Posts Tagged ‘ al gore ’

Hillary Clinton Performs Hilarious Stroke Victim Impersonation at U.N.

Hillary Clinton Performs Hilarious Stroke Victim Impersonation at U.N.

NEW YORK – In a rare display of lighthearted spontaneity at a United Nation’s Women’s Rights conference last week, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton followed her impassioned speech with a comical “stroke victim” impersonation that triggered a raucous response from delegates and conference guests. Howling laughter permeated the General Assembly Hall during Mrs....
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Vice President Biden Admits He Occasionally Takes Out Payday Loans

Vice President Joe Biden visited with Al Sharpton this morning on MSNBC where he spoke candidly about Hillary Clinton, his 2016 presidential aspirations and the financial hardships his family has faced since becoming the vice president. Following is a transcript of that discussion which will air this evening on Sharpton’s show, PoliticsNation, on MSNBC....
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White House Admits Obama Listens to NSA Surveillance of American Citizens

WASHINGTON – During his final press briefing from behind the White House podium Wednesday, departing White House Press Secretary Jay Carney acknowledged that President Obama occasionally listens in on the phone calls of American citizens being monitored by the NSA. Carney said the president’s participation is sporadic and is strictly for amusement and educational...
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Biden Says Released Detainees More Focused on Climate Change Than Jihad

WASHINGTON – While speaking to seniors about shotgun ownership at the Eternal Cul-de-Sac retirement home in Bethesda this morning, Vice President Biden was interrupted several times with questions about President Obama releasing five Guantanamo detainees in exchange for American prisoner, Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl. Each time the vice president brought the conversation back to the...
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Al Gore Slams Vatican Over Use of Deadly Smoke Signals

Al Gore Slams Vatican Over Use of Deadly Smoke Signals

NASHVILLE – Former Vice President Al Gore lashed out at the Vatican this morning, calling the tradition of releasing smoke into the atmosphere during papal conclave voting “fundamentally negligent” and “grossly inappropriate.” He also questioned the morality behind using what he called the “ancient pagan ritual of carbon emissions worship” in order to advance...
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Al Gore Trapped in Blizzard En Route to Climate Fundraiser

CHICAGO – Former vice president and current global warming superstar, Albert Arnold Gore Jr., was trapped in his limousine on Chicago’s Lake Shore Drive last night for thirty minutes after the limo slid into a twelve foot snowbank. Although Mr. Gore did not receive any physical injuries, his driver said that Mr. Gore may...
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Keith Olbermann Lands First Interview with Casey Anthony

Keith Olbermann Lands First Interview with Casey Anthony

NEW YORK – Before the cancellation of his show on Al Gore’s television network Current TV, Keith Olbermann scored a major coup when he landed the first, and thus far, only interview with Casey Anthony after she was acquitted of murdering her little girl. Anthony accepted the interview request after Olbermann and Gore promised...
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Dan Rather Found Wandering the Desert in a Blanket

Dan Rather Found Wandering the Desert in a Blanket

MOUNT NEBO, JORDAN – Jordanian officials say they discovered American newsman Dan Rather wandering aimlessly in the desert wearing nothing but a blanket, purple Crocs and a Fez hat. Officials said when they approached Rather that he saluted and then apologized for not wearing a cowboy hat. “He touched his head and then looked...
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Al Gore Addicted to Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation

NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE – Tipper Gore broke her silence this week and opened up about her divorce from former Vice President Al Gore. In an interview with Vibe magazine, Tipper shocked many people close to the family when she disclosed startling details of Al Gore’s predilection for kinky sex. According to the article, husband Al’s...
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Al Gore Becomes A Priest, Plans To Build Ark

WASHINGTON – During an appearance on MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Matthews, Al Gore revealed that prior to divorcing his wife Tipper he was ordained a Catholic priest. He added that he plans to spend the rest of his life listening to confessions “before the impending global warming apocalypse kills everyone on the planet.” A...
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