Politics

Biden Says Department of Homeland Security Crawling with Lesbians

WASHINGTON – With the demonstrations and subsequent military coup in Egypt drawing the bulk of the media’s attention this week, reports that a senior official at the Department of Homeland Security had resigned Saturday amid accusations of employment discrimination and sexual harassment were overlooked by the majority of news agencies. The official, Suzanne Barr,...
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Obama Chastises First Lady Over Unsightly Panty Lines

Obama Chastises First Lady Over Unsightly Panty Lines

WASHINGTON – In a rare display of harsh criticism, President Obama lambasted First Lady Michelle Obama as she and the presidential children were preparing to board Air Force One. When the President first arrived on the tarmac he was all smiles as he waved to press members and staff that had gathered to see...
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President Obama Awards Himself the Presidential Medal of Freedom

WASHINGTON – On Wednesday President Obama presented awards to seventeen honorees of the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The medal is the nation’s highest civilian honor, awarded for meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors. After introducing...
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Hillary Fundraiser to Auction the Cigar Bill Clinton Used on Monica Lewinsky

WASHINGTON – Hillary Clinton’s top aide Huma Abedin confirmed this morning that former President Bill Clinton will auction off the cigar that he used on Monica Lewinsky in the Oval Office in 1996. The auction will be held this Saturday at the Malibu home of Barbra Streisand who is hosting a fundraiser for Hillary...
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Al Gore: ‘Global Warming Will Cause Millions of People’s Heads to Explode’

NEW YORK –  Former Vice President Al Gore issued a joint statement with the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) this morning warning that unless drastic measures are taken this year to curb global warming, millions of people’s heads are going to explode. Speaking to U.N. delegates at the One World Economic Forum, Gore...
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Hillary Clinton Says Chelsea Erased Servers During Postpartum Depression

This afternoon Democratic presidential frontrunner, Hillary Clinton, appeared on MSNBC’s Hardball with host Chris Matthews to discuss the missing emails from her time as Secretary of State. Following is a transcript of that interview which airs at 6 pm tonight on MSNBC. CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Thank you for joining us today Madam Secretary. I also...
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Joe Biden Talks About the Pain of Birth in Confusing Labor Day Speech

PITTSBURGH — Joe Biden may not have announced his decision to run for president in his Labor Day speech to union workers on Monday, but the raucous applause and enthusiasm he received is more commonly reserved for presidential candidates, not second term vice presidents. As Biden stood on the stage soaking in the adoration...
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Nancy Pelosi Urges Redskins Owner to Change Name to Washington Potatoes

WASHINGTON – Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi met with senior citizens today at the End of the Rainbow nursing home where she spoke out against white privilege and the war on women. She also spoke passionately about gender neutral bathrooms in grade schools. At the conclusion of her speech Pelosi abruptly switched gears when she called...
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Joe Biden Calls Hillary Clinton the Yoko Ono of Politics

WASHINGTON  – After speaking to a group of seniors about shotgun ownership and voting rights at the Last Train to Clarksville nursing home in Bethesda this afternoon, Vice President Joe Biden appeared on MSNBC’s PoliticsNation with host, Al Sharpton. Sharpton asked the vice president pointed questions about Hillary Clinton, Biden’s own presidential aspirations and...
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Hillary Clinton Meltdown: “This Was Supposed to be the Summer of Hillary!”

CEDAR RAPIDS – After enjoying a slice of mincemeat pie and coffee with local residents at the Wood-Knot diner this afternoon, Hillary Clinton appeared disappointed at the small number of reporters and cameras waiting for her outside the diner. As she waved to a passing car that honked several times, the former secretary of...
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