News

Barbara Walters Lands First Interview with 3-Month-Old Colorado Shooting Victim

Barbara Walters Lands First Interview with 3-Month-Old Colorado Shooting Victim

COLORADO – ABC News announced today that Barbara Walters has landed the first interview with the 3-month-old victim of last year’s tragic movie theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado. The baby was released from the hospital in good shape the day after the shootings with doctors saying the child’s injuries were not life threatening. The...
Read Story »

Obama Makes Surprise Appearance on The Jerry Springer Show

Obama Makes Surprise Appearance on The Jerry Springer Show

CINCINNATI – Before taking the stage Monday at the Cincinnati Music Hall ballroom, President Obama met backstage with supporters, including TV talk show host Jerry Springer. Afterwards, Springer called the president “truly exceptional” and gushed about his competence and intelligence. He questioned why anyone wouldn’t want four more years of an Obama administration and...
Read Story »

Obama Campaign Accuses Romney of Holding Up Boston Gas Station

Obama Campaign Accuses Romney of Holding Up Boston Gas Station

WASHINGTON – After a week of assertions that Mitt Romney committed a felony with regard to his leadership role at Bain Capital, the Obama campaign is now alleging he may have been involved in a spree of Boston gas station robberies in 1999. Though the campaign is careful not to directly state that Romney...
Read Story »

NAACP Endorses Mitt Romney!

HOUSTON – This afternoon, just days after its members booed him as he addressed their convention, the NAACP announced their endorsement of Mitt Romney for president. After receiving the news Mr. Romney returned to the convention where hundreds of jubilant African Americans welcomed him with chants of Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! The Republican candidate...
Read Story »

Mayor Bloomberg’s Impassioned Crusade for Mandatory Breastfeeding

NEW YORK – New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced today that women who forgo the popular option of an abortion and instead choose to give birth will be aggressively persuaded by government officials to breastfeed their babies. The mayor has ordered hospitals to put baby formula under lock-down and to only provide it...
Read Story »

President Obama Vows to Repeal Health Care Law

President Obama Vows to Repeal Health Care Law

BEVERLY HILLS – At a fundraising dinner last night in the home of Kim Kardashian, President Obama made the surprising announcement that he’ll repeal the health care law if he’s re-elected. Initially Democratic strategists and pundits were startled to hear the news but within a short time the majority of them were appearing on...
Read Story »

Meteorologist Rosie O’Donnell Says Deadly Tornadoes Caused by Global Warming

Meteorologist Rosie O’Donnell Says Deadly Tornadoes Caused by Global Warming

NEW YORK – Internationally famous meteorologist and comedian, Rosie O’Donnell, has determined that global warming is the culprit behind last week’s deadly tornadoes. O’Donnell shared the results of her research during an interview on NPR this morning, confirming what other celebrity scientists have been warning about for quite some time. “Miss O’Donnell is in...
Read Story »

Cybill Shepherd Willing to Die Protesting the War On Women

Cybill Shepherd Willing to Die Protesting the War On Women

NEW YORK – A defiant Cybill Shepherd shocked “CBS This Morning” television viewers Friday when she announced she would not be wearing a bulletproof vest when she marches on Washington to protest the war on women. Stunned viewers sat open mouthed, some admitted weeping while others sought counsel from clergy. One woman has already...
Read Story »

New Black Panthers Use Zimmerman Bounty For Trip To Disney World

New Black Panthers Use Zimmerman Bounty For Trip To Disney World

SANFORD, FLA – After George Zimmerman was arrested in April of last year for the murder of Trayvon Martin, the New Black Panther Party placed a $10,000 bounty on his head. This afternoon the group announced they’ve retracted the bounty and will instead use the money for a trip to Disney World. Black Panther...
Read Story »

Al Sharpton Interviews Pilot of Navy Jet That Crashed Into Apartment Building

Al Sharpton Interviews Pilot of Navy Jet That Crashed Into Apartment Building

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA – One of the two pilots of the Navy F-18 jet that crashed into a Virginia apartment building last April appeared on MSNBC’s Politics Nation with host Al Sharpton. The pilots were able to eject from the aircraft before it crashed into the apartment complex engulfing several buildings in flames. During...
Read Story »