Black Caucus Wants Hangings by Tea Party Members to be a Hate Crime

WASHINGTON – Outraged by the growing number of black people being lynched by Tea Party members of Congress, the Congressional Black Caucus introduced a bill that will make it a hate crime when someone hangs an African American. Caucus members Hank Johnson (D-Ga), Shelia Jackson Lee (D- Tx), Maxine Waters (D- Ca) and Andre Carson (D-In) spoke with Maury Povich on his Emmy award winning show yesterday. Following is a transcript of that interview.

MAURY POVICH:  I want to welcome our distinguished guests, all of whom are members of the Congressional Black Caucus. Let me begin with you, Congressman Carson.

ANDRE CARSON:  A pleasure to be here, Maury.

MAURY POVICH:  You recently said that fellow members of Congress who represent the Tea Party see black people as second class citizens, that they’d love to see you hanging from trees?

ANDRE CARSON:  Yes, I did, Maury. And sadly I’m here today to inform the American people that the hangings have already begun.

MAURY POVICH:  Oh Lord no!

Rep. Andre Carson (D) Indiana

ANDRE CARSON:  Oh yes!  And we, the members of the Congressional Black Caucus, are determined to put an end to it.


MAURY POVICH:  Where are these hangings taking place?

ANDRE CARSON:  If we knew where they were taking place, believe you me, the Congressional Black Caucus would drive out to that location and cut the lynchee down!

HANK JOHNSON:  Yup! Cut him right down.

SHEILA JACKSON LEE:  I could hold his feet while the rest of you cut him down.

ANDRE CARSON:  That’s quick thinking, Shelia. Keep him from strangulating.

HANK JOHNSON:  Damn fast thinkin’ that was!

MAXINE WATERS:  I am no one… I am no one…. fear the priest, Maury!

MAURY POVICH: (glances at Rep. Waters curiously) Congressman, you along with other black members of congress asserted that during the health care bill debates Tea Party members spit on you, called you the N word and that you were hit in the head with a hunk of ham.

ANDRE CARSON:  That’s correct, Maury. Spittle and the N word hovered over us that day like a treacherous dark cloud from the horrible era of slavery. And yes, I was hit in the head with a hunk of ham.

HANK JOHNSON:  Baked ham?

Rep. Hank Johnson (D) Georgia


HANK JOHNSON:  I like me some baked ham with honey glaze…..mmm – mmm!


MAURY POVICH: (looks at Rep. Waters startlingly) But thus far there’s never been any video or audio evidence of anyone spitting or calling you the N word, sir. Even Secret Service agents have said they did not see or hear what you claim happened.

SHEILA JACKSON LEE:  Well I heard them!

HANK JOHNSON:  Yup, she heard ’em!

MAURY POVICH:  You weren’t even there, Congresswoman Lee!

SHEILA JACKSON LEE:  Just cause I wasn’t there doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

ANDRE CARSON:  And just because there’s no evidence doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Tell me Maury, do you have any evidence that Elvis wasn’t a pedophile?


MAXINE WATERS:  There seems to be an alien pubic hair in my gin.

MAURY POVICH:  (glances at Rep. Waters cautiously) Who was hanged by Tea Party members of congress?

Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D) Texas

ANDRE CARSON:  Black people, that’s who!


MAURY POVICH:  But who are they?!

ANDRE CARSON:  That’s what we aim to find out. And when we find out, believe you me, it’s going to be a hate crime this time around.

SHEILA JACKSON LEE:  As it should be. Lord have mercy!

HANK JOHNSON:  Darned tootin’!

MAXINE WATERS:  FOX News anchors suck c*cks in Hell!

MAURY POVICH:  (Looks at Rep. Waters wide eyed and slowly moves away) But is it fair… (glances back at Rep. Waters again) to make these accusations without evidence?

ANDRE CARSON:  Just because we don’t know who’s been hanged and who hasn’t been hanged doesn’t mean we shouldn’t prohibit it from happening. I answer to my constituents.

SHEILA JACKSON LEE:  Nobody fights harder for their constituents than I do. Nobody!

MAXINE WATERS:  Your mother’s in here, Maury. Would you like to leave her a message? I’ll see that she gets it.

HANK JOHNSON:  My mother used to make the finest honey glazed ham in Georgia.

MAURY POVICH:  I’m flabbergasted that you’re making these claims without any proof!

SHEILA JACKSON LEE:  FOX News ain’t proof enough? That Bill O’Reilly is a Klansman if I ever saw one!

HANK JOHNSON:  I never seen a Klansman. Not up close anyway. I seen ’em in pictures.

MAXINE WATERS:  La plume de ma tante. Ego te absolvo!

MAURY POVICH:  So FOX News is your proof?

ANDRE CARSON:  When you add the Tea Party plus FOX News you end up with a black man dangling at the end of a rope. Two plus two equals four.

HANK JOHNSON:  Yup, two plus two does equal four.

MAURY POVICH:  Representative Johnson, you once expressed concern that Guam might tip over because of over population!

HANK JOHNSON:  Yes, I guess I did ….

SHEILA JACKSON LEE:  What is of the utmost importance here is that Tea Party members stop hanging African Americans! I’m reminded of someone, uh, a proverb now, quoting Sheila Jackson Lee: Cleaning a dirty kitchen; you can’t clean it with dirty water.

MAURY POVICH:  (Stares wide eyed at Rep. Lee for several seconds) How are you going to stop something from taking place when you don’t know where or when or to whom it’s happening?

ANDRE CARSON:  Maury? I was hesitant about revealing this on your show, but as we were driving to your studio a few hours ago I saw several black people hanging from trees.


ANDRE CARSON:  I saw white people running away who were wearing tricorn hats and many of them had congressional I.D. badges dangling from their shirts.

HANK JOHNSON:  Yup, those were House members! I reckon those hats were Tea Party hats, too.

MAXINE WATERS:  Father, could you help an old alter boy?

SHEILA JACKSON LEE:  There are African Americans dangling from trees from sea to shining sea!

HANK JOHNSON:  Oh beautiful, for spacious skies – for amber waves of grain

MAXINE WATERS:  You killed your mother, Maury! You left her alone to die! Bastard!

ANDRE CARSON:  For purple mountain majesties!

SHEILA JACKSON LEE:   – above the fruited plain!

MAXINE WATERS:  Stick your c*ck up her ass, you mother f*cking worthless c*ck sucker!

Maxine Waters’ head begins to spin as the others stand and sing –

America! America!
God shed his grace on thee
And crown thy good with brotherhood
From sea to shining sea!

Rep. Maxine Waters (D) California

MAURY POVICH:  That’s all the time we have left folks. I want to thank the Congressional Black Caucus for…

MAXINE WATERS:  Lick me! Lick me!

MAURY POVICH:  (to Rep. Waters) The power of FOX News compels you! The power of FOX News compels you!

MAXINE WATERS:  Shove it up your ass, you faggot!

MAURY POVICH: (nervously moving away from Maxine Waters) Be sure to tune in tomorrow when my guests will be three deaf brothers who all claim to be the father of their sister’s child.

MAXINE WATERS:  FOX News is the whore you shared with your mother, Maury!




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