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Chaz Bono Suspected of Being Mafia Crime Boss

Chaz Bono Suspected of Being Mafia Crime Boss

LAS VEGAS – A confidential source says the FBI is investigating Chaz Bono, daughter of entertainers Sonny and Cher, for alleged connections to organized crime. The source said that Bono may hold a high position of power in the chain of command that comprises the families that rule organized crime in America. The source...
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Mel Gibson Tells Tyra Banks: ‘Some of My Best Friends Are Niggers’

NEW YORK – In an exclusive interview on 60 Minutes Sunday night, Hollywood superstar Mel Gibson told host Tyra Banks that his past racial slurs about black people were taken out of context. Fighting to hold back emotion, Gibson came across as a man desperate for redemption and understanding. With her usual tact and...
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Obama Fires Petraeus, Gary Busey to Lead War in Afghanistan

WASHINGTON – After firing Stanley McChrystal and announcing at a White House press conference that he would be replacing him with General David Petraeus, President Obama retracted his statements an hour later on the Nancy Grace Show, saying he was instead going to nominate Gary Busey to replace Petraeus, who’d just replaced McChrystal. President...
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Death Toll Climbs as Los Angeles Celebrates Lakers

LOS ANGELES – As the bodies pile up at the city morgue and inner city alleyways, the residents of Los Angeles continue to celebrate their Lakers’ victory in the NBA championship against the Boston Celtics. Several cars continued to smolder as the sun rose following a night of raucous partying by a city that...
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Helen Thomas Confesses to Tyra Banks: ‘I Made Out With Hitler’

WASHINGTON, DC – In a shocking revelation during her 2010 appearance on 60 Minutes, former White House correspondent Helen Thomas told Tyra Banks that she once “made out” with Adolf Hitler. Tyra Banks, who’d recently been hired by 60 Minutes to handle foreign and domestic political coverage sat speechless after Thomas’ comment as the...
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7-Eleven Offers Prostate Exam with Slurpee and Chili Dog Purchase

DALLAS – Top executives at 7-Eleven announced today that the company plans to implement prostate examinations into its ever growing menu of services. Speaking to a large group of 7-Eleven employees, senior director of sales Gilbert Mann expressed his excitement about adding prostate exams in five million 7-Eleven stores by August. The response from...
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Obama Picks Personal Injury Lawyer for Supreme Court

WASHINGTON, DC – The White House announced this morning that President Obama has changed his mind and decided against Elena Kagan as his choice to replace John Paul Stevens as Supreme Court Justice. Although it was announced yesterday that the president had chosen Kagan, administration insiders say that the president did a complete about-face...
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Family Refused to Allow Gulf Oil Spill Ruin Beach Vacation

GULF OF MEXICO – After a fun filled day of snorkeling and water skiing in the Gulf of Mexico, the Dunlap family was exhausted. Herb and Stella Dunlap almost canceled their beach vacation in 2010 after the large oil spill in the Gulf. After family and friends warned that it might be too dangerous...
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Arizona Police Waterboard Shakira

PHOENIX, ARIZONA – Phoenix Police Chief Jack Harris confirmed today that Phoenix police officers have detained international singing sensation, Shakira. Sheriff Deputies pulled over Shakira’s limousine en route to Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. Witnesses say that Shakira was shocked when the police politely asked her to remove herself from the limousine and produce documents...
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Naomi Campbell Beats Herself Unconscious at New York Airport

NEW YORK – Naomi Campbell was arrested at JFK International Airport Thursday night by Port Authority Police and transported to an undisclosed medical facility where she was handcuffed to her hospital bed. Miss Campbell is being charged with aggravated assault, verbal intimidation and disorderly conduct. Criminal defense attorney Nigel Nottingham reassured Miss Campbell’s fans...
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