George Will Questioned by Police After Loitering Outside Indiana Dairy Queen

thedailyrash.comLOGANSPORT, INDIANA – Conservative columnist and former Republican, George Will, was questioned by police yesterday after they received complaints he was loitering outside a local Dairy Queen in this north central Indiana city. Restaurant employees called police after customers complained of a “creepy man” lurking around the building and parking lot. When police arrived they saw a man in a business suit wedged inside a brick alcove of the restaurant. During questioning the police discovered the man was George Will.

Police Chief Orin Wackit spoke to reporters this afternoon from the Dairy Queen parking lot where it is alleged George Will had been loitering.

“We received a call from the restaurant manager and he said a strange man was hanging around outside the Dairy Queen making customers uncomfortable,” Police Chief Wackit said, pausing occasionally to gnaw on a delicious Dairy Queen Buster Bar. “The manager told us he tried to speak with the man but each time he approached him the man would scurry away. When one of our patrol cars drove past yesterday officers observed a man in a suit nestled in a brick enclave on the side of the building near the drive-thru window. When officers approached him he became agitated and attempted to walk away. Officers stopped and questioned the man and discovered he was conservative newspaper columnist George Will. In an effort to avoid a media frenzy Mr. Will agreed to get into his car and follow the patrol car to the station which is about a mile away from the Dairy Queen.”

Snyder Snadeshack, a 34-year-old vacuum salesman was taking his grandmother out for a birthday ice cream cone when they happened upon George Will.

“I was walking up to the DQ with Mamaw when a guy standing beside the building hissed at us. He asked Mamaw if she lived in the United States and when she told him yes the man asked her if she voted for Donald Trump. I didn’t think it was appropriate to ask an elderly woman who she voted for and I told him just that. He squinted at me and said, ‘Hey! Was I talking to you, hayseed? Go get yourself a Dillybar and let me talk to the old lady.’ I was ready to go off on the guy but Mamaw was scared so I walked her into the Dairy Queen to get away from him.”

“We weren’t aware of the man until one of our drive-thru customers asked about him,” remarked restaurant manager, Brice B. Brickman. “I looked out the window and saw him leaning against the brick wall of the restaurant. It was just a few minutes later when another customer came into the restaurant and said the strange man had walked up and asked if there was anyplace nearby to get a good shoeshine. The customer said when he told the man that he was not aware of any such place the stranger spit on the ground and said mean things about Logansport using profanity.”

The restaurant manager said when he walked outside George Will became agitated.

“He looked real nervous and then he started running across the street. He jumped into a paneled station wagon and squealed out of the parking lot. It was bout 10 minutes later when I saw him park his car and walk back to the DQ. That’s when I called the police.”

Stay at home mom, Baybreeze Bixby, saw George Will when she was waiting in the Dairy Queen drive thru with her three young children.

“He kept staring at us when we were in the drive-thru line,” she recalled. “Then he’d start walking towards our car when the line wasn’t moving but turn back around when the lined moved closer to the takeout window. I could see him staring at us in my side mirror. I became so nervous I told the kids to get on the floor of the car and cover their eyes. Then I turned the radio up real loud.”

George Will told police he was driving from Chicago to a Chelsea Clinton book signing in Indianapolis when he became so angry thinking about Donald Trump that he pulled over and began kicking the tires of his car. He said he scuffed his shoes kicking the tires and pulled into the Dairy Queen to inquire about getting a shoeshine. He admitted to being rude to several Logansport citizens and he apologized. He promised to get back into his car and continue driving to the Chelsea Clinton book signing without stopping in Logansport again. The police agreed and allowed Mr. Will to leave. There were no charges filed.

A few hours later George Will was in Indianapolis listening along with half a dozen others as Chelsea Clinton read excerpts from She Persisted, her new children’s book. A bookstore employee said when Mr. Will gave Chelsea a five dollar Dairy Queen gift card after she signed his book that Chelsea “screamed really loud and jumped up and down like a child.”


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