Keith Olbermann Lands First Interview with Casey Anthony

NEW YORK – Before the cancellation of his show on Al Gore’s television network Current TV, Keith Olbermann scored a major coup when he landed the first, and thus far, only interview with Casey Anthony after she was acquitted of murdering her little girl. Anthony accepted the interview request after Olbermann and Gore promised her an all-expense paid trip for four to Disney World and $10,000 in cash. Al Gore fired Olbermann before the interview was aired and subsequently sold Current TV to Al Jazeera. This morning Mr. Gore allowed the transcript of that ground breaking interview to be released.

KEITH OLBERMANN:  I want to welcome you to my show, Casey. This must be a happy time for you, young lady.

CASEY ANTHONY:  Oh, if you only knew!

OLBERMANN:  Well, let me be the first to congratulate you on your acquittal and to extend to you my deepest wishes for a long and prosperous life in these God forsaken United States.

CASEY ANTHONY:  Gee thanks.

OLBERMANN:  What’s the first thing you plan on doing when you are set free?

CASEY ANTHONY:  Well, thanks to you and Al Gore I get to go to Disney World.

OLBERMANN:  And you deserve it, ma’am.

CASEY ANTHONY:  And I really want to hang out with my friends and get loaded. It’s been a long time.

OLBERMANN Too long, I’m sure.

CASEY ANTHONY:  More than anything else, I want to get pregnant as soon as possible.

OLBERMANN:  That’s wonderful! Who do you have in mind to impregnate you?

CASEY ANTHONY:  At this point it really doesn’t matter. I just need to reproduce and be the best mother I can be.

OLBERMANN:  Is it true you’ve received hundreds of letters from men around the world who desire to fornicate with you?

CASEY ANTHONY:  At least that many.

OLBERMANN How are you ever going to choose?

CASEY ANTHONY:  I don’t know yet. I might just have a raffle or something. It really doesn’t matter to me. All I care about is raising a child.

OLBERMANN Ah, motherhood.

CASEY ANTHONY:  You got that right.

OLBERMANN What do you think George W Bush thinks about all of this?


OLBERMANN You remember our last president, the mass murdering psychotic war monger with the blood of innocents on his hands? What do you think he’s thinking about your ordeal?

CASEY ANTHONY:  I don’t know.

OLBERMANN:  Great answer Casey! He probably doesn’t know either.

CASEY ANTHONY:   (looks confused)

OLBERMANN If I may ask, what’s your political affiliation?

CASEY ANTHONY:  I don’t even know.

OLBERMANN Who did you vote for in the 2008 election?

CASEY ANTHONY:  I don’t think I voted. That’s around the time all the murder stuff began.

OLBERMANN Oh, that’s right. Well, if you hadn’t been sidetracked by that ridiculous murder investigation, would you have voted for Barack Obama or that lame ass, pseudo war hero, John McCain?

CASEY ANTHONY:  Probably Obama.

OLBERMANN I’ll bet you weren’t too happy when the Republicans took over the House in 2010.


OLBERMANN:  No, no no! The House of Representatives.


OLBERMANN You know if a Republican had been in charge of your trial you’d be in your cell right now awaiting execution.


OLBERMANN:  Count on it. And if you were black, you’d already be dead. And then they would arrest and kill your entire family.



CASEY ANTHONY:  Well at least my daughter is already dead.

OLBERMANN:  In this case, I have to agree with you. Otherwise a Republican would be holding his hand over her mouth as we speak.

CASEY ANTHONY:  Why do such bad people have to live in our world, sir?

OLBERMANN I am trying to find that out, ma’am. It’s my job. It’s what I do. One night at a time on Current TV.

CASEY ANTHONY:  Who are you?

OLBERMANN I’m Keith Olbermann. I fight for the little guy. I fight against corporate arrogance, greed, and Republican death merchants. I’m also a color commentator for NBC Sports.

CASEY ANTHONY:  Wait! I know you! You’re that guy that was kicked out of his mom’s basement!

OLBERMANN That’s a malicious rumor circulating on right wing propaganda sites intended to sway the unwashed masses.

CASEY ANTHONY:  I never heard of Current TV.

OLBERMANN Do you watch cable news?

CASEY ANTHONY:  I’ve seen Bill O’Reilly.

OLBERMANN:  So I’m confident you agree with me that he’s the worst person in the world?

CASEY ANTHONY:  I’m glad it’s not me! (laughs)

OLBERMANN:  Are you aware that Republicans don’t want you to have healthcare? That Cubans have better healthcare than you do, Casey?

CASEY ANTHONY:  I uh…are we almost done?

OLBERMANN:  I remember when George W Bush told Americans not to think. Did you know he said that?

CASEY ANTHONY:  I remember when he bombed those terrorists. That was pretty cool.

OLBERMANN:  Oh, you think it’s cool to bomb innocent people?

CASEY ANTHONY:  Innocent? They were about as innocent as I am! (Puts hand over her mouth and stifles a laugh)

OLBERMANN:  You know what, Casey? John Boehner wants to push your grandparents over a cliff.


OLBERMANN:  He’s the parasitic Wall Street cheerleader in charge of the Republican controlled House.

CASEY ANTHONY:  Well, he’s gonna have a hard time pushing my paw-paw off a cliff. He weighs three hundred pounds!

OLBERMANN:  Even still, if your grandfather doesn’t die from obesity caused by unregulated fast food sold by corporate pariahs he’ll choke to death from the carbon monoxide manically pumped into the air by Republican backed corporate killing machines.

CASEY ANTHONY:  OK, it was nice meeting you, sir.

OLBERMANN:  Casey, are you aware that racist Republicans want President Obama to fail because he’s black?

CASEY ANTHONY:  I haven’t seen much news lately.

OLBERMANN:  Well let me bring you up to date. Republicans want to screw….

CASEY ANTHONY:  I’m just looking forward to having another baby.

OLBERMANN What if you get pregnant and decide the time just isn’t right for a child. Do you feel it is your right to end that pregnancy with an abortion?

CASEY ANTHONY:  I’d probably make that decision after I had the baby.

OLBERMANN Not if Republicans have anything to do with it. Did you know that they plan to exterminate…

CASEY ANTHONY:  It’s time for me to go.

OLBERMANN:  It’s going to be expected of me to ask you, and I hope you aren’t offended but, did you kill your daughter?

CASEY ANTHONY:  You know, all along we kept hearing rumors that maybe Republicans were behind the disappearance of my little girl.

OLBERMANN:  And you didn’t think it could be possible did you?

CASEY ANTHONY:  Nope. But then I realized that Republicans want to kill my granddaddy, keep my family from receiving the health care we deserve and use our tax money to buy big airplanes for their own private use.


CASEY ANTHONY:  I just wish I would have watched your TV show and learned before it was too late.

OLBERMANN:  It’s not too late, Casey. I’ve joined forces with Vice President Al Gore, Michael Moore and several more over-weight millionaires who hope to make even more money terrifying people like you.

CASEY ANTHONY:  I might write about you in my book!

OLBERMANN:  Sure to be a factual account of your life, I’m confident. Unlike the blatant neo-con lies, deception and manipulation in Sarah Palin’s book of despicable propaganda.

CASEY ANTHONY:  I want to be as honest as I can.

OLBERMANN Unlike Dick Cheney, the evil master of the dark side who’s willing to sacrifice the lives of millions of innocent people so he can make a fast buck on oil.

CASEY ANTHONY:  Your producer said you’d have my Disney World tickets?

OLBERMANN:  Sure, I’ve got them right here.

CASEY ANTHONY:  And the cash?

OLBERMANN (while getting out his wallet) Casey, were you aware that Republicans want homosexuals in concentration camps? (hands money to Casey)

CASEY ANTHONY:  Nope, didn’t know that. (counting money) Hey! You guys said $10,000!

OLBERMANN:  How much is there?


OLBERMANN:  (counting his change) I seem to be a little bit short. Hey Al?

Vice President Al Gore walks onto the set counting dollar bills.

AL GORE:  I’ve got a hundred….

CASEY ANTHONY:  What kind of crap is this?

KEITH OLBERMANN:  Uh…the ratings for the new show aren’t what we were expecting. We’re a little short on cash….

CASEY ANTHONY:  (yanking microphone off her shirt) You fat mother f*ckers better get me the rest of my f*cking  money or I’ll have your sorry asses –

At that point the feed went dead.


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