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Brian Williams Apologizes to Reverend Al Sharpton for Misremembering

This afternoon Brian Williams sat down with Rev. Al Sharpton for his first interview since NBC suspended him for fabricating stories. Following is the transcript of that conversation that can be seen tonight on Sharpton’s show, PoliticsNation, at 6:00 pm on MSNBC. AL SHARPTON: Welcome to my show on MSNBC where I host. BRIAN...
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Michelle Obama Proposes Slaughtering Obese Children

LAS VEGAS – This weekend First Lady Michelle Obama spoke at a gathering of physicians and nutritionists at a Childhood Obesity forum at the Bellagio hotel. Sporting a sleeveless garment that allowed her toned arms to mesmerize awestruck attendees, the first lady regaled her admirers as physically fit waitstaff served healthy hors d’oeuvres and...
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Sting Admits to Decades Long Love Affair with Himself

LOS ANGELES – International rock star and celebrity Gordon Sumner, better known around the world as Sting, admitted on the Tyra Banks Show last week that for the past twenty-five years he’s been having an affair with himself. Audience members gasped, some even running from the studio holding their stomachs. One woman said that...
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Hillary Clinton Says Nazi Salute at Book Signing Was Just a Silly Joke

MARTHA’S VINEYARD – At a crowded book signing yesterday former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton was photographed doing a Nazi salute as she and several women around her laugh. When Mrs. Clinton was asked about the photograph after it went viral she laughed and said her Nazi salute was “just a silly joke.” This...
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Hillary Clinton Dodges Gang Gunfire En-Route to Los Angeles Book Signing

LOS ANGELES – Upon arriving to the signing event for her new book “Hard Choices” at a Century City bookstore this morning, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and daughter Chelsea found themselves caught in the middle of a gang war and were forced to run with their heads down in an effort to...
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Joe Biden Knocks Toddler Unconscious During White House Easter Egg Hunt

Joe Biden Knocks Toddler Unconscious During White House Easter Egg Hunt

WASHINGTON – The fun and frolic of the annual White House Easter Egg Hunt was cut short Monday morning after a four year-old girl was knocked unconscious by Vice President Biden. The little girl has been identified as Brittany Rosa Parks Vanderbilt, the daughter of top Obama campaign donors, Brice and Zoe Vanderbilt. White...
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MSNBC Commentators Fawn Over Michelle Obama’s Buttocks

In the final moments of taping his show on MSNBC today, Chris Matthews invited several of the network’s commentators to pay tribute to Michelle Obama. Following is a transcript of that discussion which will air tonight on MSNBC. CHRIS MATTHEWS:  A couple of weeks ago the remarkable Michelle Obama celebrated her 50th birthday. I...
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Chris Christie’s Staff Blames Bridge Closing on Anti-Islam Video

TRENTON – This afternoon staff members loyal to New Jersey Governor Chris Christie alleged that the September closing of traffic lanes leading to the George Washington bridge was the result of a spontaneous reaction to an anti-Islam YouTube video. Although Gov. Christie has apologized for “unwittingly” misleading the public, calling the bridge closing “embarrassing...
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Obama Appoints Reverend Al Sharpton Global Warming Czar

WASHINGTON – During this morning’s White House briefing Jay Carney confirmed President Obama will appoint Al Sharpton to be the administration’s new Global Warming Czar. Carney said the president was astonished at the scientific brilliance Sharpton displayed when he explained man-made climate change earlier this week on MSNBC. “The president happened to tune into...
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John Kerry Enters Rehab After White House Stages Botox Intervention

WASHINGTON – This morning the White House acknowledged that President Obama invited John Kerry to Thanksgiving dinner last week in order to stage an intervention. Earlier in the week Obama met with several members of his administration to discuss Secretary Kerry’s Botox usage. After a lengthy discussion, the decision to stage an intervention was...
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