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Chris Matthews Unveils Photograph of Republican Racial Code Book

NEW YORK – This afternoon on MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Matthews, host Chris Matthews revealed a photograph of what he claims is the book that contains Republican racial code words. The photograph shows an old and worn leather bound book that appears to have several hundred pages. Matthews said the photograph was sent to...
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Todd Akin Pledges to Double Rapists’ Child Support Payments

ST. LOUIS – In an effort to gain support from Missouri voters who might be uneasy with his recent comments about rape and abortion, Congressman Todd Akin told a group of senior citizens at the One Way Ticket nursing home this afternoon that his first priority as a U. S. senator would be to...
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Nancy Pelosi Says She Probably Won’t Watch Romney Sex Tape

WASHINGTON – House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi came to the defense of Senator Harry Reid on Monday over his comments about the existence of a Mitt Romney sex tape. Early last week Reid outraged many Republicans with his remarks that he’d been told the GOP presidential candidate didn’t pay taxes for 10 years, without...
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Harry Reid: ‘Bain Investor Told Me There’s a Mitt Romney Sex Tape’

Harry Reid: ‘Bain Investor Told Me There’s a Mitt Romney Sex Tape’

WASHINGTON – In an interview with The Huffington Post, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said a Bain Capital investor told him that Mitt Romney wasn’t releasing his tax records because for ten years he didn’t pay a dime in taxes. This afternoon, less than 48 hours since the accusation, Senator Reid told The Daily...
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Boston Mayor Claims Fight Against Chick-fil-A Prevented Homosexual Holocaust

BOSTON – According to members of his staff, when Mayor Thomas Menino was told that the president of Chick-Fil-A restaurants did not support gay marriage, he knew the citizens of Boston would expect him to act. Although the rest of the nation is slowly beginning to accept the idea of gay marriage, Boston is...
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Barbara Walters Lands First Interview with 3-Month-Old Colorado Shooting Victim

Barbara Walters Lands First Interview with 3-Month-Old Colorado Shooting Victim

COLORADO – ABC News announced today that Barbara Walters has landed the first interview with the 3-month-old victim of last year’s tragic movie theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado. The baby was released from the hospital in good shape the day after the shootings with doctors saying the child’s injuries were not life threatening. The...
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Obama Makes Surprise Appearance on The Jerry Springer Show

Obama Makes Surprise Appearance on The Jerry Springer Show

CINCINNATI – Before taking the stage Monday at the Cincinnati Music Hall ballroom, President Obama met backstage with supporters, including TV talk show host Jerry Springer. Afterwards, Springer called the president “truly exceptional” and gushed about his competence and intelligence. He questioned why anyone wouldn’t want four more years of an Obama administration and...
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Obama Campaign Accuses Romney of Holding Up Boston Gas Station

Obama Campaign Accuses Romney of Holding Up Boston Gas Station

WASHINGTON – After a week of assertions that Mitt Romney committed a felony with regard to his leadership role at Bain Capital, the Obama campaign is now alleging he may have been involved in a spree of Boston gas station robberies in 1999. Though the campaign is careful not to directly state that Romney...
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NAACP Endorses Mitt Romney!

HOUSTON – This afternoon, just days after its members booed him as he addressed their convention, the NAACP announced their endorsement of Mitt Romney for president. After receiving the news Mr. Romney returned to the convention where hundreds of jubilant African Americans welcomed him with chants of Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! The Republican candidate...
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Mayor Bloomberg’s Impassioned Crusade for Mandatory Breastfeeding

NEW YORK – New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced today that women who forgo the popular option of an abortion and instead choose to give birth will be aggressively persuaded by government officials to breastfeed their babies. The mayor has ordered hospitals to put baby formula under lock-down and to only provide it...
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