Posts Tagged ‘ humor ’

Joe Biden Speaks at Michigan Mosque Wearing a Burqa

DEARBORN, MI – After being under under the radar for the past several weeks, Vice President Biden spoke at the ‘Eye for an Eye’ mosque in Dearborn this afternoon dressed in a burqa. The vice president’s visit to commemorate the mosque’s twenty-fifth anniversary fit conveniently between his fundraiser this morning at the Forever Twilight...
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Biden Says Department of Homeland Security Crawling with Lesbians

WASHINGTON – With the demonstrations and subsequent military coup in Egypt drawing the bulk of the media’s attention this week, reports that a senior official at the Department of Homeland Security had resigned Saturday amid accusations of employment discrimination and sexual harassment were overlooked by the majority of news agencies. The official, Suzanne Barr,...
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Joe Biden Calls Michelle Obama’s New Hairstyle Ghetto Chic

WASHINGTON – At last night’s White House State Dinner honoring former D.C. Mayor Marion Barry, Vice President Biden managed to ignite a bit of a firestorm during his address to the honoree and distinguished guests. After thanking Mayor Barry for his public service and congratulating him on his many accomplishments, the vice president strayed...
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Joe Biden: ‘It’s Just Easier to Blow Someone’s Brains Out with a Shotgun’

WASHINGTON – While participating in an online forum on Facebook this week, Vice President Biden was asked whether law-abiding citizens would be left defenseless by federal bans on assault weapons and high-capacity ammunition magazines. Mr. Biden looked into the camera and told the questioner that if she wanted to protect herself she should get a...
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Joe Biden Admits Taking Viagra Before Attending State of the Union Address

WASHINGTON – During Tuesday night’s State of the Union address Vice President Biden admitted to Speaker of the House John Boehner that he’d accidentally taken Viagra pills before arriving for the event. This morning, after giving a talk on shotgun ownership to seniors at a Bethesda nursing home, the vice president came clean when...
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White House Admits Obama Listens to NSA Surveillance of American Citizens

WASHINGTON – During his final press briefing from behind the White House podium Wednesday, departing White House Press Secretary Jay Carney acknowledged that President Obama occasionally listens in on the phone calls of American citizens being monitored by the NSA. Carney said the president’s participation is sporadic and is strictly for amusement and educational...
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Obama Chastises First Lady Over Unsightly Panty Lines

Obama Chastises First Lady Over Unsightly Panty Lines

WASHINGTON – In a rare display of harsh criticism, President Obama lambasted First Lady Michelle Obama as she and the presidential children were preparing to board Air Force One. When the President first arrived on the tarmac he was all smiles as he waved to press members and staff that had gathered to see...
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Obama Welcomes America’s First Transgender Baby to White House

WASHINGTON – This afternoon top administration officials and celebrities joined President and Mrs. Obama in welcoming America’s first transgender baby to the White House. Eleven-month-old Hillary Rodham Carter is the youngest transgender to meet officially with a U.S. president. The president hosted a gender-neutral luncheon for the adorable transgender tot and its parents with...
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President Obama Awards Himself the Presidential Medal of Freedom

WASHINGTON – On Wednesday President Obama presented awards to seventeen honorees of the Presidential Medal of Freedom. The medal is the nation’s highest civilian honor, awarded for meritorious contributions to the security or national interests of the United States, to world peace, or to cultural or other significant public or private endeavors. After introducing...
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President Obama and North Korean Dictator Kim Jong-Un in Twitter Feud

WASHINGTON – Early this morning North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un took to his Twitter account and began a rash of disparaging taunts directed at President Barack Obama. After a year of clownish bravado from the young dictator that included nuclear threats, few were surprised that he would attempt to provoke the president with denigrating...
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