Posts Tagged ‘ megalomania ’

Maury Povich Guest Claims Maria Shriver Bore His Child

Maury Povich Guest Claims Maria Shriver Bore His Child

Yesterday on daytime television’s Maury, host Maury Povich informed his audience that his guest would be the former gardener for Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger. When Maury said that the gardener would claim that former first lady of California, Maria Shriver, bore his child, the studio audience gasped and began squirming in their seats. Aware of...
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Russell Crowe Champions Foreskin

Russell Crowe Champions Foreskin

SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA – International movie star Russell Crowe has thrown down the gauntlet regarding what he refers to as the “barbaric and stupid” act of circumcision. Spreading his message via Twitter yesterday, the Academy Award winning actor lashed out against removing the foreskin from newborn babies and those who perform the procedure. He included...
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Anthony Wiener Blames Lewd Twitter Pics on Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece

Anthony Wiener Blames Lewd Twitter Pics on Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece

NEW YORK – In a stunning turn of events earlier today, an enervated Anthony Wiener told reporters that he sent obscene photographs of himself to young women around the country because Charlie Sheen’s hairpiece told him to. During a statement overwrought with emotion and despair, Wiener claimed that Sheen’s hairpiece also told him to...
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Tyra Banks Brings Meatloaf to His Knees

Tyra Banks Brings Meatloaf to His Knees

NEW YORK – In what has become her signature maneuver as an investigative journalist, Tyra Banks was able to psychologically lure-in and then break down singer Meatloaf in a segment on 60 Minutes Sunday night, giving viewers a glimpse inside the angry rock star’s almost pathological preoccupation with his name. Tyra interviewed Meatloaf in...
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Dayton Ohio Gets a New Police Chief Courtesy of Eric Holder

Dayton Ohio Gets a New Police Chief Courtesy of Eric Holder

DAYTON, OHIO – The proud city of Dayton and its police department is celebrating the quick promotion of one of its newer recruits who is soon to take over as Chief of Police. It was only two weeks ago that Deleshantai Washington passed the recruiting exam that, thanks to the new lowered passing test...
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Moammar Khadafi Seeks Asylum in Alabama

Moammar Khadafi Seeks Asylum in Alabama

CRAWDAD, ALABAMA – As war planes flew over Libya’s capital of Tripoli and military snipers took position on rooftops in an apparent attempt to dissuade people from joining rebel fighters, news sources around the world issued reports that Libyan dictator Moammar Khadafi fled the country and was en route to Venezuela. Yet confidential sources...
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Jay Cutler’s Grandmother Calls Him a Pussy on Local Sports Show

Jay Cutler’s Grandmother Calls Him a Pussy on Local Sports Show

CHICAGO – After a bruising loss to the Green Bay Packers in the NFC Conference Championship, Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler told reporters he was very disappointed that his teammates were not able to get him to the Super Bowl. Cutler left the game early in the third quarter due to a mysterious knee...
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‘Parallel Parking with the Stars’ Debuts on NBC

‘Parallel Parking with the Stars’ Debuts on NBC

HOLLYWOOD – In a vigorous effort to compete with Dancing with the Stars, Skating with the Stars and American Idol, NBC announced the premier of their new celebrity competition series Parallel Parking With The Stars, which debuts in February. With a newly structured no-holds-barred, winner-take-all approach, NBC is confident ‘Parallel Parking with the Stars’...
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Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece Arrested, Held Without Bail

Charlie Sheen’s Hairpiece Arrested, Held Without Bail

NEW YORK – Charlie Sheen’s publicist told reporters today that Charlie was a victim not the culprit in Tuesday’s drunken, drug induced debacle at New York’s Plaza Hotel. The publicist had originally said that Charlie’s actions were due to an allergic reaction to medication, but now asserts that Sheen’s hairpiece caused him get drunk,...
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In Her Bid to Remain Speaker of the House, Pelosi Switches Parties

In Her Bid to Remain Speaker of the House, Pelosi Switches Parties

WASHINGTON – After weeks of Internet rumors of her impending retirement if Democrats lose the House majority, Nancy Pelosi stunned a crowd of admirers last night when she announced that she is switching to the Republican party. A source high-up in the Pelosi staff told The Daily Rash that Nancy Pelosi is a “street...
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