, when the president reaches the speaker’s rostrum in the house chamber to deliver his speech, Beyonce will descend from the...
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Barbara Walters Lands First Interview with 3-Month-Old Colorado Shooting Victim

Barbara Walters Lands First Interview with 3-Month-Old Colorado Shooting Victim

COLORADO – ABC News announced today that Barbara Walters has landed the first interview with the 3-month-old victim of last year’s tragic movie theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado. The baby was released from the hospital in good shape the day after the shootings with doctors saying the child’s injuries were not life threatening. The...
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Meteorologist Rosie O’Donnell Says Deadly Tornadoes Caused by Global Warming

Meteorologist Rosie O’Donnell Says Deadly Tornadoes Caused by Global Warming

NEW YORK – Internationally famous meteorologist and comedian, Rosie O’Donnell, has determined that global warming is the culprit behind last week’s deadly tornadoes. O’Donnell shared the results of her research during an interview on NPR this morning, confirming what other celebrity scientists have been warning about for quite some time. “Miss O’Donnell is in...
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Cybill Shepherd Willing to Die Protesting the War On Women

Cybill Shepherd Willing to Die Protesting the War On Women

NEW YORK – A defiant Cybill Shepherd shocked “CBS This Morning” television viewers Friday when she announced she would not be wearing a bulletproof vest when she marches on Washington to protest the war on women. Stunned viewers sat open mouthed, some admitted weeping while others sought counsel from clergy. One woman has already...
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