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Obama Chastises First Lady Over Unsightly Panty Lines

Obama Chastises First Lady Over Unsightly Panty Lines

WASHINGTON – In a rare display of harsh criticism, President Obama lambasted First Lady Michelle Obama as she and the presidential children were preparing to board Air Force One. When the President first arrived on the tarmac he was all smiles as he waved to press members and staff that had gathered to see...
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NY Times Calls Obama Bicycle Photos ‘Rugged Masculinity Gone Wild!’

NY Times Calls Obama Bicycle Photos ‘Rugged Masculinity Gone Wild!’

NEW YORK – In an editorial earlier this week the New York Times gushed over photographs of President Obama riding his bicycle at Martha’s Vinyard, at one point exclaiming the president was “an example of rugged masculinity gone wild!” The newspaper derided critics of the president, even suggesting that John Boehner and Karl Rove...
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Obama Welcomes America’s First Transgender Baby to White House

WASHINGTON – This afternoon top administration officials and celebrities joined President and Mrs. Obama in welcoming America’s first transgender baby to the White House. Eleven-month-old Hillary Rodham Carter is the youngest transgender to meet officially with a U.S. president. The president hosted a gender-neutral luncheon for the adorable transgender tot and its parents with...
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President Obama Awards Himself the Presidential Medal of Freedom

WASHINGTON – On Wednesday President Obama presented awards to seventeen honorees of the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The medal is the nation’s highest civilian honor, awarded for meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors. After introducing...
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President Obama and North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Un in Twitter Feud

WASHINGTON – Early this morning North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un took to his Twitter account and began a rash of disparaging taunts directed at President Barack Obama. After a year of clownish bravado from the young dictator that included nuclear threats, few were surprised that he would attempt to provoke the president with denigrating...
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O. J. Simpson Endorses Hillary Clinton

LOVELOCK, NEVADA – This morning Al Sharpton interviewed O. J. Simpson at the Lovelock prison in Nevada where Simpson is serving up to 33 years for robbing a man in a Las Vegas hotel. Following is the transcript of the interview that will air Sunday morning on MSNBC’s PoliticsNation. AL SHARPTON:  Thank you for...
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Megyn Kelly Assaults Michelle Fields on Fox News

Michelle Fields, the woman who accused Donald Trump’s campaign manager of assaulting her, appeared on the Fox News channel today with host Megyn Kelly where she revealed for the first time the gruesome severity of her injuries. Following is a transcript of that interview which airs tonight on The Kelly File at 10:00 pm...
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Al Gore: ‘Global Warming Will Cause Millions of People’s Heads to Explode’

NEW YORK –  Former Vice President Al Gore issued a joint statement with the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) this morning warning that unless drastic measures are taken this year to curb global warming, millions of people’s heads are going to explode. Speaking to U.N. delegates at the One World Economic Forum, Gore...
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School Principal’s Head Mysteriously Tattooed During Drunken Blackout

School Principal’s Head Mysteriously Tattooed During Drunken Blackout

The last thing I remember is standing in my socks on the soggy bank of a lake arguing with a disgruntled midget. – School Principal Bertrand Calhoun Luedecking Jr. FOUNTAIN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA – An elementary school principal is causing quite a stir in this southern California city after showing up to work last week...
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Nancy Pelosi Urges Redskins Owner to Change Name to Washington Potatoes

WASHINGTON – Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi met with senior citizens today at the End of the Rainbow nursing home where she spoke out against white privilege and the war on women. She also spoke passionately about gender neutral bathrooms in grade schools. At the conclusion of her speech Pelosi abruptly switched gears when she called...
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