Posts Tagged ‘ Mark Donahue ’

David Caruso Explains Sideways Stance: “I Always Face Mecca”

LOS ANGELES – Last week when David Caruso appeared on The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra asked him at the end of their short interview, “David, how come you keep facing away from me?” Caruso stood up, put on his sunglasses and said, “Because, Tyra….I always face Mecca.” Caruso then walked off stage and the...
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NFL to Force All Players to Dance After Every Play

NEW YORK – NFL commissioner Roger Goodell announced today that all NFL players will be required to dance after every play in the upcoming 2014 season. “We feel that since the majority of players for the past many years have celebrated by dancing or preening after scoring, running, tackling, blocking, being penalized or just...
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For $25 Obama Campaign Lets Donors Pick the President Up and Hold Him

WASHINGTON – In an effort to raise additional campaign cash the Obama administration has come up with an unusual way for supporters to help the president’s reelection bid. Anyone who donates $25 or more can pick up President Obama and hold him. Campaign staffers admit the president was wary of the idea at first,...
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Chris Matthews Unveils Photograph of Republican Racial Code Book

NEW YORK – This afternoon on MSNBC’s Hardball with Chris Matthews, host Chris Matthews revealed a photograph of what he claims is the book that contains Republican racial code words. The photograph shows an old and worn leather bound book that appears to have several hundred pages. Matthews said the photograph was sent to...
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Todd Akin Pledges to Double Rapists’ Child Support Payments

ST. LOUIS – In an effort to gain support from Missouri voters who might be uneasy with his recent comments about rape and abortion, Congressman Todd Akin told a group of senior citizens at the One Way Ticket nursing home this afternoon that his first priority as a U. S. senator would be to...
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Harry Reid: ‘Bain Investor Told Me There’s a Mitt Romney Sex Tape’

Harry Reid: ‘Bain Investor Told Me There’s a Mitt Romney Sex Tape’

WASHINGTON – In an interview with The Huffington Post, Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid said a Bain Capital investor told him that Mitt Romney wasn’t releasing his tax records because for ten years he didn’t pay a dime in taxes. This afternoon, less than 48 hours since the accusation, Senator Reid told The Daily...
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Boston Mayor Claims Fight Against Chick-fil-A Prevented Homosexual Holocaust

BOSTON – According to members of his staff, when Mayor Thomas Menino was told that the president of Chick-Fil-A restaurants did not support gay marriage, he knew the citizens of Boston would expect him to act. Although the rest of the nation is slowly beginning to accept the idea of gay marriage, Boston is...
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Joe Biden Visits Kids at Summer Camp, Trivializes Parents’ Success

Joe Biden Visits Kids at Summer Camp, Trivializes Parents’ Success

BALTIMORE – During a fundraising expedition in Maryland over the weekend, Vice President Biden stopped at a summer camp a few miles outside Baltimore and visited with dozens of kids aged 5 to 13-years-old. The children were visibly excited to share part of their afternoon with the vice president with many getting autographs and...
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Barbara Walters Lands First Interview with 3-Month-Old Colorado Shooting Victim

Barbara Walters Lands First Interview with 3-Month-Old Colorado Shooting Victim

COLORADO – ABC News announced today that Barbara Walters has landed the first interview with the 3-month-old victim of last year’s tragic movie theater shooting in Aurora, Colorado. The baby was released from the hospital in good shape the day after the shootings with doctors saying the child’s injuries were not life threatening. The...
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NAACP Endorses Mitt Romney!

HOUSTON – This afternoon, just days after its members booed him as he addressed their convention, the NAACP announced their endorsement of Mitt Romney for president. After receiving the news Mr. Romney returned to the convention where hundreds of jubilant African Americans welcomed him with chants of Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! Mitt! The Republican candidate...
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