Posts Tagged ‘ AppleBees ’

Jesus Christ Signs With Denver Broncos for $100 Million

Jesus Christ Signs With Denver Broncos for $100 Million

DENVER – The Denver Broncos announced today that they’ve signed Jesus Christ to a one year, $100 million contract to play an unspecified position on their football team. After Sunday’s win over the Chicago Bears, Broncos owner Pat Bowlen met with Mr. Christ over cocktails at a downtown Denver AppleBee’s where he persuaded the...
Read Story »

Chaz Bono Suspected of Being Mafia Crime Boss

Chaz Bono Suspected of Being Mafia Crime Boss

LAS VEGAS – A confidential source says the FBI is investigating Chaz Bono, daughter of entertainers Sonny and Cher, for alleged connections to organized crime. The source said that Bono may hold a high position of power in the chain of command that comprises the families that rule organized crime in America. The source...
Read Story »

Another Obama Speech Writer Dies From Exhaustion

Washington, DC – The White House announced today that another Obama speechwriter has died from exhaustion. Anderson Bartholomew Andersen Jr. was found lying on the floor of his Washington, DC office. District of Columbia M.E. spokesperson, David Ogden Russell, read a statement to reporters: “Anderson Bartholomew Andersen Jr. was found by janitorial people lying...
Read Story »

Al Gore Postpones Copenhagen to Hear Tiger Woods Confess

JUNIPER ISLAND, FL – Over the weekend, Vice President Al Gore postponed a lucrative trip to Copenhagen so he might convince golf impresario Tiger Woods to confess to him. Gore told reporters that at this point in his life, a confession from Tiger Woods would be “even more important” to him than the global...
Read Story »