Naomi Campbell Beats Herself Unconscious at New York Airport

NEW YORK – Naomi Campbell was arrested at JFK International Airport Thursday night by Port Authority Police and transported to an undisclosed medical facility where she was handcuffed to her hospital bed. Miss Campbell is being charged with aggravated assault, verbal intimidation and disorderly conduct. Criminal defense attorney Nigel Nottingham reassured Miss Campbell’s fans that she will be released on bail tomorrow morning and that medical authorities are keeping her overnight for observation purposes only. He issued a statement this afternoon.

“Naomi Campbell is recuperating from facial lacerations, bruised ribs and a possible hairline fracture of the skull. It has yet to be determined if she has a concussion. She will be kept under observation tonight before she is released early tomorrow morning. At this time I will only say that Miss Campbell is innocent of all charges being brought against her.”

After Naomi Campbell was arrested, fellow travelers had unusual tales of what actually occurred as they waited in the airport terminal.

“I heard someone shrieking. It was a very loud and high-pitched shriek. It resembled a hyena. And then I heard one of those blood curdling squeals that you hear in slasher films. I looked over and saw a woman’s arms flailing and bags flying. There were too many people in the way to really see what was happening. I do know that the flailing woman went down because I saw her legs kicking in the air,” recalled Amanda Petersen of Brooklyn, NY.

“I saw her trip a little bit while she was walking and that seemed to initiate the confrontation,” confided Alice Thomas. Mrs. Thomas was standing with her daughter eating a hot dog when Campbell walked by them.

“She was walking very fast and she stumbled a little, you know, like we all do sometimes. She looked back at the floor to see what she may have tripped over. When she didn’t see anything she began berating herself. She called herself a meaningless nobody. She angrily yelled that she wasn’t worthy of carrying her bags. Then suddenly, she threw her bags on the floor and hysterically yelled at herself to pick them up!” Mrs. Thomas pulled her daughter close.”I’ve never seen anyone treat themselves like that before.”

Harold Watkins was lining up to board his plane when he heard the commotion. He looked up and saw a tall woman with rage in her eyes.

“She violently threw herself against a wall of pay phones, cursing profusely as she pulled herself off the floor. We all gasped when she lifted a telephone receiver and began hitting herself in the head with it. It took several airport security men to separate her from herself. It was brutal.”

One of the arresting NYPD officers said Naomi Campbell assaulted herself, intimidated herself and used profane language to belittled herself. After her arrest she asked an officer to file a hate crimes charge along with the assault and disorderly conduct charges.

Naomi Campbell has had her problems with assault charges in the past. For over a decade she has been accused and convicted of assaulting personal assistants, housekeepers, limo drivers and British constables. Although she once punched a woman in the face for wearing the same dress she was wearing, more often than not her weapon of choice is a telephone, portable and land-line. Countless people have endured Campbell’s insults and threats throughout the years, but this may be the first time Campbell has turned on herself.

In the past, Naomi Campbell has blamed her violent and irrational temper on the resentments she holds towards the father who abandoned her. But a prominent source inside the fashion world said Campbell is not going to stand by and allow herself to use her father as an excuse this time.

After she was released the following day, Nigel Nottingham read aloud a statement from Naomi Campbell:

“I, Naomi Campbell, international model and spokesperson, forgave the man who impregnated my mother, decades ago. I am not going to benefit from a psychological defense that I can prove is fabricated. I will have my day in court and will prove to the international world that I am of sound mind and body. I may be bruised and bloody today, but tomorrow I will stand with my head held high and receive the justice that I deserve.”

On Thursday, Naomi Campbell will unveil her brand new fragrance, Intolerance, at a fundraiser for battered women at Radio City Music Hall.

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One Response to Naomi Campbell Beats Herself Unconscious at New York Airport

  1. Naomi Campbell on June 28, 2011 at 3:17 am

    […] Naomi Campbell Beats Herself Unconscious at New York Airport – The … NEW YORK – After being arrested at JFK International Airport Thursday night, Port Authority Police handcuffed Naomi Campbell to her hospital bed at an undi. […]