Posts Tagged ‘ Facebook ’

Study Finds Use of Gang Signs by Middle Class Whites on the Rise

Study Finds Use of Gang Signs by Middle Class Whites on the Rise

PRINCETON, NEW JERSEY – A recent study by the Department of Sociology at Princeton found that up to 98% of middle class white adults flash or “throw” gang signs when they are being photographed. The three year study also reveals that 99.9% of those throwing the gang signs have never been in a gang,...
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Obama Furious After Vladimir Putin Unfriends Him on Facebook

WASHINGTON – The turmoil that was generated between Russia and the United States after President Vladimir Putin granted asylum to Edward Snowden last month escalated even further when President Obama cancelled his private meeting with the Russian president before September’s G-20 conference of world economic leaders in St. Petersburg. But the delicate fragments of...
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Casey Anthony Reaches Out to Moammar Khadafi

Casey Anthony Reaches Out to Moammar Khadafi

FLORIDA – At an unknown location in Florida the past several weeks, Casey Anthony lay awake at night wishing, hoping, even praying for a loving man. Since being acquitted of murdering her two year-old daughter, Casey has suffered greatly from the gnawing pangs of her carnal demands. But because the media has refused to...
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Gerard Depardieu Accused of Defecating on City Bus

Gerard Depardieu Accused of Defecating on City Bus

DUBLIN – Less than two years after he made national news for urinating on the cabin floor of a commercial airliner, French movie star Gerard Depardieu stunned passengers on a Dublin bus yesterday when he dropped his pants and defecated in the aisle. Bus driver Peter Flanagan told authorities that Depardieu was making “all...
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Roving Bands of Ducks Terrorize Chicago

CHICAGO – At a press conference today in Daley Plaza, Chicago Police Chief Garry McCarthy assured this terrified city that his officers and federal agents were diligently working to subdue the diabolical ducks that have been preying on citizens and tourists for the past several months. Chief McCarthy was quick to add that intelligence...
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Man Kills Facebook Friend Over Mundane, Day in the Life Comments

SEATTLE – Talbert Wilcox pleaded not guilty in a Seattle Municipal Court yesterday to charges that he killed his childhood friend, Marshall Dimmrod. Mr. Wilcox told the court that although he did kill Marshall Dimmrod, it was because Dimmrod drove him insane with “incessant, mundane, day-in-the-life Facebook comments.” Wilcox’s defense counsel told the court...
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