Joe Biden Admits Taking Viagra Before Attending State of the Union Address

Thedailyrash.comWASHINGTON – During Tuesday night’s State of the Union address Vice President Biden admitted to Speaker of the House John Boehner that he’d accidentally taken Viagra pills before arriving for the event. This morning, after giving a talk on shotgun ownership to seniors at a Bethesda nursing home, the vice president came clean when reporters confronted him with Boehner’s claim.

REPORTER:  Mr. Vice President, Speaker Boehner said you took Viagra before the State of the Union address.

BIDEN: (looking surprised) He did?

REPORTER:  He said you told him you thought you were taking your daily vitamins and realized too late it was Viagra.

BIDEN: (smiling) Well, looks like the cat’s out of the bag now, huh?

REPORTER:  So it’s true?

BIDEN:  OK, you got me. Look, it was an accident. I was rushing to get ready and I picked up the wrong pill bottle.

REPORTER:  How many did you take?

BIDEN:  Oh, I don’t know for sure. A handful. (Biden winked) And I was revved up big time, let me tell ya.

Thedailyrash.comREPORTER:  Some people are saying it explains some of your antics on stage during the president’s speech.

BIDEN:  My antics?

REPORTER:  The smiling and pointing ….

BIDEN:  Well, there were some good lookin’ gals out there in the audience.

REPORTER:  Are you saying you were, uh …. aroused?

BIDEN:  I had a boner. What’s the big deal? It’s a natural biological function. I really don’t feel it’s anything I need to feel ashamed about.

REPORTER:  Why did you tell Speaker Boehner about the Viagra?

BIDEN: (chuckles) He pointed to my crotch and asked me: Is that a gun in your pocket or are you glad to see me.

Thedailyrash.comREPORTER:  How did he react after you told him about the Viagra?

BIDEN:  He buttoned up my suit jacket to try and cover me up. (Biden smiled) John’s an old buddy of mine. We’ve spent lots of time together in the congressional showers snapping each other with towels. Just guys being guys. Good old fashioned, American fun.

REPORTER:  This may be the first State of the Union erection.

BIDEN:  Oh, I doubt that.

REPORTER:  You think other vice presidents have taken Viagra before such an important event?

BIDEN:  I’m not saying that, but I can guarantee you Lyndon Johnson was always erect during State of the Union speeches.

REPORTER:  Who were you pointing to from the podium?

BIDEN:  I know I pointed at Nance a couple of times.

REPORTER:  Representative Nancy Pelosi?

DWSBIDEN:  Yeah. When she’d turn sideways her breast implants kept bulging against her blouse. I kept waiting for some buttons to pop.

REPORTER:  Did you find that stimulating?

BIDEN:  There wasn’t much I didn’t find stimulating, if you know what I’m sayin’. (Biden winked) Heck, I even took a second look at Debbie Wasserman Schultz. That’s how good that stuff is.

REPORTER:  By stuff you’re referring to the Viagra?

BIDEN: Yes. A couple of those little blue devils can even make a double bagger look like a hottie. (Biden winks) For a little while, anyway.

REPORTER:  Did you find it hard to concentrate on the president’s speech?

BIDEN: Oh I found it hard all right! (laughs and winks) But all kidding aside, nobody gives better speech than President Obama.

Thedailyrash.comREPORTER:  How do you think President Obama will react to your Viagra news?

BIDEN:  Oh, he was aware of it at the State of the Union. He did what he always does, smiled at me and pointed his finger in the air.

REPORTER:  So he’s OK with it?

BIDEN:  Oh sure. He’s becoming quite curious about the blue pills. I’m certain at some point he’s going to ask me for one.

(Biden suddenly becomes serious and looks directly into the TV camera)

BIDEN: But you kids out there need to understand, never share your prescription drugs with others and never take someone else’s drugs. That’s just good old fashioned common sense. Plus, I think it’s the law too.

REPORTER:  If you run for president, do you think this is going to come back to haunt you?

BIDEN:  Ah gosh no. Look at President Clinton, he’s a rock star now and he’s even been accused of rape. Of course, that shouldn’t have any bearing on Mrs. Clinton’s campaign should she choose to run against me.

REPORTER:  So you think it could help your image?

BIDEN:  I don’t know if it’s gonna help my image, but it sure can’t make it any worse.

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