NORTH CAROLINA – In a shocking turn of events for the Herman Cain campaign, a Carrboro, North Carolina man says that his gravely ill mother confessed to him on her death bed that Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain is his biological father. Delashaun Friedman, a former shoe salesman who...
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WASHINGTON – Yet another Herman Cain scandal has been unearthed by the Politico news organization. The website reports that two women, who ask to remain anonymous, have come forward and said that in the late nineties Republican presidential candidate, Herman Cain, beat them senseless with a frozen turkey after...
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INDIANAPOLIS – After inundating Americans last week with dire warnings that rapes and murders would escalate out of control unless Republicans agreed to pass Obama’s jobs bill, Vice President Biden told students at a junior high school in Indianapolis that the beating, sodomizing and killing of Moammar Gaddafi is...
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WASHINGTON, DC – The White House announced today that President Barack Obama will step down as the President of the United States so that he can focus on winning the 2012 Democratic presidential nomination. White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney, said the President plans to make an official announcement...
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AMUNDSEN-SCOTT, ANTARCTICA – In the tradition of some of the most ardent revolutionaries throughout history, 32 year-old Steinar Skramstad isn’t allowing inconvenient circumstances to hinder his steadfast determination to lead the charge for change in Antarctica. Protesting by himself in mind numbing -50 degree temperatures outside his parents’ home,...
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NEW YORK – In between fundraisers for his presidential campaign, Texas Congressman Ron Paul found the time to make an appearance at the Occupy Wall Street protests in lower Manhattan yesterday where he apparently handed out LSD tabs to protesters. A spokesperson for the Ron Paul for President committee...
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CARRBORO, NC – Two weeks ago Bernard Angelopoulos was sitting in his dad’s favorite recliner watching VH1′s ‘Celebrity Rehab’ hoping the show would distract him from thinking about his broken PlayStation. After weeks of determined diligence, Bernard was on the verge of winning the Masters Classic Tournament on SEGA’s...
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WASHINGTON – During an interview yesterday with Chris Matthews on MSNBC’s Hardball, President Obama responded to the host’s hard hitting questions and in-depth scrutiny with surprising candor. Following is a transcript of Chris Matthew’s interview with President Obama. CHRIS MATTHEWS: President Obama, such a pleasure to to be speaking...
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JACKSON, GEORGIA – As family, friends and death penalty protesters mourned the execution of convicted murderer Troy Davis, prison executioner Rob Sterling was on a plane back to his home in southern California, sipping a beer and reading Here’s the Story, a tell-all book by Maureen “Marcia Brady” McCormick....
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LOS ANGELES – A clean and sober Charlie Sheen took to the stage Sunday night at the 2011 Emmy Awards in Los Angeles to present the award for outstanding lead actor in a comedy series. In stark contrast to his recent warlock persona, Sheen’s demeanor was laden with humility...
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NEEDLES, CA – The speculation that a supervisor at a glass eye factory is contemplating transferring from the second shift to the first shift has filled many of the company’s other employees with trepidation. Shift Supervisor Willimet Kendrix confided to friends that she is indeed deliberating a transfer to...
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WASHINGTON – Reports of trouble brewing between President Obama and Hillary Clinton have been spreading like wild fire from reliable sources inside the beltway. Washington insiders say the rumors have the potential of erupting into a full blown scandal. On Thursday Hillary and Bill Clinton attended an informal luncheon...
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WASHINGTON – White House press secretary Jay Carney announced today that Vice President Joe Biden will be performing a dance interpretation of President Obama’s job speech during Thursday night’s address to the Joint Session of Congress. Carney said that Obama and Biden have been rehearsing their speech/dance performance at...
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NORTH CAROLINA – In a shocking turn of events for the Herman Cain campaign, a Carrboro, North Carolina man...
Read Story »
WASHINGTON – Yet another Herman Cain scandal has been unearthed by the Politico news organization. The website reports that...
Read Story »
INDIANAPOLIS – After inundating Americans last week with dire warnings that rapes and murders would escalate out of control...
Read Story »
WASHINGTON, DC – The White House announced today that President Barack Obama will step down as the President of...
Read Story »
AMUNDSEN-SCOTT, ANTARCTICA – In the tradition of some of the most ardent revolutionaries throughout history, 32 year-old Steinar Skramstad...
Read Story »
NEW YORK – In between fundraisers for his presidential campaign, Texas Congressman Ron Paul found the time to make...
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CARRBORO, NC – Two weeks ago Bernard Angelopoulos was sitting in his dad’s favorite recliner watching VH1′s ‘Celebrity Rehab’...
Read Story »
WASHINGTON – During an interview yesterday with Chris Matthews on MSNBC’s Hardball, President Obama responded to the host’s hard...
Read Story »
JACKSON, GEORGIA – As family, friends and death penalty protesters mourned the execution of convicted murderer Troy Davis, prison...
Read Story »
LOS ANGELES – A clean and sober Charlie Sheen took to the stage Sunday night at the 2011 Emmy...
Read Story »
NEEDLES, CA – The speculation that a supervisor at a glass eye factory is contemplating transferring from the second...
Read Story »
WASHINGTON – Reports of trouble brewing between President Obama and Hillary Clinton have been spreading like wild fire from...
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PARIS – The Chief Executive of cosmetics giant L’Oreal, Jean-Paul Agon, announced today that Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones will be the new 2012 Maybelline Spokesmodel. As runway models received last minute make-up and garment adjustments backstage at the annual Fashion Cares charity event in Paris, Jean-Paul explained the “genius” behind using Mr....
NITRO, WEST VIRGINIA – Former singer and actor Meat Loaf has changed his name to Darryl and opened a hardware store in the small town of Nitro, West Virginia. Nestled beside the Kanawha River, Nitro is just north of Charleston and has a population of around 7,000. Residents are very excited about the new...
LOS ANGELES – International rock star and celebrity Gordon Sumner, known around the world as Sting, admitted on the Tyra Banks Show that for the past twenty-five years he’s been having an affair with himself. Audience members gasped, some even running from the studio holding their stomachs. One woman said that she found herself...
HOLLYWOOD – With only days left until Halloween, when neighbors and friends treat each other to candies and scary costumes, a publicist told MSNBC and ABC reporters that Burt Reynolds is going to be auctioning off his original face on Ebay at six in the morning on Wednesday. “Just in time for Halloween festivities,”...
NY Times Calls Obama Bicycle Photos “Rugged Masculinity Gone Wild!”NEW YORK – In an editorial on Monday, New York Times editors gushed over...
Large Naked Pedophile Celebrates Release of Roman PolanskiBEAVERTON, OREGON – Rod Sterling has been the assistant manager of Beaverton’s Chuck E....
7-Eleven Offers Prostate Exam with Slurpee and Chili Dog PurchaseDALLAS – Top executives at 7-Eleven announced today that the company will implement prostate...
Crocs – Shoes for People Who’ve Given UpNew York – A study just released by Columbia University shows that people who...
