<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<rss version="2.0"
	xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/"
	xmlns:wfw="http://wellformedweb.org/CommentAPI/"
	xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/"
	xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom"
	xmlns:sy="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/syndication/"
	xmlns:slash="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/slash/"
	>

<channel>
	<title>The DAILY RASH</title>
	<atom:link href="http://www.thedailyrash.com/feed/" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://www.thedailyrash.com</link>
	<description>All the news that&#039;s unfit to print</description>
	<lastBuildDate>Tue, 21 Feb 2012 23:37:56 +0000</lastBuildDate>
	<language>en</language>
	<sy:updatePeriod>hourly</sy:updatePeriod>
	<sy:updateFrequency>1</sy:updateFrequency>
	<generator>http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1</generator>
<xhtml:meta xmlns:xhtml="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" name="robots" content="noindex" />
		<item>
		<title>Hope and Change for Real This Time</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailyrash.com/hope-and-change-for-real-this-time/.</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedailyrash.com/hope-and-change-for-real-this-time/.#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 21 Feb 2012 07:13:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark Donahue</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[1%]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[abortion]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Carrboro North Carolina]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fake News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gay Rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Guantanamo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gun rights]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[healthcare]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hope and Change]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hope and Change for Real This time]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Donahue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[National Defense Authorization Act]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Patriot Act]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[President Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rendition]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Republicans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spoof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Rash]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Gap]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[White House]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailyrash.com/?p=10008</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[CARRBORO, NC &#8211; The Obama administration announced yesterday that their 2012 Presidential campaign &#8220;Hope and Change &#8211; for Real This Time&#8221; is ready to roll. During a speech to a group of supporters outside a North Carolina Gap store, President Obama conceded a less than stellar start in his presidency before enthusiastically encouraging his audience to help him win another four years in the White House. Following is a transcript of the President&#8217;s speech. PRESIDENT OBAMA:  Some of you might remember a few years ago when I spoke to you about hope and change. When tens of millions of you jubilantly jumped on the bandwagon with an eagerness to ride with me into the dawn of a new age. You were dedicated, committed and you were focused. You were giddy with enthusiasm, intoxicated with anticipation, electrified with motivation. You took to the Internet and you knocked on doors. You made phone calls and you gave me a whole lot of your money! The President smiled big. PRESIDENT OBAMA:  Side by side we won the White House and together we were determined to make a change. We stood shoulder to shoulder on a mission to reshape our world. Committed to an [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thedailyrash.com/hope-and-change-for-real-this-time/./feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Obama&#8217;s Approval Rating Rises After Joe Biden Emasculates Himself</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailyrash.com/obamas-approval-rating-rises-after-joe-biden-emasculates-himself/.</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedailyrash.com/obamas-approval-rating-rises-after-joe-biden-emasculates-himself/.#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 17 Feb 2012 01:52:00 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark Donahue</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bennie Thompson]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Debbie Wasserman Schultz]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fake News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[House Democratic Retreat]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jerrold Nadler]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jim Clyburn]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Khalid Sheikh Mohammed]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Donahue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Minority Whip]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nancy Pelosi]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Osama bin Laden]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[President Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Press Secretary Jay Carney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Secretary of State Hillary Clinton]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spoof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Steny Hoyer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Rash]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[U.S. special forces]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vice president biden]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailyrash.com/?p=10183</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[CAMBRIDGE, Md. &#8211; During the speech he delivered at the annual House Democratic retreat in January, Vice President Joe Biden disclosed that he&#8217;d fervently warned President Obama against moving forward with the attack that killed Osama bin Laden. Biden told congressional members that President Obama ignored his exhortation and stoically ordered U.S. special forces to take bin Laden out. The Vice President said that &#8220;Obama took charge like a man&#8221; and that he, Biden, &#8220;folded like a timid, insecure woman.&#8221; &#8220;I make no bones about it. My cowardice glistened like a counterfeit diamond in the blinding radiance of President Obama&#8217;s courage.&#8221; Many in attendance said they were shocked to hear the Vice President speak so poorly of himself. &#8220;He basically called himself a wussy!&#8221; barked Minority Whip, Steny Hoyer. &#8220;He said that Obama was a real man who could make tough decisions under pressure. Referring to himself the Vice President said he was the kind of guy who would run the other way if a disabled woman was being beaten by a savage pack of hooligans. I couldn&#8217;t believe my ears. By the time he finished I had little regard left for the Vice President yet a new, profound respect [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thedailyrash.com/obamas-approval-rating-rises-after-joe-biden-emasculates-himself/./feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Ahmadinejad Halts Iran&#8217;s Nuclear Plans After Madonna&#8217;s Super Bowl Performance</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailyrash.com/ahmadinejad-halts-irans-nuclear-plans-after-watching-madonnas-super-bowl-performance/.</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedailyrash.com/ahmadinejad-halts-irans-nuclear-plans-after-watching-madonnas-super-bowl-performance/.#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 08 Feb 2012 07:36:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark Donahue</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA["Like a Prayer"]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Benjamin Netanyahu]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fake News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[holiday]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Iran]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Iranian President]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Madonna]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Madonna Super Bowl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mahmoud Ahmadinejad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Donahue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Nuclear weapons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spoof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Super Bowl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Super Bowl Halftime Show]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Rash]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailyrash.com/?p=10216</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Tehran &#8211; Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad announced today that he&#8217;s terminated all Iranian nuclear programs and said he will travel to Israel later in the week to meet with Prime Minister Netanyahu to discuss peace. The announcement was made from an orphanage in Mashhad where Ahmadinejad spent several hours hugging children and playing tag. Several times during his statement the Iranian President paused to fight back tears, smiling at the orphans as he regained his composure. When the surprising news went public scores of Iranians wept with joy and danced in the streets. Sources close to the diminutive Iranian leader claim that it was Madonna&#8217;s spectacular Super Bowl performance that sparked the sudden change in the Iranian President. &#8220;Many of us saw a profound change in our President&#8217;s demeanor after he watched Madonna&#8217;s sensational Super Bowl halftime presentation,&#8221; said a man who attended Ahmadinejad&#8217;s annual Super Bowl party. &#8220;After watching the captivating, awe-inspiring performance, President Ahmadinejad politely excused himself and locked himself in another room for many minutes. When he returned to the festivities he carried with him balloons, a bag of marshmallows and a kazoo. After passing around the party favors he played a rousing rendition of Madonna&#8217;s &#8216;Holiday&#8217; [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thedailyrash.com/ahmadinejad-halts-irans-nuclear-plans-after-watching-madonnas-super-bowl-performance/./feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Baltimore Ravens Kicker Blames Missed Field Goal on Do-Nothing Congress</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailyrash.com/baltimore-ravens-kicker-blames-missed-field-goal-on-do-nothing-congress/.</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedailyrash.com/baltimore-ravens-kicker-blames-missed-field-goal-on-do-nothing-congress/.#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 24 Jan 2012 07:28:41 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark Donahue</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AFC Championship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Baltimore Ravens]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[congress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ESPN]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fake News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Donahue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New England Patriots]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NFL]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[President Obama]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Press Secretary Jay Carney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spoof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Super Bowl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Rash]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[U.S. Congress]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailyrash.com/?p=10112</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[FOXBOROUGH, MASS &#8211; After missing what would have been a game-tying field goal in the waning seconds of the AFC Championship game, Baltimore Ravens kicker Billy Cundiff told reporters that his frustration and disappointment with the U.S. Congress was a contributing factor in his bungled kick. Several of Cundiff&#8217;s family members concurred that the languid performance of Congress deserves much of the responsibility for Cundiff&#8217;s season ending blunder. &#8220;People have been criticizing the President for traveling around and making speeches instead of staying in Washington and leading,&#8221; Cundiff&#8217;s mom told a local sports radio show. &#8220;If Obama is forced to be out campaigning in bad weather in order to get Americans to exert pressure on a do-nothing Congress, imagine the pressure my son was under.&#8221; During an interview with ESPN, Cundiff was unable to mask his congressional dissatisfaction. &#8220;Like President Obama, I&#8217;ve been paralyzed with frustration because of our current do-nothing Congress. I mean, why can&#8217;t they get anything done? That&#8217;s why I for one don&#8217;t question all the vacations, talk show appearances or speeches that take up so much of President Obama&#8217;s time. If Congress can&#8217;t do its job how can the President be expected to do his? So [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thedailyrash.com/baltimore-ravens-kicker-blames-missed-field-goal-on-do-nothing-congress/./feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>World Celebrates Alec Baldwin&#8217;s Return to Twitter</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailyrash.com/world-celebrates-alec-baldwins-return-to-twitter/.</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedailyrash.com/world-celebrates-alec-baldwins-return-to-twitter/.#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 17 Jan 2012 04:24:18 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark Donahue</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Celebrities]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[30 Rock]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alec baldwin]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Bank One]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fake News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Donahue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[narcisism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NBC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spoof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[starbucks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Rash]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Twitter]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailyrash.com/?p=9940</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[When Alec Baldwin abandoned Twitter I think I was in a state of shock. I don&#8217;t even remember the first couple of weeks after it happened. You know what they say, denial ain&#8217;t no river in Egypt. But today when I heard he was back I cried happy tears. - Brittany Russell, Seattle, WA NEW YORK &#8211; Hollywood superstar Alec Baldwin reactivated his Twitter account Wednesday after being away for over a month, sparking a celebratory wave of relief around the world.                                     &#8220;Back on Twitter&#8221;  With a simple three word &#8220;tweet&#8221; Baldwin soothed the deep psychological aches and pains suffered by millions after his abrupt departure last month. Around the globe fans breathed a collective sigh of relief with many experiencing euphoric, life changing reactions. A woman in Paris said the news excited her so much that she had sex with several strangers. A man in Vermont said the news induced him to release a young boy he&#8217;d held captive in his basement for several months. A man in Australia said news of Alec Baldwin tweeting again gave him the strength to give up his lifelong addiction to eating dirt and a woman in Miami, after weeks of suffering [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thedailyrash.com/world-celebrates-alec-baldwins-return-to-twitter/./feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Rick Perry Says Romney Beat Poor Elderly Woman with a Polo Mallet</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailyrash.com/rick-perry-says-mitt-romney-beat-elderly-woman-with-a-polo-mallet/.</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedailyrash.com/rick-perry-says-mitt-romney-beat-elderly-woman-with-a-polo-mallet/.#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 12 Jan 2012 07:44:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark Donahue</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[American Exceptionalism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fake News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Governor Rick Perry]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Governor Romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hardee's]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Donahue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Maury Povich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mitt Romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New Hampshire Republican Primary]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Palmetto State]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Polo]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[South Carolina]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[South Carolina Republican Primary]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spoof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Rash]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailyrash.com/?p=9876</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[New Hampshire &#8211; After getting walloped in Tuesday&#8217;s New Hampshire Republican primary, Texas Governor Rick Perry lashed out at Mitt Romney during an interview on FOX news. Perry called Romney a vulture capitalist who devours companies and leaves behind the carcases of the workers. He also said Romney was an unethical person who wants to make as much money as he can in a hurry. The Governor&#8217;s harsh words only got worse this morning when he appeared on the Maury Povich show. Following is a transcript of that interview. MAURY POVICH:  Governor, you have some startling news for us. RICK PERRY:  Good to see you too, Maury. Happy to be here. MAURY POVICH:  Tell our audience why you&#8217;re here. RICK PERRY:  Uh, well, last night I met an elderly woman at a Hardee&#8217;s in the Palmetto State of South Carolina and she begged me to stay in the race for president. She said if Mitt Romney gets the nomination that she won&#8217;t be able to sleep at night. MAURY POVICH:  And why would she lose sleep over a Romney nomination. RICK PERRY:  In a nutshell? Because Mitt Romney mercilessly beat her with his polo mallet. The studio audience gasped. MAURY [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thedailyrash.com/rick-perry-says-mitt-romney-beat-elderly-woman-with-a-polo-mallet/./feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Gingrich Campaign Denies Hiring Man to Stare at Mitt Romney During Debate</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailyrash.com/gingrich-campaign-denies-hiring-man-to-stare-at-romney-during-debate/.</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedailyrash.com/gingrich-campaign-denies-hiring-man-to-stare-at-romney-during-debate/.#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 07 Jan 2012 00:00:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark Donahue</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Denny's]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Des Moines]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fake News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Iowa Caucus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Donahue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[McDonalds]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mitt Romney]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New Hampshire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Newt Gingrich]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Republican Presidential Debate]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Ron Paul]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spoof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Rash]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailyrash.com/?p=9806</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[NEW HAMPSHIRE &#8211; Newt Gingrich&#8217;s campaign manager denies that he or anyone on his staff paid a man to stare at Mitt Romney in an intimidating way during the Republican debate in Manchester. But an anonymous source told the Daily Rash that someone from the Gingrich campaign gave a sinister looking man $137 and McDonald&#8217;s gift certificates to glare menacingly at Governor Romney at the New Hampshire debate. &#8220;We didn&#8217;t pay anybody to sit in the front row and stare at Mitt Romney in an intimidating way,&#8221; a campaign staffer told the Daily Rash. &#8220;That&#8217;s not how we do things around here.&#8221; The hired man, Magnum V. Vanderschlausen, lives about half a mile from the Des Moines airport with his sister and his ex-mother-in-law. He is a former rollerskating rink attendant who has been unemployed for the last decade. He freely admitted that he is training to stare in an intimidating manner in order to make Governor Romney feel uncomfortable during Saturday&#8217;s debate. He said he was very disappointed by recent impolite ads directed at Newt Gingrich by the Romney campaign. Vanderschlausen maintains he does not know who is paying him. &#8220;I was at a Denny&#8217;s restaurant very late one [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thedailyrash.com/gingrich-campaign-denies-hiring-man-to-stare-at-romney-during-debate/./feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Jesus Christ Signs $100 Million Contract with Denver Broncos</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailyrash.com/jesus-christ-signs-100-million-contract-with-denver-broncos/.</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedailyrash.com/jesus-christ-signs-100-million-contract-with-denver-broncos/.#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Thu, 15 Dec 2011 00:49:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark Donahue</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AFC]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[AppleBees]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Charlie Sheen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Charlie Sheen's hairpiece]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Chicago Bears]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Denver Broncos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Don King]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Eric Decker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fake News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Gatorade]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Hoarders]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Jesus Christ]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[John Fox]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lenny Bruce]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Lord and Savior]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Madonna]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Marion Barber]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Donahue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mickey Rouark]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NFL]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Pat Bowlen]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Sermon on the Mount]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spoof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Super Bowl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Rash]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tim Tebow]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Willis McGahee]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailyrash.com/?p=9674</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[DENVER &#8211; The Denver Broncos announced today that they&#8217;ve signed Jesus Christ to a one year, $100 million contract to play an unspecified position on their football team. After Sunday&#8217;s win over the Chicago Bears, Broncos owner Pat Bowlen met with Mr. Christ over cocktails at a downtown Denver AppleBee&#8217;s where he persuaded the former carpenter to play for the Broncos. Up till now Jesus had an unofficial role on the team helping to motivate the players. Bowlen said that because Jesus&#8217; presence proved to be such an invaluable influence he was determined to add the Lord and Savior to the roster in an effort to clinch an AFC playoff berth. Week after week NFL fans have watched as Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow repeatedly brings his team back from the brink of defeat, always giving credit for the win to his friend Jesus. Because of the positive influence he was having on their quarterback, the Bronco&#8217;s front office issued Jesus a security pass and informed the coaching staff, &#8220;whatever Jesus wants, Jesus gets.&#8221; The Broncos have won seven of its last eight games with many of those wins coming in miraculous fourth quarter rallies. Ironically, because of his busy schedule, [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thedailyrash.com/jesus-christ-signs-100-million-contract-with-denver-broncos/./feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Macy&#8217;s Fires Another Santa Claus</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailyrash.com/macys-fires-another-santa-claus/.</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedailyrash.com/macys-fires-another-santa-claus/.#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 07 Dec 2011 23:27:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark Donahue</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alcohol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alcoholism]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Christmas]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fake News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Herald Square]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Holidays]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[kids]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Macy's]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Manhattan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Mark Donahue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[New York]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[public urination]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Rudy's bar]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Santa Claus]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spoof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Rash]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailyrash.com/?p=9578</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[NEW YORK &#8211; Macy&#8217;s department store has fired yet another Santa Claus employee for being drunk at their Herald Square location in Manhattan, their fifth Santa termination since November 25th. A spokesperson for Macy&#8217;s said that two other Santas have been suspended without pay for three days and another was issued a verbal warning, all for consuming alcohol on the job. Nathan Newton was the latest Santa to be let go. Newton lives with his girlfriend and her five children in New Jersey and was hired by Macy&#8217;s to work the weekend Santa shift. Macy&#8217;s terminated Mr. Newton on Sunday after a family saw him urinating in an alley behind the store. A Macy&#8217;s spokesperson said that normally Newton would have received a warning or suspension for drinking on the job but urinating in public was grounds for immediate dismissal. &#8220;Mr. Newton had so much potential as a Macy&#8217;s Santa but public urination will not be tolerated under any circumstance. It&#8217;s unfortunate Mr. Newton will not reach his Santa Claus potential with our department store, but we wish him all the best in his future endeavors.&#8221; Nathan Newton spoke to the Daily Rash from his 1972 Volkswagen Beetle as it [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thedailyrash.com/macys-fires-another-santa-claus/./feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>0</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Barney Frank In Salary Negotiations For Elmer Fudd Role</title>
		<link>http://www.thedailyrash.com/barney-frank-in-salary-negotiations-for-elmer-fudd-role/.</link>
		<comments>http://www.thedailyrash.com/barney-frank-in-salary-negotiations-for-elmer-fudd-role/.#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 28 Nov 2011 07:56:13 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Mark Donahue</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Politics]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[barney frank]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bugs bunny]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cartoons]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[congress]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dreamworks studios]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[elmer fudd]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Fake News]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gay americans]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[House of Representatives]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ideologue]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lisps]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[looney tunes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[parody]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[political humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[political satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Satire]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Spoof]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[The Daily Rash]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.thedailyrash.com/?p=185</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[NEW YORK &#8211; DreamWorks Studios announced today that they are in the final stages of salary negotiations with Massachusetts Congressman Barney Frank for their new Looney Tunes Bugs Bunny movie. Frank is slated to play Elmer Fudd in the five hundred million dollar, two part, six hour movie epic. The Congressman expressed interest in the role when he heard that Bugs Bunny was going to be played by an actor who has expressed conservative political views in the past. We talked with Congressman Frank over brunch in the West Village where he was visiting a friend. “It was wight before our summer wecess,&#8221; he recalled, &#8220;and Hawwy Weid took me aside and infowmed me that the character of Bugs Bunny was going to be played by a wacially insensitive wight wing wepublican!” The Daily Rash attempted to contact Steven Spielberg of Dream Works, but our emails and phone calls were not returned. People affiliated with the project remain mum on the identity of the “politically conservative actor.” “It’s a bit pwemature at this point to say that I have the woll wapped up,&#8221; the Congressman said, as he voraciously gnawed at a double-decker roast beef sandwich with a side of [...]]]></description>
		<wfw:commentRss>http://www.thedailyrash.com/barney-frank-in-salary-negotiations-for-elmer-fudd-role/./feed/</wfw:commentRss>
		<slash:comments>4</slash:comments>
		</item>
	</channel>
</rss>
<!-- This Quick Cache file was built for (  www.thedailyrash.com/feed/ ) in 0.92118 seconds, on Feb 23rd, 2012 at 2:36 am UTC. -->
<!-- This Quick Cache file will automatically expire ( and be re-built automatically ) on Feb 23rd, 2012 at 2:39 am UTC -->
