Posts Tagged ‘ Al-Qaeda ’

Roving Bands of Ducks Terrorize Chicago

CHICAGO – At a press conference today in Daley Plaza, Chicago Police Chief Garry McCarthy assured this terrified city that his officers and federal agents were diligently working to subdue the diabolical ducks that have been preying on citizens and tourists for the past several months. Chief McCarthy was quick to add that intelligence...
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Osama bin Laden’s Dream of Owning Dairy Queen Franchise Thwarted

Osama bin Laden’s Dream of Owning Dairy Queen Franchise Thwarted

ABBOTTABAD, PAKISTAN – After innumerable years of killing innocent people, dwelling in caves, riding camels in the dead of night and eating more than his fair share of leftovers, sources close to Osama bin Laden say he was just weeks away from turning over a new leaf before U.S. Navy Seals blew his face...
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Obama Fires Petraeus, Gary Busey to Lead War in Afghanistan

WASHINGTON – After firing Stanley McChrystal and announcing at a White House press conference that he would be replacing him with General David Petraeus, President Obama retracted his statements an hour later on the Nancy Grace Show, saying he was instead going to nominate Gary Busey to replace Petraeus, who’d just replaced McChrystal. President...
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