Just a week ago Georgetown University student Sandra Fluke was a normal thirty year-old law student grappling with the daily troubles of being a young woman in today’s complicated world. Sandra was pulling all-nighters cramming for exams, attending meetings for Law Students for Reproductive Justice, going to movies, partying with friends and somehow, finding the time to donate plasma at a blood center for the $25 stipend that enabled her to purchase enough birth control to get her through the weekend.
But in the past week Sandra has testified at a Democratic-sponsored congressional hearing alongside House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi, was called a slut by conservative radio personality Rush Limbaugh, has appeared on dozens of national talk shows and to top it all off, she received a telephone call from President Obama. On Friday Sandra was interviewed by Andrea Mitchell on MSNBC where she was asked about her personal call from President Obama. MSNBC aired an edited version of the interview but the Daily Rash was able to obtain a copy of the unedited transcript that contains a number of intriguing omissions. Following is the unedited version of that interview.
ANDREA MITCHELL: So, a phone call from the President of the United States!
ANDREA MITCHELL: What was that like, Sandra?
SANDRA: (blushing) Oh, I was so embarrassed!
ANDREA MITCHELL: Why would you be embarrassed?
SANDRA: Well, I was having sex and when I answered my cell phone…
ANDREA MITCHELL: You were having sex in the green room?
SANDRA: I know, probably not a good idea huh?
ANDREA MITCHELL: Who… uh, with who?
SANDRA: Some cleaning guy. He said he had some birth control and offered to share with me.
ANDREA MITCHELL: You had sex with our custodian because he had birth control?
SANDRA: Do you have any idea how difficult it is for a woman to get that stuff?
SANDRA: Oh, he was so sweet. He was worried that his call may have interfered with me reaching an orgasm.
ANDREA MITCHELL: President Obama was worried …
SANDRA: I assured him I’d had a couple of awesome ones before he called and that my needs had been met. He said he was happy for me.
ANDREA MITCHELL: President Obama was happy you had an orgasm?
SANDRA: Yeah. He said my family must be very proud of me.
ANDREA MITCHELL: Yes, your family. Can I assume they were excited about the President calling?
SANDRA: Well, my dad was a little concerned at first.
ANDREA MITCHELL: Concerned?
SANDRA: Yeah, he was worried the President’s call might have obstructed my potential for reaching an orgasm. You know how dads can be.
SANDRA: Yep! Yesterday I got a copy of Walt Whitman’s Leaves of Grass from President Clinton. His note said he was eager to meet me the next time Hillary was out of the country.
ANDREA MITCHELL: Oh my.
SANDRA: And I’ve been getting text messages from Congressman Weiner for a couple of days.
ANDREA MITCHELL: Former Congressman Anthony Weiner?
SANDRA: Yeah! He said he found it was really hard imagining how brave and pretty I was.
ANDREA MITCHELL: OK, uh… (clears her throat) You, uh … also got a call from Reverend Jesse Jackson?
ANDREA MITCHELL: Oh?
ANDREA MITCHELL: Well, that’s understandable.
ANDREA MITCHELL: So what are your plans now, young Lady?
SANDRA: I’m just going to go home and party. It’s going to be such a relief not to have to worry about obtaining birth control this weekend.
ANDREA MITCHELL: Well it’s definitely a time for celebration. You’ve gotten the attention of some mighty powerful men. It must feel good.
SANDRA: Oh, for sure! All the guys have been so supportive and offered to do anything to make sure my needs are fulfilled. Like Congressman Weiner told me, it’s my country’s responsibility to ensure that my insatiable urge to fornicate is paid for. He said it’s guaranteed in the Constitution.