Tyra Banks Brings Meatloaf to His Knees

NEW YORK – In what has become her signature maneuver as an investigative journalist, Tyra Banks was able to psychologically lure-in and then break down singer Meatloaf in a segment on 60 Minutes Sunday night, giving viewers a glimpse inside the angry rock star’s almost pathological preoccupation with his name. Tyra interviewed Meatloaf in front of a live studio audience.

TYRA BANKS: Thank-you for joining me today, Mr. Meatloaf.

MEATLOAF: You’re welcome Tyra. Please, call me Meatloaf.

TYRA BANKS: That is an interesting name, Meatloaf. Did you eat a lot of meatloaf when you were a toddler?

MEATLOAF: Well, no… are you saying I look fat?

TYRA BANKS: Whoa, Mr. Meatloaf! Don’t get all art supply crazy on me now!


TYRA BANKS: So a long time ago you were kind of rock star?

MEATLOAF: Not that long ago, but yes, I guess I was a rock star.

TYRA BANKS: Did you have groupies? Tramps…skanks…or as Charlie Sheen calls them, Goddesses!

MEATLOAF: Sure, there were some gals hangin’ round backstage now and then.

TYRA BANKS: Did you do them?

MEATLOAF: Unlike Charlie Sheen, I don’t want the world to know intimate details of my life.

TYRA BANKS: Well, we sure got an intimate look at your anger last week on Celebrity Apprentice!

MEAT LOAF: That was an unfortunate moment of explosive rage that I regret and am working to understand.

TYRA BANKS: Whoa! That’s kind of spooky ain’t it?

MEAT LOAF: What’s spooky?

TYRA BANKS: That you can get freaky angry like that and not know why.

MEAT LOAF: I didn’t say I don’t know why I got angry. I said I don’t understand where it came from.

TYRA BANKS: Well on TV it looked like it came from you!

MEATLOAF: You don’t understand, I have anger management problems. When you have a problem like I do you need expensive professionals to help you dig deep inside and discover its origin.

TYRA BANKS: Expensive professionals? I can tell you the origin of that anger for free, Mr. Meat … Gary Busey!

MEATLOAF: Please, call me Meatloaf!

TYRA BANKS: Whoa now, Meat! Don’t be gettin’ all anger management on me!



(The studio audience snickers)

MEATLOAF: You’re trying to provoke me! That’s not very professional. How did you get this job, anyway?

TYRA BANKS: My big scrumptious booty got me this job! A couple extra helpings of Tyra never done nobody any harm!

MEATLOAF: Maybe it’s time we ended this conversation

TYRA BANKS: Oh no you don’t Mr. Loaf! Huh-uh, not on my watch!

MEATLOAF: Why the Hell can’t you call me Meatloaf you, you freak!

TYRA BANKS: Freak? (Tyra looks out at her audience wide eyed)

The Studio audience begins booing.

TYRA BANKS: (Stands up and wags her finger at Meatloaf) Huh-uh, Oh no you didn’t!

MEATLOAF: I’ve warned you about my inability to hold back my anger…

TYRA BANKS: Oh, whatcha gonna do to little ole me, Melvin?


TYRA BANKS: That’s right, we looked up your real name, Melvin! Or that’s what it was until you legally changed it to Michael! What is it with you and all those names, Meat?

MEATLOAF: I’m your worst nightmare woman! Look me in the eyes Tyra! Look me in the eyes!

TYRA BANKS: I ain’t gonna do it, Melvin! Huh uh! Not this sexy Mama with some extra scrumptious baggage!

MEATLOAF: Don’t call me Melvin, my name is Marvin! OK, I did change it to Michael but I really wish you would call me Meatloaf!

TYRA BANKS: Yeah, well I want you to meet my big scrumptious booty, Mister Melvin Michael Meatloaf!

MEATLOAF: What is going on? I can’t do this! Lord, give me strength.

TYRA BANKS: Oh my God! Marvin? Are you… crying?

MEATLOAF: For the love of God, why won’t you call me Meatloaf? Why?

TYRA BANKS: Well, this sure is a surprise! (Tyra looks at the audience and points to weeping Meatloaf) Did you folks expect this?

The excited audience yells No!

TYRA BANKS: Whoa! I did not see this comin’ from the Meat man! Well, I guess the only thing to do at this point would be to bring out… GARY BUSEY!!

The studio audience goes crazy. Tyra Banks stands up and looks towards the side of the stage.

MEATLOAF: (Laying on the stage pounding his fists) Why? Why are you doing this? Please, for the love of God, stop!

TYRA BANKS: OK, Ok! I was joking!

MEATLOAF: (looks up from the floor) Huh?

TYRA BANKS: Gary Busey? Huh-uh, not on my stage! That dude is freaky nuts!

The studio audience groans with disappointment.

MEATLOAF: How can you be so cruel?

TYRA BANKS: C’mon, Meat, it’s all in fun! Oh oh…my producers are telling me we’re out of time. I want to thank my special guest, Melvin Meatloaf! C’mon, give it up! And join me next week when I travel to the Vatican to interview Pope Benedict and ask him about all those freaky priests! Goodnight America!

As Tyra shook hands with her fans in the audience, Meatloaf was assisted off the set by several members of an elite team of expensive professional people.




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