Posts Tagged ‘ Maury Povich ’

Cybill Shepherd Willing to Die Protesting the War On Women

Cybill Shepherd Willing to Die Protesting the War On Women

NEW YORK – A defiant Cybill Shepherd shocked “CBS This Morning” television viewers Friday when she announced she would not be wearing a bulletproof vest when she marches on Washington to protest the war on women. Stunned viewers sat open mouthed, some admitted weeping while others sought counsel from clergy. One woman has already...
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Vice President Biden Endorses Rick Santorum

Vice President Biden Endorses Rick Santorum

WASHINGTON – In a surprising turn of events today, Vice President Joe Biden announced that he is backing Republican candidate Rick Santorum in the 2012 presidential race. The Vice President said he will continue to serve his country as second in command while he campaigns for Santorum on weekends. He assured his democratic base...
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Rick Perry Says Romney Beat Poor Elderly Woman with a Polo Mallet

Rick Perry Says Romney Beat Poor Elderly Woman with a Polo Mallet

New Hampshire – After getting walloped in Tuesday’s New Hampshire Republican primary, Texas Governor Rick Perry lashed out at Mitt Romney during an interview on FOX news. Perry called Romney a vulture capitalist who devours companies and leaves behind the carcases of the workers. He also said Romney was an unethical person who wants...
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OBAMA RESIGNS!

WASHINGTON, DC – The White House announced today that President Barack Obama will step down as the President of the United States so that he can focus on winning the 2012 Democratic presidential nomination. White House Press Secretary, Jay Carney, said the President plans to make an official announcement in a speech at Germany’s...
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Black Caucus Wants Hangings by Tea Party Members to be a Hate Crime

Black Caucus Wants Hangings by Tea Party Members to be a Hate Crime

WASHINGTON – Outraged by the growing number of black people being lynched by Tea Party members of Congress, the Congressional Black Caucus introduced a bill that will make it a hate crime when someone hangs an African American. Caucus members Hank Johnson (D-Ga), Shelia Jackson Lee (D- Tx), Maxine Waters (D- Ca) and Andre...
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Al Sharpton: America’s First Illiterate News Anchor

Al Sharpton: America’s First Illiterate News Anchor

NEW YORK – In a move to build on its reputation for diversity and equality, MSNBC placed civil rights activist and opportunist Al Sharpton at the helm of his own news show in 2011. In a surprising moment of candor last month, MSNBC president Phil Griffin confirmed that the African American host of PoliticsNation...
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Maury Povich Guest Claims Maria Shriver Bore His Child

Maury Povich Guest Claims Maria Shriver Bore His Child

Yesterday on daytime television’s Maury, host Maury Povich informed his audience that his guest would be the former gardener for Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. When Maury said that the gardener would claim that former first lady of California, Maria Shriver, bore his child, the studio audience gasped and began squirming in their seats. Aware of...
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Michael Moore “Pretty Sure” He Experienced Erection During TSA Pat-Down

Michael Moore “Pretty Sure” He Experienced Erection During TSA Pat-Down

NEW YORK – Not everyone is complaining about the Transportation Security Administration’s (TSA) “pat-down” procedures. During a time in which thousands of Americans share their dissatisfaction with being groped and prodded, fondled and squeezed at airports, filmmaker Michael Moore is calling for Americans to “lighten up” and “enjoy” what he called “a necessary precaution...
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Obama: You Could Be Burning In The Flames of Hell!

Obama: You Could Be Burning In The Flames of Hell!

WASHINGTON D.C. – President Obama chided a reporter this afternoon in the Rose Garden after being asked how much worse things are expected to get. The reporter was referring to unemployment and the number of jobs lost in July. The president sighed and then admonished the reporter. “Do you know how bad things could...
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Obama: Blame for Oil Spill Falls On Joe Biden

WASHINGTON, DC – During his appearance last night on the Joy Behar Show, President Obama said that he is tired of taking the blame for everything and that it was time that his second in command started taking some of the heat. Obama reiterated what he’d said just hours earlier on The Maury Povich...
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