David Caruso Explains Sideways Stance: “I Always Face Mecca”

LOS ANGELES – Last week when David Caruso appeared on The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra asked him at the end of their short interview, “David, how come you keep facing away from me?”

Caruso stood up, put on his sunglasses and said, “Because, Tyra….I always face Mecca.”

Caruso then walked off stage and the show went to commercial. When the  show resumed, David Caruso was gone and Tyra spoke emotionally about her abundant buttocks.

CSI Miami was a mega-hit television show that ran on CBS for ten years. Millions of people enjoyed watching David Caruso portray lead character Horatio Cane in the series. His portrayal embraced idiosyncratic gestures and actions that regularly confused and delighted many. From his overt preoccupation with his sunglasses to his limited yet always dramatic speech patterns, Caruso’s character morphed into comic book proportions as the years accumulated. But it was his inability, or refusal, to look anyone in the eye that confounded fellow actors.

“I had several scenes with David and it got to be so unnerving,” remarked an actor who spoke on condition of anonymity. “When I looked at him during the scene he turned away. He kept turning away and I kept following him before I realized we were walking in circles. We circled around so many times I became dizzy and had to sit down.”

Randy Sipowicz is a make-up artist for CBS. In 2009 he was fired from CSI Miami after an altercation with Caruso. He spoke with the Daily Rash at a Sunset Boulevard Denny’s.

“Oh yeah, Caruso and I butted heads, and that’s putting it lightly. Sometimes I’d get so irritated I’d throw down my powder and stomp out of the trailer. I don’t know how many times one of my assistants had to finish for me.”

Randy went outside to smoke a cigarette and returned a few minutes later.

“Let’s just put it this way,” Randy confessed, “the guy is a freakin’ nut job, if you’ll pardon my French.” He nervously poured cream into his coffee.

“OK, so like, one time it was late afternoon and I’m rushing to touch up David’s make-up for a scene and he won’t face me. We’re in a trailer for Christ’s sake, so we don’t have chairs that spin, but … he’s making his chair turn. When I stand in front of him he turns his chair away from me. So I walk in front of him again and he turns away again. I screamed and told him that unless he faces me I couldn’t do his make-up.” Randy fidgeted and cleared his throat.

“So he stands up, puts on his sunglasses and looks at the wall. He told the wall, ‘Randy….this is one fight you aren’t going to win.'”

Randy pushed away his cheeseburger.

“And then he disappeared. I mean he literally… disappeared.”

Rory Cochrane had a role on CSI Miami for two years before he quit. He spoke with the Daily Rash at a Dunkin Donuts in Long Beach, California.

“After two years of dealing with David, I was having panic attacks. I would drink alcohol to get through scenes with him. I felt like I was losing my mind. I did that whole dance thing with him that everyone’s talked about. You go round and round trying to make eye contact with the guy and then you’re sick from dizziness. But it was that disappearing thing — you look around and…”

Cochrane picked up his bear-claw and stood up. “I can’t do this,” he said, before scurrying out of Dunkin Donuts.

Yesterday David Caruso spoke with the Daily Rash outside his dentist’s office in Canoga Park after getting his teeth cleaned.

The Daily Rash:  Thank-you for this interview!

Caruso:  You’re…..very welcome.

The Daily Rash:  Many people were startled to find out that the reason you are always standing sideways on your show is because you always face Mecca.

Caruso:  I’ll bet….they were.

The Daily Rash:  When did you become a Muslim?

Caruso:  Say again?

The Daily Rash:  When did you convert to Islam? Not to stereotype, but with your light, freckled skin and your vibrant red hair, many people have the impression that you are Irish.

Caruso:  I am… Irish Catholic

The Daily Rash:  But you just said that you always face Mecca.

Caruso:  That….is true.

The Daily Rash:  But you’re an Irish Catholic.

CarusoThat, sir… is true also.

The Daily Rash:  So why do you face Mecca?

Standing sideways, David Caruso stared out into his dentist’s parking lot. He looked down at the sunglasses he cradled in his hands before he carefully placed them on his face. He spread his legs, put his hands on his hips and looked into the distance.

“My teeth feel fresh…almost like they are brand new.”

With absolutely no evidence of movement, David Caruso had disappeared.

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9 Responses to David Caruso Explains Sideways Stance: “I Always Face Mecca”

  1. Nancy on October 11, 2016 at 6:52 pm

    So I guess, David Caruso is just a little crazy!

  2. Dave Ollis on October 17, 2016 at 10:49 pm

    Your probably right, but a lot of actors are! I heard years ago, his ego is so big he demanded an absorbent amount of money for CSI and they didn’t renew his contract until sometime later for a reduced amount, but this is just what I heard? I think he is a good actor, though…

    • aa on December 18, 2016 at 12:07 am

      LOL … What in the world is “an absorbent amount of money”? Do you mean “an EXORBITANT amount of money”?

  3. mary rose on January 18, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    This was a hilarious fake article.

  4. Totokass on February 26, 2017 at 4:28 am

    He’s a good actor.period.

  5. barbara n webb on June 14, 2017 at 11:48 am

    158 skunk misery rd

  6. barbara n webb on June 14, 2017 at 11:54 am

    heart to heart… hand in hand..my thoughts and prayers are with him daily…thank you david

  7. Made in the South on September 16, 2017 at 2:06 pm

    I like watching the NCIS Miami reruns but it has always left me wondering if David Caruso has a health problem with his neck because he is always cocking it to the side. I had problems with my neck and I had a habit of tilting my head.

  8. Ljb on October 2, 2017 at 11:09 pm

    What ever happened to…. He’s just crazy.

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