Celebrities

Koran Burning Pastor & Ground Zero Imam to Appear on Wife-Swap

Koran Burning Pastor & Ground Zero Imam to Appear on Wife-Swap

WASHINGTON – Vice President Joe Biden announced this morning that Florida Pastor Terry Jones and New York Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf have agreed to appear on the television show Wife-Swap. The vice president was all smiles as he explained that he was the one who approached the two controversial men about appearing on the...
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Coach Jimmy Johnson Working Overtime to Enlarge Your Penis

Coach Jimmy Johnson Working Overtime to Enlarge Your Penis

MIAMI, FLORIDA – Former NFL coach Jimmy Johnson is a man with a mission. His obsession with completing that mission is so consuming that it overshadows the glory and grandeur of his former college and professional football coaching days. His desire so strong and powerful, he only sleeps three hours a night before he...
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Doctors Warn Frank Sinatra Jr. He’s Going to Explode

Doctors Warn Frank Sinatra Jr. He’s Going to Explode

ATLANTIC CITY – According to his friends and relatives, Frank Sinatra Jr. is getting his house in order. As his neighbors peer nervously through drawn curtains, gawking motorists slow to a crawl in front of the singer’s home with hopes of catching a glimpse of Frank Sinatra’s only son. According to his gardener, ever...
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Chaz Bono Suspected of Being Mafia Crime Boss

Chaz Bono Suspected of Being Mafia Crime Boss

LAS VEGAS – A confidential source says the FBI is investigating Chaz Bono, daughter of entertainers Sonny and Cher, for alleged connections to organized crime. The source said that Bono may hold a high position of power in the chain of command that comprises the families that rule organized crime in America. The source...
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Mel Gibson Tells Tyra Banks: ‘Some of My Best Friends Are Niggers’

NEW YORK – In an exclusive interview on 60 Minutes Sunday night, Hollywood superstar Mel Gibson told host Tyra Banks that his past racial slurs about black people were taken out of context. Fighting to hold back emotion, Gibson came across as a man desperate for redemption and understanding. With her usual tact and...
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Obama Fires Petraeus, Gary Busey to Lead War in Afghanistan

WASHINGTON – After firing Stanley McChrystal and announcing at a White House press conference that he would be replacing him with General David Petraeus, President Obama retracted his statements an hour later on the Nancy Grace Show, saying he was instead going to nominate Gary Busey to replace Petraeus, who’d just replaced McChrystal. President...
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Helen Thomas Confesses to Tyra Banks: ‘I Made Out With Hitler’

WASHINGTON, DC – In a shocking revelation during her 2010 appearance on 60 Minutes, former White House correspondent Helen Thomas told Tyra Banks that she once “made out” with Adolf Hitler. Tyra Banks, who’d recently been hired by 60 Minutes to handle foreign and domestic political coverage sat speechless after Thomas’ comment as the...
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Arizona Police Waterboard Shakira

PHOENIX, ARIZONA – Phoenix Police Chief Jack Harris confirmed today that Phoenix police officers have detained international singing sensation, Shakira. Sheriff Deputies pulled over Shakira’s limousine en route to Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. Witnesses say that Shakira was shocked when the police politely asked her to remove herself from the limousine and produce documents...
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Naomi Campbell Beats Herself Unconscious at New York Airport

NEW YORK – Naomi Campbell was arrested at JFK International Airport Thursday night by Port Authority Police and transported to an undisclosed medical facility where she was handcuffed to her hospital bed. Miss Campbell is being charged with aggravated assault, verbal intimidation and disorderly conduct. Criminal defense attorney Nigel Nottingham reassured Miss Campbell’s fans...
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Oprah’s Childhood Cockroach Friends Found Alive in Mississippi

KOSCIUSKO, MISSISSIPPI – For many years Oprah Winfrey has told the story of being so lonely as a poor child growing up in the south that she made friends with two cockroaches and named them Melinda and Sandy. In a startling turn of events, Oprah Winfrey producers announced today that Melinda and Sandy were...
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