WASHINGTON – On Friday afternoon Vice President Biden surprised President Obama with candle-lit cupcakes in celebration of the second anniversary of Obama’s signature healthcare law. The moment was captured in photographs taken by the vice president’s gardener who, along with a couple of interns and maintenance workers, were the sole occupants of the celebration.
White House sources tell the Daily Rash that the vice president was expecting a much more festive atmosphere with hundreds of attendees to commemorate the two-year anniversary. It wasn’t until the last moment that he found out the administration had pulled the plug on a big party. Biden was even more disappointed when President Obama left after just a couple of minutes having eaten just a small bite of his cupcake.
“Vice President Biden had been planning this celebration for a couple of weeks,” revealed a White House source. “Apparently he made the cupcakes and icing from scratch using a secret family recipe.”
Kitchen workers say the vice president slaved diligently till the wee hours every night working to perfect the homemade cupcakes. When he was told there would not be a big celebration workers say he angrily threw a cupcake into the kitchen sink and muttered several vulgar curse words.
Political insiders claim the healthcare law is so toxic that President Obama and Democrats are doing their best to distract the American people by incessantly promoting the illusion that white Republican men have declared a war on women and young men who resemble the president’s make-believe son. Yet White House Press Secretary Jay Carney told the Daily Rash that President Obama’s decision to forgo a healthcare anniversary celebration was based solely on uniting the American people.
“The president is well aware that his healthcare victory is a thorn in the side of a few rogue Republicans. Since he represents all Americans he felt a big celebration might be viewed as divisive.”
A housekeeper said that when Vice President Biden found out that Obama would not be staying long he whispered to the president, “Hey man, I though the healthcare law was a big f*cking deal! Remember when the microphones heard me say that? Huh? What happened? What changed?” The housekeeper said the president jovially patted Biden on the shoulder and marveled at the astounding number of cupcakes he’d produced.
According to staffers the vice president was so crestfallen after President Obama’s early departure that he put a recording of Maria Muldare’s ‘Midnight at the Oasis’ on the stereo and sat alone at a table eating cupcakes as he sang along.Midnight at the oasis Send your camel to bed Got shadows paintin’ our faces And traces of romance in our heads Come on, Cactus is our friend He’ll point out the way C’mon, ’til the evenin’ ends ‘Til the evenin’ ends