JUNIPER ISLAND, FL – Over the weekend, Vice President Al Gore postponed a lucrative trip to Copenhagen so he might convince golf impresario Tiger Woods to confess to him. Gore told reporters that at this point in his life, a confession from Tiger Woods would be “even more important” to him than the global...
Read Story »
NEW YORK, NY – Former President Jimmy Carter was arraigned this morning in New York City Superior Court. He was charged with public intoxication, lewd and lascivious conduct, possession of cocaine, marijuana and authorities found enough XTC tabs to warrant distribution charges. He was also charged with resisting arrest. In the predawn raid FBI...
Read Story »
CRAWDAD, ALABAMA – In this small southern town of six hundred and thirteen inhabitants… there is a buzz on the streets. There are wide eyes and whispers in the line at the Piggly Wiggly. Dwayne’s Bait and Tackle saw people still lingering around the worm cooler well past eight last evening. Bobbie’s Bobby Pin,...
Read Story »
WASHINGTON – Vice President Joe Biden told seniors yesterday that yes, if necessary, the President would “drop the A-bomb” to guarantee the end of nuclear proliferation throughout the world. One of the five seniors present began gasping and had to have her oxygen tank refilled. The others were concentrating on their bingo game and...
Read Story »
Al Gore told MSNBC’s Chris Matthews that prior to divorcing his wife Tipper, he was ordained a Catholic priest. He said that he plans to spend the rest of his life “listening to confessions before the impending global warming apocalypse kills everyone on the planet.” When Matthews asked him why he chose the priesthood,...
Read Story »
Baghdad – An Iraqi parliament spokesperson, Ali Chaliphonific Achlac Mesopotamian-Nightmare, was interrupted mid-way through an anti-smoking speech yesterday when an explosion half a block away sent a human leg flying just inches above his head. Mr. Nightmare was in the middle of a passionate speech regarding the implementation of strict new anti-smoking laws in...
Read Story »
In a small southern town that has no black inhabitants Reverend Jesse Jackson spoke out against black people today at the grand opening of a brand new Staples store. Talking to a group of reporters in the Staples parking lot, Jackson accused black Americans of playing the victim card and scolded them for not...
Read Story »
NEW YORK – An onlooker with a cell phone captured what appears to be Al Sharpton looking on… as Al Sharpton talked to poor people in New York about rising up against the man. It appears in the photograph that there are two Al Sharptons. When asked afterwards about the oddity, Mr. Sharpton said...
Read Story »
WASHINGTON – After weeks of Internet rumors of her impending retirement if Democrats lose the House majority, Nancy Pelosi stunned a crowd of admirers last night when she announced that she is switching to the Republican party. A source high-up in the Pelosi staff told The Daily Rash that Nancy Pelosi is a “street...
Read Story »
