Obama Admits Killing Muslims More Fun Than He Expected

WASHINGTON – During his visit with with Chris Matthews on MSNBC’s Hardball, President Obama responded to the host’s hard hitting questions and in-depth scrutiny with surprising candor. Following is a transcript of Chris Matthew’s interview with President Obama.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  President Obama, such a pleasure to to be speaking with you today.

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  The pleasure is all mine, Chris.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Is it really or are you just saying that?

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  Nope, I’m not just saying it. It really is a pleasure to be here.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  You mean to be here at MSNBC studios or here with me?

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  Well, I’m uh, happy to….

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  I don’t mean to put you on the spot, Your Eminence, but …

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  Please, Chris, call me President.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Of course, sir, what did I say? Your Eminence? Oh God! I did not just say that! (Chris slaps himself on forehead)


CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Sheesh! I’m just so, I don’t even know how to describe my feelings. Ha! Look at me, I’m flush! Ha! And my heart is fluttering all over the place and my loin – God, my loin!

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  Settle down Chris. Now, what was it you wanted to ask me.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  I’m so sorry Mr. President. Please, forgive me…

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  Please, Chris, the interview.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  You’re right, Mr. President. OK, where was I? (clears throat) Oh, I know – what about those Republicans booing the gay soldier? Can you believe that?

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  Like I’ve said on several talk shows, Chris, I was appalled at the smallness of the Republican candidates who said nothing when their audience booed that gay soldier.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  It was small, wasn’t it. Small… what a perfect word, sir.

Chris Matthews and President Obama smiled at each other for several seconds.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Mr. President, recently a drone aircraft ended the life of terrorist Anwar al-Awlaki.

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  Boy did it ever! (Obama leans towards Chris Matthews and they exchange an exuberant high-five)

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Well! Obviously you’re quite excited!

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  You know, Chris, I didn’t expect killing militant Muslims to be so much fun!

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Ha Ha! Mr. President!

Matthews and Obama exchange another high-five.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Just to clarify for our audience, I doubt if you mean that it’s fun to kill Muslims…

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  It’s fun to kill militant Muslims, Chris. The bad kind. The nut-bags. The freaks. The bottom feeders. The …

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Sir, I’m sure that you’re proud of our military’s heroic efforts in eliminating our enemies.

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  Of course, Chris. I want to give due credit to our men and women in uniform, be they gay or straight, bisexual or transgender, legal or illegal. But this was a drone mission carried out because I gave the order. Anwar al-Awlaki ended up a gnarled, steaming lump of shredded meat because of my orders, Chris, and I’m going to keep issuing those kinds of orders.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Your orders, I’m confident, are backed by stringent guidelines of protocol and intelligence analysis…

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  My orders are backed with eagerness and an insatiable hunger, Chris. I mean, I’m chomping at the proverbial bit to keep blowing these guys away.

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  Ha! The proverbial bit! So you’re not kidding about it being fun?

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  It’s a hoot!

CHRIS MATTHEWS: Mr. President, what would your message be to the millions of peace loving, law abiding Muslims throughout the world?

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  Live your lives like you normally do. But if you hear the sound of an airplane – you might want to get under a bed or stand in a doorway because if it’s a drone – the sh*t is gonna hit the fan!

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  (puts his hand over his mouth) Mister President!

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  You didn’t know what a bad ass I was, huh Chris?

CHRIS MATTHEWS:  I, uh….you caught me off guard, your Holiness. I mean, I knew you were tough. I’ve seen the photos of you frolicking in the beach, the glistening sea water rolling off your chiseled torso, your rock hard abs….

PRESIDENT OBAMA:  You’re feelin’ the thrill, ain’t ya Chris?


President Obama reaches over and slaps Chris Matthews on his knee.


Chris Matthew’s eyes rolled back into his head and his body began to twitch. Studio personnel rushed to his aid and just minutes later Matthews was smoking a cigarette and assuring everyone that he was OK. President Obama tousled Matthew’s hair and wished him well before leaving the studio.


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