O. J. Simpson Endorses Hillary Clinton

thedailyrash.comLOVELOCK, NEVADA – This morning Al Sharpton interviewed O. J. Simpson at the Lovelock prison in Nevada where Simpson is serving up to 33 years for robbing a man in a Las Vegas hotel. Following is the transcript of the interview that will air Sunday morning on MSNBC’s PoliticsNation.

AL SHARPTON:  Thank you for turning on my show where I host on MSNBC. Today I come to you from the Lovelock prison in Nevada where I will interview a convict. He was a formal NFL running back who murdered his wife and her friend and now he’s incapacitated in this penaltentiary. I welcome to my own show on MSNBC, convict O. J. Simpson.

OJ SIMPSON:  I did not murder my wife, Al.

AL SHARPTON:  You may call me Reverend

OJ:  You can call me Juice.

AL SHARPTON: Mr. Juice, let me begin by asking how you are holding up in prison.

OJ:  Holding up? Is that some kind of joke?

AL SHARPTON:  Why would that be a joke?

OJ:  I’m in prison because they say I held up some guy in a hotel.

AL SHARPTON:  I thought you were in prison for murder.

OJ: No, the jury said I was innocent of those murders.

AL SHARPTON:  Well, I think they said there was not enough evidencery contusions to convictimize you.

OJ:  The jurors voted unanimously, not guilty.

AL SHARPTON:  Is that your real name?

OJ: Is what my real name?thedailyrash.com

AL SHARPTON:  Unanimously.

OJ:  What are you talking about?

AL SHARPTON:  Mr. Juice, I have you on my show today because you told us you want to help Hillary Clinton with her presidential erection.

OJ:  That is true. I have decided to throw my weight behind Hillary.

AL SHARPTON:  (snickering) I think Hillary already has enough weight in her behind to throw around.

(Al Sharpton and O.J. Simpson laugh and share an enthusiastic high five)

OJ:  But in all seriousness, I am endorsing Hillary Clinton because I truly believe she is most qualified to lead our country.

AL SHARPTON:  Does your decision to enforce Hillary have anything to do with her remarks about reducing prison populations?

OJ:  Oh gosh no.

AL SHARPTON:  She has made a point of saying too many African Americans of color are in prison and that things must change.

OJ:  I’ve been saying that since I was incarcerated.

AL SHARPTON:  Have you ever had any problems in prison?

OJ:  Nope.

AL SHARPTON: Ever see anything weird going on in the showers?

OJ:  Nope.

AL SHARPTON:  Nobody ever give you cigarettes or candy, maybe offer to braid your hair?

OJ:  Nope.

 AL SHARPTON:  Maybe it’s because you got so fat.

OJ:  Yeah, I guess I’ve put on a couple of pounds.

AL SHARPTON:  A couple of pounds? You’re a benemoth! Why don’t you lift weights in the yard with the other convicts?

OJ:  I prefer to stay in my cell and eat. I watch a lot of TV.

AL SHARPTON:  I used to be a big fat farm animal like you, but now I’m skinny and I have a young girlfriend. Do you have a girlfriend here in the big house?

OJ:  No. No girls in here.

AL SHARPTON:  I saw a couple of girly men when we walked in. I would guess that after years in a prison even Hillary Clinton would start to look good to you.

(Al Sharpton and O.J. laugh and share a high-five)

AL SHARPTON: Mr. Juice, tell my audience what made you want to help Hillary Clinton with her erection.

OJ:  Well, I admire the way she’s stood by Bill Clinton all these years. I really respect that. A couple of girlfriends wasn’t the end of the world.

AL SHARPTON:  Are you talking about Bill’s girlfriends or hers?

(Simpson and Sharpton laugh and share a high-five)

AL SHARPTON:  How do you feel about the actions of Hillary Clinton when she was Obama’s secretary and those four people died in By-golly?

OJ: By immediately blaming a YouTube video for the murders in Benghazi, she took the heat off herself. It was brilliant.

AL SHARPTON:  Mr. Juice, what made you want to become a political aviator?

OJ:  When I heard that Virginia was allowing 200,000 convicted felons to vote I decided it was my duty to serve my country.

AL SHARPTON:  How do you plan to do that?

thedailyrash.comOJ:  If Hillary promises to grant me a pardon when she becomes president I will personally guarantee every man in this prison registers to vote and votes for Hillary.

AL SHARPTON:  Is it true that Hillary Clinton has contacted you?

OJ:  I can’t say too much at this point, but I can tell you that this time next year I hope to be playing golf in Florida.

AL SHARPTON: What else do you plan to do as a free man?

OJ:  Oh, I don’t know. I’d like to meet a nice girl and chill out on the beach. I really just want to relax and enjoy my life.

thedailyrash.comAL SHARPTON:  You told our producers that if Hillary Clinton pardons you, your first priority would be to track down the person who killed your wife.

OJ: (slaps his forehead) I knew I was forgetting something! Yeah, finding the real killer will definitely be my number one priority. Priority number one. No doubt.

AL SHARPTON:  Uh, huh. And when that happens I’ll confess that I lied about Tawana Brawley. Hell, I’ll even pay back the millions I owe in taxes!

(Al Sharpton and O.J. Simpson howl with laughter and share an enthusiastic high-five)

AL SHARPTON:  Thank-you, Mr. Juice, for being on my show where I host. And give my best to Hillary.

OJ:  Will do.

 

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22 Responses to O. J. Simpson Endorses Hillary Clinton

  1. Roy Coats on June 26, 2016 at 9:08 pm

    Who cares who he endorses???

  2. Wylde Byll on June 29, 2016 at 2:28 pm

    Maybe if O.J. gets he’ll take another stab at marriage.

    • gladys on August 11, 2016 at 6:15 pm

      Great statement!

  3. Wylde Byll on June 29, 2016 at 2:28 pm

    Maybe if O.J. gets out he’ll take another stab at marriage.

  4. Just a girl on June 29, 2016 at 6:41 pm

    jeez louise. I thought this was for real.

  5. Just a girl on June 29, 2016 at 6:43 pm

    It took forever to leave my comment. you might want to fix that. or not

  6. Keoni May on August 11, 2016 at 9:57 am

    Looking at his eyes, hearing that he doesn’t leave his cell much, and he doesn’t walk the same anymore, he must have too much testosterone inside him.

  7. SLONA on August 11, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    THIS WAS LIKE THE AMOS AND ANY SHOW === LIKE FRICK AND FRACK == TWO DUMB ASSES FEEDING OF ONE ANOTHER === NOT WORTHY OF TV OR THE PRESS >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> JURYS HAVE BEEN WRONG IN MANY CASES !!

  8. Ron Hutton on August 12, 2016 at 12:17 pm

    Just because he will get out if he will !!! he is still F n stupid

  9. Morris Bellybutton on August 12, 2016 at 2:09 pm

    ALL YOUR COMMENTS ARE FUNNIER THAN THE ONE WE ALL READ. YOU ALL TOOK THIS SERIOUSLY AS THE TRUTH. THAT IS FUNNY. DON’T YOU KNOW A SPOOF WHEN YOU SEE ONE?

  10. Ben Novick on August 12, 2016 at 2:35 pm

    Now, we know the meaning of the “N” word.

  11. Dwight on August 13, 2016 at 12:55 am

    It’s a parody people. lol

  12. Gonzalo on August 13, 2016 at 12:57 pm

    Vote Trump or die of repugnance!!

  13. Mary on August 13, 2016 at 1:27 pm

    Guess he figures if he ever does get out he will need all those freebies that the Democrats dish out.Heaven forbid somebody like that would vote for somebody that actually puts people to work.

  14. larry on August 13, 2016 at 6:13 pm

    When HELL freezes over!

  15. Donna McGoldrick Milk on August 13, 2016 at 9:26 pm

    Because we care?

  16. agnesburnham on August 14, 2016 at 2:08 am

    Birds of a feather

  17. Vicky on August 14, 2016 at 6:55 am

    LMAO! Is anyone surprised?? Consider the source! One POS scum bag murderer supports another! Who cares anyway!

  18. LAURIE on August 14, 2016 at 7:38 am

    THAT WAS THE MOST REDICULOUS CONVERSATION I EVER HEARD WHO CARES WHAT OJ SIMPSON THINKS ABOUT ANYTHING.

  19. Patricia Grayson on August 14, 2016 at 9:58 pm

    “…what made you want to become a political aviator?” come on, it’s satire

  20. Lu mahalo on September 6, 2016 at 1:46 pm

    Heck, the entire OJ jury (Hillary lemmings) will be voting for her.

  21. Juice on October 13, 2016 at 8:21 pm

    How does ANYONE believe this “interview” is real? By God, I’m not sure Who Mr. Juice will enforce for the erection, but I highly doubt even Sharpton would waste his time finding out! Or high-fiving him about Hillary’s weight-gain! Regardless, Hill-arious.

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