BOLTON, MISS – In this small southern town that has no black inhabitants Reverend Jesse Jackson spoke out against black people today at the grand opening of a brand new Staples store. Talking to a group of reporters in the Staples parking lot, Jackson accused black Americans of playing the victim card, the race card and the minority card. He suggested that black people could do more to understand white people and their culture by going bowling or listening to Andy Williams records. Recent polls show that Jackson’s reputation in black communities is in a steep decline. Sources inside Jackson’s inner circle say that the exploitation of his African American brothers and sisters for profit, acclaim and political stature has grown stale for the Reverend. That in the past couple of years, after fathering an out of wedlock baby and getting caught saying that he wanted to “cut the nuts off” then Senator Obama, the old ways of doing things are not as accepted as they’d been for the last four or five decades.
“So I joined the Klan, it’s that simple,” Jackson smirked.
When asked if that made him look hypocritical, Jackson looked startled. “Hypocritical? When have I ever not been hypocritical?”
During an interview for a documentary about the new “all inclusive” Ku Klux Klan, Reverend Jackson flashed the “new” Klan sign for the video camera. Jackson also spoke of his plans to meet with Black Entertainment Television (BET) lawyers next month in his first attempt to shake down a black owned corporation.
“If they don’t agree to start hirin’ whitey, my compensation is gonna be mighty,” the Reverend grinned. Then he flashed the new Klan sign to some passing hunters before making a cell phone call to his accountant.