Russell Crowe Champions Foreskin

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – International movie star Russell Crowe has thrown down the gauntlet regarding what he refers to as the “barbaric and stupid” act of circumcision. Spreading his message via Twitter yesterday, the Academy Award winning actor lashed out against removing the foreskin from newborn babies and those who perform the procedure. He included a shot at his Jewish friends; “many jewish friends, I love my Jewish friends, I love the apples and the honey and the funny little hats but stop cutting yr babies…” After his messages went viral Crowe quickly backpedaled, apologizing to anyone misinterpreting his remarks and promising to purchase yarmulkes for disadvantaged Jewish boys all over the world.

On the heels of a recent attempt to make circumcision illegal in Santa Monica, Russell Crowe’s protest is just one example of an ever growing throng of people who are desperate to participate in a cause that will allow them to interfere in the lives of others. Although the initiative in Santa Monica failed, voters in San Francisco will soon be able to weigh in, as a measure to ban male circumcision is on the ballot for the upcoming November election. Because of the growing number of voices joining the fight, more and more men are coming out of the shadows and going public with the devastating ramifications of being circumcised.

Eddie Meringue, a 39 year-old student at Los Angeles City College, is seriously considering changing his major from “Empathy, Sympathy and Understanding” to a category that would include researching the correlation between circumcision and the inability to earn a living in today’s ruthless, dog-eat-dog world.

“I know for a fact that if my careless and self-absorbed parents hadn’t blindly and obediently had me circumcised I would have had more initiative in life,” Eddie said between classes yesterday. “Because of their psychotic preoccupation with my penis, I’ve had to grapple with self-doubt my entire life. If I still had my foreskin there is no doubt in my mind, absolutely no doubt, that I would be a very successful heart surgeon with a beautiful wife. That little piece of skin is so important. So God damned important.”

Latrell Johnston was just released from the Los Angeles County lock-up in April. He recently made news when he filed for disability benefits for the “psychological trauma” he’s endured since he was “callously circumcised” as an infant.

“I’ve been a criminal my whole life because I was mutilated by a doctor before I was bundled in swaddling clothes. If I had not been circumcised I think I could have been a motivational speaker. But after they viciously carved off my foreskin, I was condemned to a life of crime. I deserve compensation.”

Reliving the pain of circumcision

Darrin Doolittle of Carrboro, North Carolina, runs a crisis center that helps men move past the trauma of being circumcised when they were infants.

“Society has turned a blind eye to the savagery involved with circumcising baby boys. I personally remember being circumcised at birth and I wouldn’t wish that kind of pain on anybody. We are here to comfort men who are despondent because they don’t have foreskin. We have a support group on Fridays where we wear condoms under our clothes and we sit around and talk, pretending that we have foreskin. It’s just amazing to watch the men begin to change. Their confidence grows, their enthusiasm swells and their lust for life throbs. It’s breathtaking.”

After tweeting “circumcision is barbaric and stupid. Who are you to correct nature?” and “I will always stand for the perfection of babies, I will always believe in God” Russell Crowe added that, “abortion should always be a woman’s choice, there is no benefit to ‘forced’ motherhood…you got it?”

Crowe’s publicist explained –

“You’re not correcting nature when you get an abortion, you’re correcting a mistake.”

Next Tuesday afternoon Russell Crowe will be attending a pro-abortion fund raiser in Los Angeles and that evening he’ll be protesting circumcision outside Cedars Sinai Medical Center. He will be signing autographs at both events.

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