SAN FRANCISCO – Representatives for the McDonald’s Corporation met with members of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors yesterday hoping to settle their dispute over the sale of Happy Meals in San Francisco. Last week the Board of Supervisors voted to pass a law severely curtailing the practice of giving away toys with meals...
Read Story »
GLENDALE, CALIFORNIA – The much anticipated debut of MTV’s “I’m Thirteen and I Have Gonorrhea” is scheduled to air this summer on Sunday Nights. After the heralded success of “16 and Pregnant,” MTV hopes to capitalize on what it considers the fastest growing demographic in America – dysfunctional families who are eager to air...
Read Story »
New York – A study just released by Columbia University shows that a vast majority of the people who wear Crocs shoes lack enthusiasm, don’t look forward to anything, are unimaginative and don’t have anything worthwhile to say. The study also found that women who wear Crocs shoes routinely disregard shaving their underarms and...
Read Story »
VATICAN CITY – In a somewhat startling turn of events today, Reverend Al Sharpton managed to obtain approval from the Vatican to interview Pope Francis for PoliticsNation, the news show he hosts on MSNBC. Mr. Sharpton spoke with the new pope for several minutes inside the Papal Palace. Following is a transcript of their...
Read Story »
NASHVILLE – Former Vice President Al Gore lashed out at the Vatican this morning, calling the tradition of releasing smoke into the atmosphere during papal conclave voting “fundamentally negligent” and “grossly inappropriate.” He also questioned the morality behind using what he called the “ancient pagan ritual of carbon emissions worship” in order to advance...
Read Story »
NEW YORK – In an editorial on Monday the New York Times gushed over photographs of President Obama riding his bicycle, at one point exclaiming the president was “an example of rugged masculinity gone wild!” The newspaper derided critics of the president, even suggesting that John Boehner and Karl Rove try competing with him...
Read Story »
WASHINGTON – At last night’s White House state dinner honoring former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry, Vice President Biden managed to ignite a bit of a firestorm during his address to the honoree and distinguished guests. After thanking Mayor Barry for his public service and congratulating him on his many accomplishments, the vice president strayed...
Read Story »
NEW YORK – Macy’s department store has fired yet another Santa Claus employee for being drunk at their Herald Square location in Manhattan, their fifth Santa termination since November 25th. A spokesperson for Macy’s said that two other Santas have been suspended without pay for three days and another was issued a verbal warning,...
Read Story »
WASHINGTON – A high level source inside the White House alleges that last weekend CIA operatives waterboarded Nakoula Basseley Nakoulathe, the film producer of the anti-Islam movie the Obama administration blames for the recent violence in the Middle East. The source claims that late Saturday night President Obama had a lengthy phone conversation with...
Read Story »
COLORADO – ABC News announced today that Barbara Walters has landed the first interview with the 3-month-old victim of Thursday night’s tragic movie theater shooting in Colorado. The baby was released from the hospital in good shape Friday afternoon with doctors saying the child’s injuries were not life threatening. The parents of the infant...
Read Story »
