Posts Tagged ‘ CNN ’

Obama Appoints Reverend Al Sharpton Global Warming Czar

WASHINGTON – During this morning’s White House briefing Jay Carney confirmed President Obama will appoint Al Sharpton to be the administration’s new Global Warming Czar. Carney said the president was astonished at the scientific brilliance Sharpton displayed when he explained man-made climate change earlier this week on MSNBC. “The president happened to tune into...
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Al Sharpton’s New Book Sells Over a Dozen Copies in Less Than a Month

NEW YORK – Reverend Al Sharpton’s new book, “The Rejected Stone: Al Sharpton and the Path to American Leadership” appears to be on an unshakable trajectory to success, according to its author. Since its release less than 30 days ago the revered civil rights leader’s long awaited memoir has already sold 18 copies. A...
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Obama: I’ll Give Up My Shotgun When They Pry it From My Cold Dead Hands

MINNEAPOLIS – The White House was still responding to questions yesterday morning about the photo released last week of President Obama firing his shotgun. When asked by reporters why the White House would circulate the photograph three days prior to Obama’s trip to Minnesota to give a speech on gun violence, Press Secretary Jay...
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Obama Fires Petraeus, Gary Busey to Lead War in Afghanistan

WASHINGTON – After firing Stanley McChrystal and announcing at a White House press conference that he would be replacing him with General David Petraeus, President Obama retracted his statements an hour later on the Nancy Grace Show, saying he was instead going to nominate Gary Busey to replace Petraeus, who’d just replaced McChrystal. President...
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Arizona Police Waterboard Shakira

PHOENIX, ARIZONA – Phoenix Police Chief Jack Harris confirmed today that Phoenix police officers have detained international singing sensation, Shakira. Sheriff Deputies pulled over Shakira’s limousine en route to Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. Witnesses say that Shakira was shocked when the police politely asked her to remove herself from the limousine and produce documents...
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Slaughter in Libya, Nightmare in Japan, Obama Goes Golfing

Slaughter in Libya, Nightmare in Japan, Obama Goes Golfing

WASHINGTON – When told that the potential of a meltdown at Japanese nuclear plants is increasing at a distressing rate, President Obama shook his head in disappointment before grabbing his clubs and heading to the golf course. As he was leaving the President told reporters that nuclear leaks and tsunamis are “unfortunate” and he...
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