Posts Tagged ‘ dysfunctional famlies ’

Amy Winehouse’s Dad Begins His Singing Tour Day After Funeral

Amy Winehouse’s Dad Begins His Singing Tour Day After Funeral

LONDON – Just two days before his singing debut at the infamous Blue Note jazz club in Greenwich Village, Mitch Winehouse was told his daughter Amy had died from a drug overdose. After a heated discussion with his new managers, agents and publicists, Mitch begrudgingly cancelled his shows and returned to London for the...
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Maury Povich Guest Claims Maria Shriver Bore His Child

Maury Povich Guest Claims Maria Shriver Bore His Child

Yesterday on daytime television’s Maury, host Maury Povich informed his audience that his guest would be the former gardener for Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. When Maury said that the gardener would claim that former first lady of California, Maria Shriver, bore his child, the studio audience gasped and began squirming in their seats. Aware of...
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Kobe Bryant’s Homosexual Slur Leaves Many Americans Despondent

Kobe Bryant’s Homosexual Slur Leaves Many Americans Despondent

LOS ANGELES –  Toni Timberlake sat on the patio of his favorite West Hollywood Starbucks gloomily sipping his third Iced Peppermint White Chocolate Mocha. As community members sauntered down Santa Monica Blvd, he observed that their steps were missing their usual fun-loving bounce. Their faces, normally filled with lusty eagerness and anticipation, lacked expression,...
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Afghan Man Reschedules Stoning Wife to Avenge Koran Burning

Afghan Man Reschedules Stoning Wife to Avenge Koran Burning

AFGHANISTAN – Last week Chaghcharan “Cha-Cha” Mahmoud was in his backyard choosing the stones that he would use to kill his wife. The previous day Cha-Cha had been told by his brothers and several local men that his wife had smiled when she thanked the man at the fruit stand for giving her a...
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Excess Fecal Weight Almost Destroyed My Marriage

Excess Fecal Weight Almost Destroyed My Marriage

NEEDLES, CALIFORNIA – Until recently, excessive fecal weight had rarely been considered a culprit in the breakdown of a marriage. The idea that they might be hauling around an exorbitant wealth of fecal excess didn’t concern most people. Most Americans were oblivious to the undermining effect a bounty of inner sludge might be having...
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Jay Cutler’s Grandmother Calls Him a Pussy on Local Sports Show

Jay Cutler’s Grandmother Calls Him a Pussy on Local Sports Show

CHICAGO – After a bruising loss to the Green Bay Packers in the NFC Conference Championship, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler told reporters he was very disappointed that his teammates were not able to get him to the Super Bowl. Cutler left the game early in the third quarter due to a mysterious knee...
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‘Parallel Parking with the Stars’ Debuts on NBC

‘Parallel Parking with the Stars’ Debuts on NBC

HOLLYWOOD – In a vigorous effort to compete with Dancing with the Stars, Skating with the Stars and American Idol, NBC announced the premier of their new celebrity competition series Parallel Parking With The Stars, which debuts in February. With a newly structured no-holds-barred, winner-take-all approach, NBC is confident ‘Parallel Parking with the Stars’...
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Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece Arrested, Held Without Bail

Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece Arrested, Held Without Bail

NEW YORK – Charlie Sheen’s publicist told reporters today that Charlie was a victim not the culprit in Tuesday’s drunken, drug induced debacle at New York’s Plaza Hotel. The publicist had originally said that Charlie’s actions were due to an allergic reaction to medication, but now asserts that Sheen’s hairpiece caused him get drunk,...
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Doctors Warn Frank Sinatra Jr. He’s Going to Explode

Doctors Warn Frank Sinatra Jr. He’s Going to Explode

ATLANTIC CITY – According to his friends and relatives, Frank Sinatra Jr. is getting his house in order. As his neighbors peer nervously through drawn curtains, gawking motorists slow to a crawl in front of the singer’s home with hopes of catching a glimpse of Frank Sinatra’s only son. According to his gardener, ever...
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Family Refused to Allow Gulf Oil Spill Ruin Beach Vacation

GULF OF MEXICO – After a fun filled day of snorkeling and water skiing in the Gulf of Mexico, the Dunlap family was exhausted. Herb and Stella Dunlap almost canceled their beach vacation in 2010 after the large oil spill in the Gulf. After family and friends warned that it might be too dangerous...
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