Bill Clinton Accuses President Obama of Stealing Hillary’s iPad

Photo taken by President Clinton

WASHINGTON – Reports of trouble brewing between President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton have been spreading like wild fire from sources inside the beltway. Washington insiders say the rumors have the potential of erupting into a full blown scandal.

On Thursday Hillary and Bill Clinton attended an informal luncheon at the White House with President Obama, Vice President Biden and prominent Washington VIPs. Prior to the lunch as the guests gathered in the Oval Office, Secretary of State Clinton’s iPad went missing. When a quick search did not result in its discovery, Mrs. Clinton assured everyone the iPad would turn up and insisted there was no cause for concern. It was roughly an hour later as she enjoyed a nostalgic stroll around the White House that Vice President Biden pulled Secretary Clinton aside with astonishing news of the missing iPad.

A White House staffer was straightening a hallway painting when Biden called out to Secretary Clinton.

“He furtively approached Mrs. Clinton, looked around suspiciously and then whispered in her ear. Mrs. Clinton’s face drained of color and she yelled out, What the f*ck? Obama stole my God damned iPad?! The Vice President nervously shushed Mrs. Clinton as he pulled her through a side exit door.”

A Biden staff member said Bill Clinton had approached the Vice President a few minutes earlier and told him he had proof that President Obama had pilfered Hillary’s iPad.

“President Clinton said that when he arrived at the White House he noticed President Obama anxiously flitting about the Oval Office as if he was extremely distracted. Mr. Clinton assumed the President was under enormous tension about the stagnant economy until, much to his dismay, Obama abruptly grabbed Mrs. Clinton’s iPad, slipped it under his arm and bolted out a side-door into the Rose garden.”

The staffer said Clinton took chase after President Obama.

“He slipped out the door after Obama, scurrying in the bushes along side the walkway in a reconnaissance manner. When he caught up to the President he was able to snap a picture with his iPhone before Obama disappeared through a door that, apparently, his mother-in-law was holding open for him to escape through.”

Later, as they sat together during a puppet performance on the South Lawn, President Clinton informed Biden that he had a photograph that proved Obama had stolen his wife’s iPad.

The Daily Rash obtained a copy of the photograph that shows what appears to be an apprehensive President Obama carrying an iPad outside the Oval Office. The look on the President’s face gives the impression that he suspects someone may be observing him from the bushes. Witnesses say that even when he saw the photograph Biden was skeptical about Obama’s involvement. But when Clinton asked him if President Obama owned an iPad, Biden became silent and then sighed heavily, ruefully shaking his head no.

Later that evening a livid Hillary Clinton glared at President Obama as he spoke at a White House fundraiser. Several of her aides said they’d never seen her that angry.

“I’ve seen Secretary Clinton angry many times, but this is something else. This is blue dress angry! I mean, she’s pissed!”

The aide said when President Obama became aware of Hillary’s vindictive demeanor he asked staff members if they knew “what Hillary’s problem was.” At the end of the evening he appeared to up the ante when he told reporters his mother-in-law had given him a new Apple iPad. He looked defiantly at Mrs. Clinton and said that because his mother-in-law had left that morning for an extended European vacation, she was not available for comment.

After several requests for comment, the Clintons have yet to respond to The Daily Rash.


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One Response to Bill Clinton Accuses President Obama of Stealing Hillary’s iPad

  1. […] After several requests for comment, the Clintons have yet to respond to The Daily Rash. […]