News

NAACP Endorses Mitt Romney!

HOUSTON – This afternoon, just days after its members booed him as he addressed their convention, the NAACP announced their endorsement of Mitt Romney for president. After receiving the news Mr. Romney returned to the convention where hundreds of jubilant African Americans welcomed him with chants of Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! The Republican candidate...
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Mayor Bloomberg’s Impassioned Crusade for Mandatory Breastfeeding

NEW YORK – New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg announced today that women who forgo the popular option of an abortion and instead choose to give birth will be aggressively persuaded by government officials to breastfeed their babies. The mayor has ordered hospitals to put baby formula under lock-down and to only provide it...
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President Obama Vows to Repeal Health Care Law

President Obama Vows to Repeal Health Care Law

BEVERLY HILLS – At a fundraising dinner last night in the home of Kim Kardashian, President Obama made the surprising announcement that he’ll repeal the health care law if he’s re-elected. Initially Democratic strategists and pundits were startled to hear the news but within a short time the majority of them were appearing on...
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Meteorologist Rosie O’Donnell Says Deadly Tornadoes Caused by Global Warming

Meteorologist Rosie O’Donnell Says Deadly Tornadoes Caused by Global Warming

NEW YORK – Internationally famous meteorologist and comedian, Rosie O’Donnell, has determined that global warming is the culprit behind last week’s deadly tornadoes. O’Donnell shared the results of her research during an interview on NPR this morning, confirming what other celebrity scientists have been warning about for quite some time. “Miss O’Donnell is in...
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Cybill Shepherd Willing to Die Protesting the War On Women

Cybill Shepherd Willing to Die Protesting the War On Women

NEW YORK – A defiant Cybill Shepherd shocked “CBS This Morning” television viewers Friday when she announced she would not be wearing a bulletproof vest when she marches on Washington to protest the war on women. Stunned viewers sat open mouthed, some admitted weeping while others sought counsel from clergy. One woman has already...
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New Black Panthers Use Zimmerman Bounty For Trip To Disney World

New Black Panthers Use Zimmerman Bounty For Trip To Disney World

SANFORD, FLA – After George Zimmerman was arrested in April of last year for the murder of Trayvon Martin, the New Black Panther Party placed a $10,000 bounty on his head. This afternoon the group announced they’ve retracted the bounty and will instead use the money for a trip to Disney World. Black Panther...
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Al Sharpton Interviews Pilot of Navy Jet That Crashed Into Apartment Building

Al Sharpton Interviews Pilot of Navy Jet That Crashed Into Apartment Building

VIRGINIA BEACH, VA – One of the two pilots of the Navy F-18 jet that crashed into a Virginia apartment building last April appeared on MSNBC’s Politics Nation with host Al Sharpton. The pilots were able to eject from the aircraft before it crashed into the apartment complex engulfing several buildings in flames. During...
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Gingrich Raised Additional Campaign Cash with Yard Sale

Gingrich Raised Additional Campaign Cash with Yard Sale

McLEAN, VIRGINIA – In what appears to be a last ditch effort to resuscitate his presidential aspirations, Newt Gingrich announced that he will have a yard sale next weekend in order to raise additional revenue for his floundering political campaign. Sources inside the Gingrich camp have expressed concern that the Republican candidate’s refusal to...
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Sandra Fluke: I Was Having Sex When President Obama Called Me

Sandra Fluke:  I Was Having Sex When President Obama Called Me

Just a week ago Georgetown University student Sandra Fluke was a normal thirty year-old law student grappling with the daily troubles of being a young woman in today’s complicated world. Sandra was pulling all-nighters cramming for exams, attending meetings for Law Students for Reproductive Justice, going to movies, partying with friends and somehow, finding...
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Rick Santorum Performs Exorcism in Walmart Parking Lot

Rick Santorum Performs Exorcism in Walmart Parking Lot

CHICAGO – In February of 2012, following his speech to a group of supporters in the parking lot of a Walmart Super Center yesterday, former Republican presidential candidate Rick Santorum performed an exorcism on a woman in the back of a van. Santorum staff members confirmed the former senator liberated a woman from the...
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