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Ground Zero Mosque to Include Jihad Fantasy Camp for Kids

Ground Zero Mosque to Include Jihad Fantasy Camp for Kids

NEW YORK – In what the New York Times is calling “a bear-hug of openness and transparency,” project organizers for the Ground Zero Mosque announced yesterday the inclusion of a “Jihad Fantasy Camp for Kids” at the future lower Manhattan facility. Organizers said that the camp would be a “learning bridge between east and...
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Coach Jimmy Johnson Working Overtime to Enlarge Your Penis

Coach Jimmy Johnson Working Overtime to Enlarge Your Penis

MIAMI, FLORIDA – Former NFL coach Jimmy Johnson is a man with a mission. His obsession with completing that mission is so consuming that it overshadows the glory and grandeur of his former college and professional football coaching days. His desire so strong and powerful, he only sleeps three hours a night before he...
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Obama: You Could Be Burning In The Flames of Hell!

Obama: You Could Be Burning In The Flames of Hell!

WASHINGTON D.C. – President Obama chided a reporter this afternoon in the Rose Garden after being asked how much worse things are expected to get. The reporter was referring to unemployment and the number of jobs lost in July. The president sighed and then admonished the reporter. “Do you know how bad things could...
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Doctors Warn Frank Sinatra Jr. He’s Going to Explode

Doctors Warn Frank Sinatra Jr. He’s Going to Explode

ATLANTIC CITY – According to his friends and relatives, Frank Sinatra Jr. is getting his house in order. As his neighbors peer nervously through drawn curtains, gawking motorists slow to a crawl in front of the singer’s home with hopes of catching a glimpse of Frank Sinatra’s only son. According to his gardener, ever...
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In Her Bid to Remain Speaker of the House, Pelosi Switches Parties

In Her Bid to Remain Speaker of the House, Pelosi Switches Parties

WASHINGTON – After weeks of Internet rumors of her impending retirement if Democrats lose the House majority, Nancy Pelosi stunned a crowd of admirers last night when she announced that she is switching to the Republican party. A source high-up in the Pelosi staff told The Daily Rash that Nancy Pelosi is a “street...
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Chaz Bono Suspected of Being Mafia Crime Boss

Chaz Bono Suspected of Being Mafia Crime Boss

LAS VEGAS – A confidential source says the FBI is investigating Chaz Bono, daughter of entertainers Sonny and Cher, for alleged connections to organized crime. The source said that Bono may hold a high position of power in the chain of command that comprises the families that rule organized crime in America. The source...
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Mel Gibson Tells Tyra Banks: ‘Some of My Best Friends Are Niggers’

NEW YORK – In an exclusive interview on 60 Minutes Sunday night, Hollywood superstar Mel Gibson told host Tyra Banks that his past racial slurs about black people were taken out of context. Fighting to hold back emotion, Gibson came across as a man desperate for redemption and understanding. With her usual tact and...
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Obama Fires Petraeus, Gary Busey to Lead War in Afghanistan

WASHINGTON – After firing Stanley McChrystal and announcing at a White House press conference that he would be replacing him with General David Petraeus, President Obama retracted his statements an hour later on the Nancy Grace Show, saying he was instead going to nominate Gary Busey to replace Petraeus, who’d just replaced McChrystal. President...
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Death Toll Climbs as Los Angeles Celebrates Lakers

LOS ANGELES – As the bodies pile up at the city morgue and inner city alleyways, the residents of Los Angeles continue to celebrate their Lakers’ victory in the NBA championship against the Boston Celtics. Several cars continued to smolder as the sun rose following a night of raucous partying by a city that...
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Al Gore Addicted to Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE – Tipper Gore broke her silence this week and opened up about her divorce from former Vice President Al Gore. In an interview with Vibe magazine, Tipper shocked many people close to the family when she disclosed startling details of Al Gore’s predilection for kinky sex. According to the article, husband Al’s...
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