Ground Zero Mosque to Include Jihad Fantasy Camp for Kids

NEW YORK – In what the New York Times is calling “a bear-hug of openness and transparency,” project organizers for the Ground Zero Mosque announced yesterday the inclusion of a “Jihad Fantasy Camp for Kids” at the future lower Manhattan facility. Organizers said that the camp would be a “learning bridge between east and west.”

Daisy Kahn, wife of Imam Faisal Abdul Rauf, announced the addition of the Jihad Fantasy Camp at a private party thrown by New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg at Gracie Mansion. Guests included Vice President Biden, Reverend Al Sharpton, “Jersey Shores” cast member Nicole Snookie Polizzi, disgraced CBS news anchor Dan Rather, singer/actress Cher and former TV talk show host Montel Williams among others.

Vice President Biden spoke at the gathering.

“I’m confident that President Obama will feel the way I do about this interesting turn of events. When people talk about wanting a show of faith, a goodwill gesture on the part of these loving organizers, is there a better example than their offer of a bridge from the East to the West?”

There was a smattering of applause.

“I can’t hear you!” Biden yelled, and the response grew louder.

“Where else but America could these folks provide the opportunity for youngsters to safely experience the trials and tribulations of your average Jihadist?” Biden cleared his throat and continued. “These folks want to give children the educational opportunity to strap on a vest of pretend explosives, enter a bustling pretend shopping mall and then enthusiastically detonate themselves for maximum slaughter and collateral damage.”

The Vice President wiped his brow and loosened his tie.

“I for one have always declared; to understand your enemy you must stand in his shoes! Or in this case, put on a vest of explosives containing nails, glass and sharp metal pieces and step onto a crowded school bus.”

Eugene Robinson of the Washington Post hailed the Camp as “a milestone on the proverbial journey that America must trudge to learn about her racism and intolerance!”

Several protesters stood outside the gathering chanting “No Jihad Camp for Kids! No Jihad Camp for Kids!”

On the opposite side of the street, counter protesters chanted:  “Jihadists are people too, just like me and you! Jihadists are people too, just like me and you!

In a statement written by the project’s organizers, the Jihad Fantasy Camp for Kids would “open the door for non-Muslims and non-militant Muslims alike to understand and appreciate what your typical Jihadist puts up with day to day.”

Entertainer Cher spoke with The Daily Rash.

“Most people are not aware that a vast majority of Jihadists have never owned a deck of cards. And I’m not making that up! I’ve got the ACLU data to prove it. What most of us in America take for granted, a deck of playing cards in the bottom of a kitchen drawer, your typical Jihadist has never known. Most Jihadists have never played Go Fish. Never played so many other card games that those of us in the West take for granted.”

Cher used her hand to brush the hair from her face.

“When they grow up in conditions like that, is it really a surprise when they end up cutting someone’s head off?”

Cher said that she wishes there would have been Jihad Fantasy Camps for Kids when her daughter Chastity was little.

“Chastity isn’t real fond of Jihadists because they are very anti-homosexual. If Chastity could have experienced a Jihad Fantasy Camp, maybe she would be a little less quick to judge. That’s all I’m saying.”

Nicole Snookie Polizzi said that she agreed with whatever Cher had said, and then she passed out.

Mayor Bloomberg said he applauds the idea of the Jihad Fantasy Camp.

“In America we’ve gotten into the habit of expecting others to understand us. It is ridiculous for any of us to think we are better than anyone else.  So let’s build this Mosque! Let’s start that camp! Let’s walk across that bridge together as Americans, as Muslims and Christians and Jews and… all those other people!”

Reverend Al Sharpton talked to reporters outside the gathering.

“I have always said that racial profiling is wrong! I have always said that Muslims have a right to exist just like all you white people do! I have always said that our small children should be taught to embrace cultures and traditions that they do not understand and to quit thinking they are better than other people! I have always said those things and that’s why I’m saying them again today! And I dare Glenn Beck to send his kids to Jihad Camp! I’m personally busing in black kids from poor neighborhoods all over the country to attend Jihad Fantasy Camp. Is Glenn Beck doing that?”

Reverend Sharpton grabbed a bull-horn from a protester,

Hey Glenn Beck!

Jihadists are people too, just like me and you!

Jihadists are people too, just like me and you!”

Robert Gibbs told reporters today that President Obama feels this is a matter for New Yorkers to work out on their own.

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